


Faded (Grace)

by NoxyHart



Series: The Grace Trilogy [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Drinking, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Explicit Language, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 21:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 73,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15179546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoxyHart/pseuds/NoxyHart
Summary: Angels can feel just like humans can. It also means that they can suffer from depression. After everything that happened in his life Gabriel finds himself at the end of his rope. Can his family help save him from himself or will the archangel seek an easier way out?





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. This is a little piece I wrote for a friend who was going through a very tough time to show her that she could make it through because she is strong. Depression is a very serious thing. I have lived with it since I was thirteen and I'm about to turn thirty in a few weeks. I have been on and off medications and been through therapy and have the scars to prove that the struggle to find the will to keep going is real. I dedicate this story to those that have ever suffered from depression, or those that have loved ones who have. Keep fighting.
> 
> ~Noxy
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I just borrowed them.

**Prologue: Goodbye**

"It wasn't like that!"  
"It was from where I was standing."  
"It really wasn't like that!"  
"You had your tongue down her throat! You were kissing her like no tomorrow! You were looking at her as if she was your entire world wrapped up a red dress!"  
"How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?! I never saw her! I thought I was with you! I thought it was you I was kissing."  
"So now you're mistaking a random girl for me?"  
"That was no girl as you saw. That was the thing we were supposed to be hunting. I'm sorry that I stupidly fell into it's trap!"  
"Maybe if you didn't go chasing after every little hot thing that catches your eye maybe it wouldn't be a problem!"  
"I thought we talked about this! It's just the way I am. It's my nature."  
"Oh really? Being a man-whore is in your nature? Which one would that be, hmm? The Trickster part or the Archangel part?"  
"That's not fair and you know it."  
"Since when do you give a damn about playing fair?"  
"Maybe since I found someone that I care about."  
"I think you're both being unreasonable about this so why don't we just cool our jets before someone says or does something that they regret?"  
"Stay out of this Dean."  
"He's right you know. Let's just calm down and talk about this like two rational adults."  
"Oh so now you're taking my brother's side over mine?!"  
"No! I'm just saying-"  
"But you agree with him?"  
"If it means working this out between us then yes!"  
"Why? You going to fuck him next?"  
"..."  
"That was uncalled for Sammy."  
"Didn't I tell you to stay out of this Dean?"  
"He's just trying to help."  
"Help what? Find you the next notch on your bedpost? If so then at least you went to the right person. Dean only knows how to do one night stands."  
"Sammy!"  
"I told you I haven't slept with anyone since the beginning of our relationship. Loyalty is one of the base traits of an archangel."  
"You wouldn't know what a real relationship was if it walked up and slapped you right in your smug face. Maybe that's why all of them failed."  
"One could say the same about yours."  
"At least I didn't sleep with my brother!"  
"What do you want from me Sam? Why are you making this into such a big thing?"  
"Maybe because I don't think I can trust you! You flirt with everyone you come across and then you make it seem like it's no big deal! I mean what happens at night after I go to sleep? Do you rush off to them and try to coax them into bed? Are you hoping to find a quick fuck to get your rocks off? What?"  
"I never have and I never will cheat on you."  
"Then what happened tonight? You had your tongue down her throat and her hand was in your pants! What do you call that?!"  
"I call it being caught in a trap that you saved me from."  
"..."  
"Sam?"  
"I can't do this anymore. I can't handle watching you flaunt yourself for everyone to fawn over."  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yes I'm serious! I can't do this anymore!"  
"Sam if we just-"  
"Get out."  
"What?"  
"I want you gone. I want you to leave."  
"You want some space then? Time to work this out?"  
"No! I want you out of my life."  
"You can't mean that."  
"I can. I never want to see you again."  
"Sam please!"  
"Get out Gabriel! Get out and never come back! Ever! I don't want you in my life!"  
"Is that what you really want Sam?"  
"Yes."  
"Fine. I'll leave but I want you to know that making me leave won't change how I feel about you. I will always love you."  
"I hate you."  
"Goodbye Sam."

 

**_18 Months Later_ **

"You're sure about this?"  
"Yes. I was checking the area for any signs of the monster and I saw him there."  
"What was he doing?"  
"He was at a den of iniquity. He was drinking and indulging but he seemed strange."  
"How so?"  
"I walked right up to him and said hello but he didn't seem to realize it was me. He seemed almost dazed. I fear what this could mean. He may have been injured or worse to be in such a state."  
"What could be worse?"  
"You said yourself that he took the break up rather hard did he not?"  
"He looked like he wanted to rip his heart out of his chest and lay down and die right there."  
"Maybe he was just very drunk."  
"I don't know Cas. It took a liquor store to get you drunk. Something tells me it'll take more then that to get an archangel drunk."  
"What are we going to do Dean?"  
"Well if we do find him then we'll just have to keep him out of Sam's sight until this case is over. Maybe get him a nice motel room and put him in a ring of holy fire. Then once the case is over we'll let him out and everyone is happy."  
"And why is everyone happy?"  
"No reason Sammy. Cas was just telling me about this bar slash brothel place this creature went to. Looks like we'll have to hit it up."  
"Alright. Car's packed so let's go."  
"You go ahead. We'll meet you in the car."  
"Okay."  
"..."  
"..."  
"..."  
"..."  
"Whatever happens we cannot let Sam find out that Gabriel's there. I don't care what we have to do but they can't run into each other."  
"Why are you so intent on protecting Sam?"  
"It's not Sam I'm trying to protect. Now let's get out of here. Hopefully we can gank this mother before it does anymore damage."


	2. Reunited

**Chapter 1: Reunited**

Gabriel stumbled as he made his way out the door of the bar and brothel he was in. He was completely wasted but his high was starting to wear off; he needed another dose. The last thing he wanted was to be sober because being sober meant that he would remember and then the pain would come back. He didn't want the pain to come back. He didn't want to remember that he was once loved and cherished by someone; he wanted to forget it. Gabriel made his way down the steps but tripped on the last one and ran face first into someone's chest. It was a guy and boy did he smell good.  
Large hands came up and grabbed his shoulders to steady him. "Hey are you-"  
"'m fine." Gabriel slurred out. "Just tripped. Sorry."  
Gabriel tried to pull away but those hands tightened until they were just this side of painful. "You don't look so good."  
"'m drunk and I was high." Gabriel answered truthfully. "And 'm 'bout to go get high again. Thanks for catching me."  
Gabriel yanked himself out of the grasp of whoever had him and collided painfully with the brick wall, scrapping his cheek. He managed to find his balance and used the wall for support. He was only going around the corner and into the alley anyway. Drugs were forbidden in the bar so he had to come out here which was fine by him. Some of the people who enjoyed the rougher side of sex like to hang out back there. Maybe he could leave town with a bang.  
More like a gangbang. Gabriel thought as he chuckled to himself.  
Turning the corner he made it into the alley and over to the back steps. He more fell then sat down but it didn't matter. He was sitting and still upright so he'd count that as a win. The blonde reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small old fashioned ornate silver pill box. Opening the round container he was greeted by the sight of a pile of dried vibrant pink leaves. He pulled one out and closed the box and slipped it back into his pocket. He heard someone let out a startled gasp as he opened his mouth and place the petal on his tongue and let it dissolve. A feeling of bliss speard over him like a warm blanket and the high began to hit.  
"What did you just take?"  
Gabriel waved off the voice; why did it sound so familiar? "Just something to ease my pain. Now unless you wanna fuck then leave me alone."  
"Okay how about you come with me and we'll get you cleaned up." There was a hand grabbing his upper arm but Gabriel yanked away and ended up falling off the step and onto the wet asphalt below.  
"Fuck off. I told you unless you wanna fuck then leave." Gabriel said, watching as the rain started falling once more, making his drug induced mind start to wander.  
The angel pushed himself into a sitting position and stared at the light above him. Everything was blurry and with the rain it seemed like there were stars falling all around him and it was so beautiful. Gold eyes slowly closed as he enjoyed the feeling of the cold rain on his overheated body. It felt good and would probably feel even better when his clothes were off.  
The was the sound of a scuffle nearby and it made him open his eyes just in time to see a demon smoke out of a body. At least he thought that what it was. To him it looked like the shadows were dancing with the rain around it. It was beautiful and for some reason a little worrying but he couldn't bring himself to care. He closed his eyes again; it wasn't his problem.  
A hand returned to his arm. "Listen you feathered asshole. We need to get out of here. There are demons and some kind of weird monster thing prowling this whole area."  
"Not my problem. I'm just here for the sex. If you want it then come get it. Don't hafta pay me."  
There was a beat of silence. "Are you serious? Is he being serious?"  
"I think so. I also think he's out of his mind. What was that stuff?"  
"A potent drug that is quite addictive. It not only gets an angel high but also makes one fairly aroused. It's no wonder he was here at this place. He can get everything he needs right from here."  
Gabriel let out a chuckle, not really comprehending what was being said but hoping that it would lead to more pleasant activities, and reached down for his belt. "We gonna have some fun or not?"  
Hands reached down and stopped his. "We're in an alley. It's cold and it's wet."  
Gabriel thought about it for a second. "So we're not fucking?"  
"Not in this weather."  
Gabriel fished out a key from his pocket but it slipped form his fingers to land in a puddle next to him. "I gotta room we could use."  
"Okay this is too much. Look we just want-"  
"There are more coming. We need to leave now!"  
"Dammit! We can't just leave him here Cas!"  
"We don't have time for this Dean. Move!"  
"Sammy wait!"  
Gabriel struggled to focus. Did he just hear who he thought he did? Before he could even try to get his stoned mind to understand something heavy crashed down on the back of his head hard. His already dumb downed mind began to fade into blackness. He felt someone pick him up and he was thrown over their shoulder. His world faded into a swirl of colors as he felt disconnected from what was happening. He heard what sounded like a car and a door opening before he was roughly thrown down onto something. He was given a shove and there were the sounds of door slamming followed by an engine. Gabriel managed to pull himself up only to end up falling on someone.  
"Are you okay? I'm sorry I hit you but we needed to get you out of there."  
"Though I fell again." Gabriel muttered as his hands began to wander over the body that was beside him, it was the same one that caught him earlier, he could tell by the smell. "Can we still fuck?"  
Hands grabbed his before he got to the waist. "No. We are going to get you someplace safe where we can get you sober."  
That sent a chill down the archangel's spine. He didn't want to be sober. That was the last thing he wanted. He tired pulling away but those hands held him tight. Oh how he wished he could use his Grace right now. He pulled sharply trying to get free but those hands just held him tighter.  
"Get off me! I don't want to be safe or sober!" Gabriel shouted managing to get one hand free to reach for a door handle, his panic was killing his high and he needed to get away.  
"Shit! Cas do something! He's trying to jump out of the car!"  
"What should I do?"  
"Use your angel mojo and knock him out!"  
Gabriel struggled but a warm hand came up and brushed across his head and blackness enveloped him. Sam looked down at the now unconscious angel sprawled across the back seat and most of his lap. His clothes were ragged and looked like they had seen better days. He cheek was bruised and bloody from where he had smashed into the wall earlier and his blonde hair was a bit longer and dirty as well. He was far paler then he should have been and there were dark circles under his eyes. It was still Gabriel though and the hunter was a little horrified by what had just happened. It was almost as if Gabriel didn't care what happened to himself.  
Sam suddenly had a startling revelation. He raised his head and glared up at Dean and Castiel, who were in the front seat of the Impala. Neither the angel nor his brother had seemed shocked to see the angel. If anything since they had arrived in the small town the both of them had been almost hyper vigilant and always seemed to be looking for something. They both must have known that Gabriel was there and they kept it from him.  
"This is what the two of you were talking about before we left the bunker wasn't it?" Sam accused the two.  
Castiel flushed and looked away. "Yes. I found out when I went ahead to scout for any signs of the creature. Given what happened between the two of you I decided to tell Dean and let him decide the best course of action to take."  
"Which was?" Sam asked, turning his glare to his brother.  
"Cas and I were going to find Gabe and take him to a motel and put him in a ring of holy fire." Dean said. "Just to make sure he stayed out of your way. Then once we were done and on the way home I was going to have Cas let him go."  
"Let him go? After all the time that Chuck, Michael, and Lucifer spent looking for him?" Sam asked. "You were just going to let him go? Were you ever planning on telling me?"  
"What would you have me say Sam?!" Dean snapped. "You were the one that told him never to come back! As far as as know I was doing you a favor and trying make sure that you never saw him again just like you wanted! Be mad at me all you want I was just trying to give you what you wanted."  
Sam let out a frustrated sigh, knowing Dean was right, and looked down at the blonde in his lap. "He looks different."  
"He's in pain Sam. I can feel it from here. It was the only reason I found him. His pain was so pronounced that I'm surprised that a Rit Zien hasn't found him." Castiel said.  
"What's a ritzin?" Dean asked.  
"A Rit Zien. Angel medics of the battlefield. They can heal but they can also mercifully end the life of an angel who has been mortally wounded or emotionally despondent." Castiel said. "The amount of pain the Gabriel's in should have drawn them like a beacon. If he's been like this the whole time then I can see why he's using the Devil's Claw."  
"So he's hiding his pain with some drug Lucifer made?" Dean asked.  
"No. Devil's Claw is an actual plant that is used for numbing but when it's been dried and treated with holy water and certain oils, it becomes a powerful drug that's highly addictive." Castiel said. "Dean give me your phone. I need to call my Father."  
"What's wrong with your angel radio?" Dean asked, fishing his phone out of his pocket. "I didn't think those things broke."  
"Nothing. I would just rather not have the other angels listening in to this." Castiel said taking the phone and dialing the number. "There are some angels who are still not happy that Gabriel left heaven. In his current condition he's vulnerable."  
The phone was picked up on the first ring. ^Dean?^  
"No Father. It's me." Castiel said softly.  
^Castiel? What's wrong? Do you need help?^ Came Chuck's very worried voice followed by the sound of Michael and Lucifer in the back ground sounding both worried and ready to go at a single word from their father.  
"No. We're heading back to the bunker now. We didn't find the creature but we did find someone else. We had to stop the hunt to get him to safety because some demons found us." Castiel said softly. "He's in bad shape. He's in so much pain."  
^How bad? Who did you find?^  
"Gabriel."  
There was a long silence from the other end and it began to make Castiel nervous. Chuck had been looking for the Fourth Born since he had vanished. It had hurt to see his Father worry so over being unable to find one of his children. Castiel knew Chuck would never say it but it was taking a toll on him, not knowing if Gabriel was dead or alive and having no way to find him.  
"Father?"  
^Tell me everything.^

 

"Alright Castiel. Be safe and hurry back. I'll make sure your road is clear. Tell Dean to put his foot to the floor and don't stop for anything. I don't care if it's a red light or stop sign just tell him to keep going. I've got everything covered. I want the four of you home now. Use your Grace to help if you must." Chuck said. "Just make sure he's stable on the way here. We'll be waiting."  
^Thank you Father. Goodbye.^ Castiel said hanging up the phone.  
Chuck ended the call and sat the phone of the table on front of him. He had known this was coming. He was God, how could he not? He just didn't know that it would be this bad. Gabriel had done a wonderful job of hiding himself from even his eyes and now Chuck was wishing that he had tried a bit harder to find his youngest archangel. Gabriel had always been the most emotion driven of his first four sons, with Lucifer being the second most emotional one.  
A glass of whiskey was sat down next to him and Chuck looked up to see Lucifer staring down at him. "Thank you. I needed that."  
"Something's wrong." Lucifer said softly, moving to take the seat next to him. "You're upset."  
Chuck picked up the glass and drained it. "That was Castiel. They're on their way home."  
"Why would that warrant them not stopping for anything Father?" Michael asked from the other side of the table. "Are they in danger of some kind?"  
"No. Turns out they had to stop the hunt." Chuck said. "Dean, Sam, and Castiel are all unhurt. They're safe."  
"Then why did they have to stop the hunt?" Michael asked, his mind racing. "They wouldn't just stop a hunt for no reason. Not with the amount of lives that have been lost."  
"You said you wanted the four of them home." Lucifer said suddenly. "Who is the fourth?"  
Chuck heaved a sigh. "While Castiel was out scouting he ran into someone. It wasn't until tonight that Castiel realized how bad the situation was. Demons found them and they were forced to take drastic steps in order to make sure they all got away safely."  
Lucifer felt his heart clench, there was only one reason his Father would be so upset. "Father...Did they find him? Please tell me they found him!"  
Chuck nodded. "They found Gabriel. They're bringing him home."  
Lucifer let out a shaky sigh. "They found him. I can't believe they finally found him."  
"Lucifer I want you to listen to me okay?" Chuck said taking his son's hands. "There is also bad news with the good news. Yes they did find your brother but there is a problem. He's in pretty rough shape from what Castiel has told me. When they found him he was very drunk and he was taking Devil's Claw. They don't know how much he took tonight other then one petal but they think he took more because he told them that he was going to get high again."  
Lucifer shook his head not wanting to believe it. "Gabriel..."  
"He's in a lot of pain. Can I count on you both to help me with him?" Chuck asked.  
"Of course Father." Michael said. "Just ask anything you want of us."  
"Okay. When they get here we'll need some warm blankets and a soft bed. Castiel said he's hurting so I want him to be as physically comfortable as possible."  
Lucifer stood and headed down the hall to the bedrooms. Since being freed from hell, Lucifer was at first very angry until Chuck had sat down with both him and Michael and had a very long talk. Apologies were given, problems were talked about and they somehow managed to move past all their problems. Now both Michael and Lucifer stayed with the Winchesters every chance they had in order to help them. It made Chuck very proud to see to see his sons so involved in trying to help humans.  
The one thing that had come up that they hadn't been able to solve was Lucifer's guilt over what happened between him and Gabriel. Lucifer admitted that he regretted what he did the minute it happened. The Devil had attacked with the belief that it was another illusion and that Gabriel had already run away. When his Grace had burnt out and his wings burned onto the floor Lucifer said it felt like he had died along with his younger brother. After finding out that Gabriel was still alive the first thing the Second Born had wanted to do was apologize but upon finding out that he couldn't be found, something inside him had broken.  
Lucifer wasn't idle in trying to make up for what happened though. He had summoned Crowley and proposed a truce with Sam and Dean playing mediator for them. Between the Devil himself, and the King of Hell, they managed to get hell into some semblance of order but there was still a major civil war going on which is what they were dealing with now. The Leviathans were a piece of cake compared to some of the battles they were fighting now. Which was why Michael and Lucifer stayed at the Bunker most of the time.  
"How bad is it really?" Michael asked once he was sure that Lucifer was out of earshot. "How bad is Gabriel?"  
"I'm not sure. I can't read him right now. Castiel said they had to knock him out to get him to come with them. He said he didn't want to be safe or sober." Chuck said. "We might have a serious problem Michael. If Gabriel is depressed then his Grace is going to be uncontrollable. I don't want to consider it but we might need to take him back to heaven."  
"Do you think a Rit Zien could help him?" Michael asked. "Gabriel is the strongest healer we have. If they can't help him-"  
"Michael." Chuck said stopping the First Born. "We might need to consider sealing him away until we can get him through this. Gabriel's power is dangerous if not properly controlled. You have no idea the damage a healer can do when his power is used with ill intent."  
"Gabriel would never hurt anyone!" Lucifer snapped, having heard the last part of the conversation as he returned. "Even in pain he would never go against him vows!"  
God let out a sigh. "Lucifer I'm not saying that it will happen but we do have to consider the possibility. We need to cover all our bases. I promise that we will do everything we can to help him. I won't abandon any of you ever again."  
Lucifer nodded, his face pulled into a frown. "I just...I want our family back. I need to apologize to him. He needs to know that I never meant to hurt him."  
Chuck gave him a smile as Michael pulled the Morningstar into a hug to try and calm his mate's distress. "I know you do. Now that Gabriel's coming home we'll be okay. We just need to support him through this just like we did with you. You'll see. We'll be a family again soon. I promise."


	3. A Failed Attempt

**Chapter 2: A Failed Attempt**

Castiel held Gabriel close as they made their way into the bunker, feeling the heat of his body despite the layers between them. Since the angel was soaked from his time in the rain Sam had wrapped him in one of their emergency blankets. It was worrying to him that during the four hour drive, which should have taken eight, that the archangel hadn't stirred once. Sam pulled open the door for him and Castiel slipped inside. Chuck was waiting for them in the main hall.  
God rushed over and placed a hand on the blonde's head and let out a worried noise. "He's burning up. How long has he been like this?"  
"When he bumped into me coming out of the bar he was already really warm." Sam said. "It's gotten worse tough. He hasn't woken up since Cas knocked him out."  
"Why did you knock him out?" Michael asked.  
"Because the idiot panicked and tried to jump out of the car the while I was still driving it!" Dean said. "That was when we said we were going to get him sober."  
"This isn't good. I need to look at him now." Chuck said taking the angel's fluttering pulse.  
Michael was quick to act and he shoved everything off one of the tables and to the floor. Sam made a distressed noise at the mess but didn't say anything, knowing that Gabriel was more important at the moment. Castiel moved quickly to lay the archangel down on the table but he had to fight to get the blonde to release the tight grip he had on his trench coat. It took Michael hitting a pressure point in Gabriel's wrist in order for him to let go.  
When he pulled back, Michael's concern grew when discovered something grim. "Blood."  
Chuck looked up and his blue eyes locked on the blood decorating the First Born's hand. "Jacket. Michael get it off now."  
The dark haired angel nodded and with a snap the jacket was gone leaving the Fourth Born in a ratty long sleeved gray shirt. Michael pulled the sleeve up to reveal a line of cuts going across the angel's inner arm starting from his elbow and going down to the middle of his arm. Each cut was in a different state of healing but the one closest to his wrist had been reopened. Chuck eyed the cuts before pulled up the sleeve on Gabriel's other arm only to freeze at the sight of the shining metal bracelet around his wrist.  
"That explains what he's in such a bad shape." Chuck said. "A Sigil cuff. There's only one on him though."  
"Do you think someone forced it on him?" Michael asked, looking worried.  
Chuck ran a finger over the runes on the cuff before shaking his head and pulling back. "Doesn't look like it. I think he made a pair and put this one on himself. Gabriel must have a place somewhere where he's keeping the other one. A house or a hideaway close to where you found him."  
"Gabriel said he had a room." Castiel said suddenly. "He dropped the key where we found him."  
Chuck nodded as he noticed Lucifer coming into the hall. "Lucifer, the Winchesters and I can handle him. Castiel I want you and Michael to go back to where you found him. Find that key and get into his room. I need to know if he's been taking anything else other then Devil's Claw."  
With a nod the two vanished. Lucifer slowly came into the room, his eyes locked on Gabriel's still form. His crystal blue eyes took in the sight of the cuts and blood on the smaller blonde's arm and his battered cheek. Lucifer looked up at his father, who gave him a nod letting him know it was okay to come in, before slowly moving closer. The Devil was truly shocked by his younger brother's condition and it showed on his face.  
"He's hurting." Lucifer whispered, reaching out but not quite touching his brother. "I felt the same type of pain when I was cast down. It feels the same."  
"Lucifer can you handle this?" Chuck asked, concern growing for his other son, who was still in a healing state of his own. "If not then I can get Sam and Dean to help me."  
The Morningstar shook his head. "No. I can help. Do you want his cuts healed too?"  
"Just clean him up for now. We'll bandage the cuts. I don't want him to spook too badly when he wakes up." Chuck said. "He's already starting to have nightmares. I can feel them."  
Lucifer snapped and Gabriel was now laying, clean and dry, on the table and in a short sleeved shirt and sweat pants. Lucifer reached out again but hesitated just short of touching Gabriel once more. He ran his hand over the cuts and a white bandage appeared. Lucifer looked up at his brother flushed face and let out a sigh. How had this happened? Gabriel was the happiest angel he ever knew. What had happened to cause him such pain?  
Gabriel let out a whine and began shifting. The Second Born pulled back, startled by the sudden movement. Chuck reached out just as Gabriel began to shift even more, his quiet noises growing louder. The moment God touched him the Fourth Born began to scream and thrash, struggling and fighting, knocking his father to the ground with a wild swing. Sam and Dean were the first to react and managed to grab Gabriel and pin him to the table while Lucifer rushed to his father's aid.  
"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted as he managed to cross the angel's arms and pin them to his chest. "Gabriel wake up! Gabriel!"  
"It's not working Dean!" Sam said having to get on top of the table to keep the small blonde's legs pinned. "I don't think he can hear you!"  
Lucifer pulled his father up and turned back to Gabriel and placed a glowing hand on his brow. "Gabriel! Gabriel you need to calm yourself okay? Stop fighting me. Come on now Gabby. Just relax. We aren't hurting you. No one is. I promise."  
The Trickster's struggles slow and confused gold eyes open slowly. "Please...Please! I can't!"  
Lucifer shook his head, making sure not to break eye contact. "We're not hurting you. We're trying to keep you from hurting yourself okay? Stop fighting me." The glow around the Devil's hand got brighter. "Just relax and let the spell work okay?"  
"I can't! I need it! I need more!"  
Lucifer's face darkened and the glow increased once more. "No. I'm sorry Gabby but I can't let you have anymore."  
"Get off me! I want it! I need it!"  
"Father!" Lucifer called, and Chuck was by his side in an instant. "He's fighting me! I'm afraid of using anymore power. I could hurt him."  
Chuck's hand laid over his second eldest son's and it started glowing too despite Gabriel's shouted demands and threats. It didn't take long until those gold eyes began to slowly close once more. The blonde's fighting lessened and finally slowed to a stop until he was sleeping once more. Dean let go and Sam got off the table, grateful that no one had gotten hurt, knowing just how powerful the small archangel was. Chuck pulled back as well, leaving Lucifer with his hand still on Gabriel. The Devil's face was full of sadness and regret.  
"Lucifer?" Sam asked. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." Lucifer said softly. "It just hurts knowing that I can't really help him. This pain isn't from a broken bone or a cut. Emotional and psychological wounds are not easy to heal. I'm not even sure where to begin trying. I know I have a lot to make up for but I also know that I'm not the only one. I just hope it's not to late."  
With that said Lucifer picked his younger brother up and cradled him close to his chest. Gabriel reacted and his hand fisted tight into Lucifer's plaid shirt. With a nod to their Father, Lucifer turned and walked away. It was easy to tell that The Fallen was taking Gabriel to his new room. Chuck watched them go with a sad smile.  
"Don't worry Lucifer. You're already off to a good start. You just can't give up." Chuck said softly. "None of us can."  
Dean turned to the shorter man. "Give it to us straight Chuck. Is Gabriel going to be okay?"  
Chuck turned to regard the hunter. "It depends on who is willing to support him Dean. He's depressed. Depression works a little differently in angels then it does in humans. There isn't any medications that can help him get better because they don't last long enough to work. We need to make him understand that we do still care for him. Right now the hardest part will be getting him to believe us."  
"Do we even stand a chance?" Sam asked. "Because Lucifer, Michael, and Cas all seem to think that Gabe is in too much pain."  
Chuck closed his eyes and took a moment before opening them again. "We do stand a chance. If we can grab it before it's gone. Castiel and Michael are on their way back. They have his things. Hopefully these will give us some answers so we can help him."  
"Will they be okay alone?" Sam asked, he wanted to go after them, but he wasn't sure how either Lucifer or Gabriel would react to him being there.  
"They'll be fine." Chuck assured him.

 

Lucifer took Gabriel to the room he had set up. He had made the bed as soft as possible remembering how much Gabriel liked comfort. He laid his younger brother down and stepped back. Lucifer didn't want to admit how bad it tore at his heart to see Gabriel in such a state. He remembered the smaller blonde being strong, just like when they faced each other down at the hotel. The younger hardly ever shed a tear and was always ready with a smile or joke to cheer up anyone in need. Now it seemed like all the life had been sucked from him.  
Lucifer reached down and moved some of those blonde strands away from his face. It was strange that right now he was seeing Gabriel as the fledgling he remembered. Some of Lucifer's fondest memories of the youngest archangel was of Gabriel trailing behind him, trying to learn how to do spells and trying to fly before he was ready. Lucifer couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he remembered Gabriel trying to fly and almost crashing. Lucifer had been quick enough to catch him but Gabriel had been terrified and refused to try flying again for years.  
Michael had been understandably upset, not with him though. Raphael was supposed to have been watching him but instead had left him alone. If Lucifer hadn't listened to his gut then they might have just lost him that day. Raphael hadn't even been bothered by the fact that Gabriel had almost been hurt on his watch. That was when Lucifer had decided to take full responsibility for his youngest brother. He then taught Gabriel everything he knew. His fighting, his spell work, his illusions, his tricks, he taught them all to Gabriel.  
Lucifer leaned down and gently kissed a flushed cheek. "I'm so sorry Gabriel. I will spend from now to eternity trying to make things right between us. Your Big Brother is here for you again."  
Gabriel let out a sigh and shifted, rolling over and cuddling the spare pillow on the bed. Lucifer frowned and placed a hand on the Fourth Born's cheek and let out a smile; his fever was breaking. The Devil kissed his cheek once more and turned to head out the door. His brother needed his rest and Lucifer was going to make sure he got it. He'd leave his door open tonight just in case; after all he would be right across the hall.

 

Gabriel shifted and stretched, confused as to why he wasn't feeling worse. The last thing he remembered was going into the alleyway behind the brothel. Normally after going into the alley he ended up feeling battered and sore all over. Opening his eyes he groaned at the bright light that stabbed at him. He threw an arm over his eyes and rolled over but quickly pulled his arm away at the strange feeling that came from it. Pulling his arm away he noticed the white bandages covering his arm. Shocked, he sat up and began taking stock.  
He was in a set of clean clothes that he had never seen before. Reaching up he ran a hand through his hair and realized that he had also been cleaned up as well as being patched up. His gold eyes glanced around, not recognizing the cream and brick walls. Shaking his head he realized that he was still a bit on the stoned side but it was quickly fading. To make it worse he had no idea how long he'd been unconscious for or where he was.  
Slowly getting up from the bed he stood on rather shaky legs. Once he was sure he could support himself, Gabriel began searching the room. The nightstand was empty as was two of the dressers. The third held his ratty clothes and he found his sneakers on the far side. Whoever had him at least made sure he was taken care of. He just wasn't sure why. As far as anyone knew he was just some random junkie that drank and had too much sex with anyone who was willing. He never even gave a name.  
Going over to the door Gabriel frowned as his somewhat bound power detected the runes that were around his door. Angelic sigils designed to keep him in. Panic seized at his heart. If there were angelic sigils then he might have been found by other angels. The cuff around his wrist would have given away the fact he was a bound angel. There was a chance that if he was taken in by other angels and put in a room then there was the slimmest hope that they didn't know who he was. After all when he left he had looked entirely different then he did now and and with him being gone for so long his Grace might not be recognized.  
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Gabriel thought about his options. One, he could remove his sigil cuff and use his Grace to break out of where ever it was that he was being kept in a grand display of power. Two, he could try and sneak out with minimal fuss and disappear back to whatever random town he landed in and go back to his blasphemous ways. Then there was the third option where he could sit and wait until his host, or hosts, decided to check on him and he could find out what was really going on. The only problem with the last option was that he would be facing down a person or persons unknown without a weapon. It was not his ideal situation.  
A sudden tingling ran down his spine. Gabriel's hair stood on end, his palms began to sweat, and his breath caught in his throat. Even partially bound he could feel the Grace that had just appeared. He knew that Grace. It was the Grace of archangels. He couldn't tell who it was but with Raphael dead it was a safe bet that it was most likely either Michael or Lucifer or both, meaning that his brothers had been released from the Cage. If they were free then it was a safe bet that they had found him and were the reason he was currently locked in.  
Gabriel fell to his knees. His brothers had found him and locked him in. He was their prisoner. No doubt they were going to punish for all of his misdeeds. Their fury at finding out what he had been doing recently would surely be almost unfathomable. His punishment would be unthinkable. No doubt he would be tortured or worse for his crimes. Gabriel knew that he'd rather die.  
With that thought he manage to get to his feet. The archangel half stumbled back over to the dresser where he found his things. Luckily enough no one had thought to go through his pockets. Gabriel pulled his jacket out of the dresser and searched through the pockets frantically until he managed to pull the round box out and dropped his jacket to the floor. Opening the lid he was met with the vibrant pink petals and smiled; Lucifer and Michael wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing his pain.  
Gabriel took a deep breath and placed one petal on his tongue followed closely by a second, then third, then a fourth. As the blonde reached for a fifth his vision began to blur and his breathing became harder. Gabriel dropped the silver box sending the petals scattering across the floor as he made a grab for the dresser only to knock it over with a resound crash as he found himself unable to breathe. The blonde hit the floor as he began to black out, not realizing that he had just alerted someone to his peril.

 

Lucifer would deny to this day, the panic and fear he felt as seeing Gabriel laid out on the floor, Devil's Claw surrounding him like rose petals at a wake. He fell to his knees and used his Grace to stabilize his younger brother before sending out a call for his Father and Michael. Chuck appeared first, shock written on his face before jumping into action. He fell to his knees and carefully cradled Gabriel's head in his hands.  
"What happened?" Chuck asked, taking in the condition of his youngest archangel.  
"I don't know. I heard a crash and found him like this." Lucifer admitted.  
Gabriel's skin was growing pale at an alarming rate. His eyes were open slightly but blank like the lights were on but no one was home. The archangel pulse was once more fluttering beneath his fingers and Chuck hated it. The worst part was how Gabriel's lips were turning an unhealthy shade of blue, letting God know that there wasn't much time.  
As Chuck carefully channeled his power he was aware of Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Michael appeared. He heard a vivid curse from the humans followed by the worried inquires of his sons. Lucifer was quick enough that he began answering their questions giving him time to work. It was all a matter of forcing Gabriel's body to purge the toxins of the created drug. It was just taking more time then he would have liked because the blonde had taken so much of it.  
"Will he be okay?" Chuck heard Sam ask.  
Chuck pulled back with a smile as Gabriel began coughing. He pulled his son into his arms and held him as his lungs struggled to draw in their required air. Gabriel clung to him tightly and it reminded him of when Gabriel was younger. It had taken him forever to get Gabriel to release him so he could go back to creating. Now he wished for those days back. He wished for Gabriel to look at him, at all of them, with love once more. Chuck knew that day would come but he also knew the Gabriel had much more suffering that he was going to have to endure first. For now all Chuck could do was hold Gabriel as he slowly recovered from his attempt on his life.


	4. Save Me Please

**Chapter 3: Save Me, Please**

Gabriel opened his eyes, staring at the brick ceiling in confusion. The last thing he remembered was feeling the Grace of his brothers. Gabriel slapped a hand over his face as the memory of what happened crossed his mind; had he really been stupid enough to try and kill himself? The answer would be a resounding yes because the throbbing in his head and chest seemed to confirm that. He could only guess that someone had found him after is little act of stupidity and saved his life. He also had no doubt that he was saved only because he was useful in someway. After all, what other possible use could they have for someone like him?  
Getting up Gabriel tried to stand only to fall and land hard on the concrete floor, pulling a hiss of pain from him. Pulling himself up to his knees he took a deep breath and focused using the pain of his most likely reopened wounds on his arm. It took a few minutes before he was able to get to his feet but even then his legs shook horribly. Gabriel forced himself into action and over to the dresser. Opening the drawer that had his clothes he began going through his clothes but what he was looking for was missing.  
"Where the fuck is it?" Gabriel muttered to himself as he searched his clothes again; it couldn't have just vanished.  
"You're not going to find it Gabriel."  
Gabriel turned so quick that he was hit with a wave of dizziness and landed on his ass.  
"Are you alright?"  
Gabriel glared up at the dark haired angel in front of him. "Castiel."  
Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "Why are you angry at me?"  
"Where is it?" Gabriel demanded. "I want it back!"  
"I would not give it back to you even if I had it." Castiel said. "Not after your attempt to kill yourself a week ago."  
"A week?" Gabriel asked. "I've been out for a week?"  
Castiel nodded. "Yes. It was a very close call. The Sigil Cuff on your wrist, along with the amount of Devil's Claw you took, made it harder to heal you. We've been taking turns watching over you to make sure you would recover. The others have been rightfully worried about you."  
Gold eyes narrowed. "Why? Afraid your source of information will die?"  
The seraph frowned. "We don't want information from you. We found you in an alleyway. You were getting high and some demons found you. We killed most of them but one got away. There was no other choice but to get you to someplace safe."  
"So you dragged me back to heaven." Gabriel spat bitterly.  
"No we didn't. This isn't heaven." Castiel said simply. "We're still on earth."  
Gabriel was silent for several minutes seemingly think over what he had been told before speaking again. "I felt...There are other angels here. Other archangels. You've warded the room so I can't get out. You took my Devil's Claw."  
"Yes. I will admit that there are other angels here. They come and go as needed. Yes they are archangels. The room is warded but it is warded with spells of protection and monitoring spells to keep you safe. As for the Devil's Claw, I am not the one who took it." Castiel explained. "If you want it back then you'll have to ask the one who took it. I do not believe that you will be able to convince him to let you have it back."  
The blonde fell silent again, and a look of worry crossed his face. "Who...who else is here?"  
Castiel seemed to hesitate. "Does it matter who is here?"  
"I just want to know my survival chances." Gabriel said looking away.  
"Survival chances?" The younger angel asked. "We didn't bring you here to harm you. We just want you safe. We care for you."  
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT ME?!" Gabriel shouted.  
Castiel was taken back by the sudden anger that came from the angel. Footsteps echoed outside the room and Castiel turned and stepped outside the door. Dean and Sam slowed down when he halted them and the angel motioned for them to wait there. There was a rustling and Lucifer, Michael, and Chuck appeared as well, having been drawn by the warding on the room. Castiel also motioned for them to wait before going back in.  
Gabriel was glaring at him when he returned. "Telling the guards that they don't need to give me a beat down for yelling at my host?"  
"As I said before, no one here is going to hurt you." Castiel said. "Now what did you mean by us not wanting you?"  
Gabriel turned away, his gold glare settling on the floor. Castiel frowned at the silence. He didn't understand why Gabriel was refusing to talk to him. As far as he knew he knew he had done nothing that should have angered the archangel. He had never even attempted to harm him and yet Gabriel was treating him like he was the enemy. Castiel let out a sigh and looked away, not realizing that the noise had drawn the blonde's attention.  
"Clearly you don't want to talk to me. If you change your mind then just call for me." Castiel said turning and heading for the door.  
"Why didn't you call for me?"  
The younger angel turned at the whispered words. "What?"  
"After I left...There were times where you could have used my help." Gabriel said softly. "I waited. I waited for months hoping that you would call me. I wanted to come back to you, and Dean, and Sam. I wanted to be part of your lives. I kept hoping that you'd call for me. I even kept the stupid cell phone you made me get. I wanted to be part of your lives."  
Castiel felt cold at the angel's words; he knew that there had been several times where they had talked about calling the archangel to help but in the end they had managed without his help. "Gabriel we never meant to abandon you. We honestly thought you didn't want to come back. We didn't know that-"  
"That what?" Gabriel demanded. "That I was waiting for you to ask me to come back? Sam told me to leave and never come back. I gave him my word! I left! I stayed away! I did as I was asked!"  
"We didn't know that you were waiting on us." The dark haired angel said. "If we had known-"  
"Then what? You probably would have had a good laugh about it then huh?" Gabriel spat. "Let's all laugh at the worthless archangel! Look at how pathetic he is! Waiting around to be called like the good dog he is! 'Come Gabriel. Smite this Gabriel. Good Gabriel. Good archangel.'"  
"Gabriel you are not worthless or pathetic." Castiel said softly. "You-"  
"I what?" The blonde growled out. "Do you know what it's like to have the people you love throw you away like you're nothing?! To stop caring about you?! To stop loving you for something that wasn't even your fault?! Taking an angel blade to the heart would have been a kinder and quicker death!"  
Blue eyes went wide. "Surely you don't mean that."  
"Why wouldn't I?" The archangel said, his voice cracking. "No one cares about me. I'm better off dead. No one would even miss me."  
"You can't believe that." Castiel said confidently. "You know there are people who care for you."  
"When I left heaven no one cared enough to try to stop me. They let me go and never once bothered to look for me. They knew I was still alive, that my death was faked. Instead I found out that I was to be executed should I ever return. Those were Michael's orders. Lucifer made his opinion on how he felt about me pretty clear when he killed me; message received loud and clear that he didn't give a damn about me. Raphael is the reason I lost my vessel's soul. He didn't think twice about ripping him away from me and leaving me alone in my vessel. He did that just because he knew it would hurt me! And wasn't even by far the worst thing he did to me!  
"You think I would have given up by then huh? Instead I put my heart on the line again. Just when I think I've found my place again, someplace I can be happy one fucking drug induced dream manages to take it all away. I can't even stand to look at myself, knowing that I brought the people I love pain. The best thing I could do was forget." Gabriel whispered, tears streaming down his face. "I don't want to remember. I want to forget. I want to forget my pain. I want to forget that no one cares."  
"Gabriel we do care."  
"If you really cared then you would have let me die Cassie. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to wake up feeling cold and dreading opening my eyes because I know that I'll be alone. I'm just...I'm so tired of it all. I'm scared to die but I don't feel like I can go on living either. I just want...I want the pain to stop."  
There was the sound of a scuffle in the hall and it drew both angels attention. There was a the sound of footsteps and Chuck appeared in the doorway, tears also streaming down his face. Gabriel seemed shocked by his appearance. Chuck didn't hesitate, he came into the room and dropped to his knees, pulling Gabriel into an embrace. It took the archangel a minute to understand what was happening.  
As soon as Gabriel understood who was holding him he began to flip out. He started screaming and ranting in a mixture of languages. He punched and kicked the deity, struggling and fighting. Chuck was unfazed by every blow and took each one without a flinch. It didn't take long before Gabriel had stopped punching and screaming. Chuck held onto the archangel as sobs wracked his body and he didn't let go until they finally stopped.  
Chuck pulled back and reach up and wiped the tears from the angel's cheeks with a gentle caress. "There. I think you needed that. Did that help?"  
Gabriel shook his head, nodded, then shook his head again.  
The deity let out a chuckle. "I know. It's too soon to know if that helped any. Come on. Let's go talk okay?"  
The blonde nodded and allowed his father to pull him to his feet. Chuck smiled and grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Gabriel's shoulders. As he lead his son out of the room he turned to Lucifer and silently asked the Second Born to make some food. Lucifer nodded and rushed to do what his Father asked. Sam and Dean went ahead and got one of the lounge rooms ready by turning up the heat and getting a few extra blankets and pillows just in case. Castiel and Michael stuck close in case they were needed for anything else.  
It didn't take long for Chuck to get Gabriel settled in. The angel was wrapped in a soft blanket and laid down on the couch. Chuck was also on the couch and letting Gabriel use his lap for a pillow. Lucifer quietly came in after they were settled with hot cups on tea and a few sandwiches. Gabriel tensed at seeing his older brother but Lucifer just gave him a quick nod and was gone.  
Chuck waited until he was sure Gabriel was relaxed once more before trying to talk to him again. "Okay. We have snacks and drinks. You're nice and warm and we have all the time in the world. Anytime you feel ready then go ahead. You have my attention."  
Gabriel nodded but didn't speak up. Chuck leaned forward and picked up one of the cups and took a small sip. Satisfied that it was a safe temperature to drink he held it out to the archangel. The blonde blinked then sat up a bit a took a small sip. Chuck had to pull the cup away when he wanted to keep drinking. Gabriel let out a whine but Chuck replaced the cup with one of the finger sandwiches that Lucifer made. Once the food was eaten the deity allowed his son another drink before placing back on the table. If Gabriel could keep it all down then he could have more; Chuck didn't want his son to get sick.  
"I called for you."  
Chuck sighed. "I know you did. I'm sorry I never answered."  
"Are you staying for good this time?"  
"Yes. I'm staying. I promise."  
"Why am I so broken?"  
Chuck frowned at that. "Who said you were broken?"  
"There...There has to be something wrong with me." Gabriel said, his soft voice cracking, not realizing that his words were also breaking the hearts of the hunters and angels that were listening from the hallway. "No one wants me. Maybe you made me wrong. Or there's a flaw that makes people leave me. Maybe something's missing."  
"Nothing is missing Gabriel." Chuck said, his finger sliding into those blonde locks. "I made three other archangels before you. I'm sure I didn't forget anything. I like the way my youngest archangel son turned out. I'm happy with you."  
"Yet you still left me."  
"I know. It's something that I will always regret doing." Chuck admitted. "I was trying to make you stronger. I see now that there were so man other ways I could have done it. I'm still proud of how strong you've become."  
Gabriel shook his head. "Strong people don't try to kill themselves."  
"Those people sometimes turn out to be the strongest people." Chuck said. "What you did wasn't done out of a desire to die. You did it because you wanted to save yourself from more pain. I admit that I should have stayed with you until you woke up so I could have explained things but a problem arose in heaven so I had to return. You're very lucky Gabriel. If Lucifer hadn't decided to leave the door to his room open we never would have found you in time."  
"Why are they free?"  
God let out a chuckle. "The Winchesters suggested family therapy. Turns out that it works really well. Michael and Lucifer are both actively fighting with them."  
Gabriel let out a harsh sob. "So they didn't call because the had Mike and Luci to call on."  
Chuck wrapped an arm around the sobbing angel. "No they didn't. I didn't free Lucifer and Michael until after I found out you were missing. I brought them here to help me find you. Do you know how scared I was when I couldn't feel you anymore? It wasn't just a gradual fade out like if you died. It was so sudden and painful that I rushed to Sam, Dean, and Castiel's sides to find out what happened."  
"I hurt Sam." Gabriel sobbed out. "I betrayed him."  
"No you didn't. I expalined things to them and Sam realized that he was wrong. When the four of us couldn't find you we resorted to more risky measures. We got Crowley involved and when that failed I let Michael and Lucifer out. We've all been looking for you. Turns out we should have tried looking at the bars. We never thought to try there because I figured that you knew it'd be the first place we'd look."  
"I couldn't stand the pain so I started drinking. The drinking didn't help." Gabriel said softly. "I tried all of the human drugs but they never lasted long enough. It wasn't until after I started cutting that I remembered about the Devil's Claw."  
"And why did you start cutting?" Chuck asked.  
"It gave me a different pain to focus on. It never lasted long enough through. Neither did the Devil's Claw. I made..." Gabriel took a deep breath and tried not to shake.  
"Take your time." Chuck said picking up the tea and getting the blonde to take another sip. "I told you that we have all the time in the world."  
Gabriel nodded but decided to forge on; if he stopped talking about it he might not be able to talk about it again. "I made the Sigil Cuffs. I only use one because it made everything last longer. Being drunk, the pain, the high all lingered because my Grace was weak. It made it better. The sex was just me trying to fill the emptiness. I was so tired of being alone."  
"I promise you won't be alone anymore Gabriel." Chuck said. "I'm here for you and so are your brothers. They want to make peace so we can be a family again. Is that something that you might want?"  
Gabriel nodded and sat up burying his face in his father's shirt and sobbing. "I want it."  
Chuck held him close. "I know you do. The first thing we have to do is get you better. All of this is driven by your depression. Once you get better then we can work at being a family again."  
Gabriel pulled back, shock clear on his face. "I'm..this is depression? Why...Why haven't the Rit Zien found me?"  
Chuck gave him a sad smile. "You saved yourself with the Sigil Cuff and Devil's Claw. It's the only reason they didn't find you. Gabriel I need you to understand that this isn't just something that I can make go away. This is very serious. I need you to understand that you'll have to stop the drinking and drug use. Same thing for the sex. None of that is helping you."  
Gabriel looked away. "What happens if I don't want to stop? What if they're the only reason I'm able to keep going?"  
Chuck reached into his pocket and pulled out the round silver pill box. He opened it and showed Gabriel that it was filled with Devil's Claw once more. The deity took his son's hand and placed the box in his hand and closed his hand around it before pulling back. Gabriel looked down at his hand in confusion unsure of why his father was giving it back to him after what he had done.  
Chuck stood and kissed the top of Gabriel's head. "This has to be your choice alone Gabriel. I can't make it for you. You can choose to go back to that lonely existence or you can try to make it work with us. Either way we'll respect your choice. I'll give you a few minutes to think about it."  
Chuck walked away and out into the hall, shutting the door behind him. Outside he was met with grim looks from almost everyone but Lucifer. The Morningstar was glaring at him and Chuck understood his anger. After all he had not only told Gabriel that it had to be his choice but he had also given him back the same drug that nearly ended his life.  
"I can't believe you did that." Lucifer spat. "What if decides to try again?"  
"Then that is his choice Lucifer." Chuck stressed. "Gabriel has to decide what is best for himself. We can't make this choice for him. If we did then he'd end up hating us."  
"Do you know what he'll pick?" Sam asked.  
"I do. He just needs to think about it first. If I pushed him then he would have made a different choice." Chuck said. "I believe in my sons."  
"Dad?"  
Everyone one turned to see Gabriel standing in the doorway. He was pale again and clutching the blanket tightly with one hand while the other was balled into a tight fist. He took a couple steps then started shaking. The blonde slowly began to sink to his knees. As he did he opened his fist and the silver box fell from his hand to hit the floor. As it bounced off the concrete it opened and released a could of ash, all that was left of the Devil's Claw. Gabriel looked up at Chuck with an outstretched hand and tears pouring from his eyes.  
"Save me, please."


	5. Getting Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cookies to the person who figures out Gabriel's favorite movies!

**Chapter 4: Getting Clean**

Gabriel glared at the plate of food in front of him before turning his glare to Castiel. "How many times to I have to tell you that I'm not hungry!"  
"Gabriel your weight loss is evident. You need to eat." The younger angel said.  
"I can't Cassie! Why aren't you getting that?!" Gabriel snapped. "Get that away from me!"  
"Gabriel you-"  
Castiel was cut off as the angel was suddenly across the room and violently throwing up into a trash can. The younger angel rushed over to his older brother and gently placed a hand on his back. After waiting a few more minutes for the vomiting to subside, Castiel began to get worried when it didn't seem to be stopping. He was about to call for help when Dean walked in. The hunter took one look at the situation and took complete control. Dean grabbed a second trash can and rushed over and once there was a pause in the archangel's vomiting, switched out the bins.  
"There you go Gabe. Easy does it." Dean said shoving the full bin at Castiel. "Get rid of that. It's just making him worse. Okay how's that? Better?"  
Gabriel took a few deep breaths, glad that it finally stopped. "Yeah. I'm fine. It's stopped."  
"What they hell happened?" Dean asked. "What set off the technicolor yawn?"  
"He keeps trying to feed me." Gabriel spat. "Make him stop!"  
Dean looked over at the food and sighed; Castiel had made his brother pizza. "Cas he can't have pizza right now. He needs something that isn't grease soaked. It'll just make him worse. Go ask Sam or Lucifer to make him a smoothie or some soup and crackers."  
"Don't bother." Gabriel said trying to get to his feet. "I won't be able to eat that either."  
"You have to eat something." Dean said helping the blonde stand. "You haven't eaten anything since you woke up and had that talk with Chuck."  
Gabriel pulled away from the hunter only to stumble and fall back to the ground. "I can't! What's it going to take for you to fucking listen to me?!"  
"What's going on?" Lucifer said as he appeared, his blue eyes taking in his younger brother on the floor and Dean and Castiel looking worried. "Why are you on the floor?"  
"To make you ask stupid fucking questions!" Gabriel snapped, his hands were shaking horribly as he tried to use the nearest chair to get to his feet once more.  
The taller blonde sighed at the hostile attitude. As much as Lucifer wanted to repair his broken relationship with Gabriel he knew that it would have to wait. The Fourth Born was already dealing with enough problems, like his withdraw symptoms. The past four days had pretty much been hell for the youngest archangel once his symptoms started appearing.  
"Would you like some help?" Lucifer asked softly.  
"No! I just want-" Gabriel cut himself with a harsh sob as his weakened body gave out and he sank to the floor again. "I...I can't...I can't do this..."  
Lucifer sighed and walked over and pulled his younger brother to his feet. "Come on. Let's get you warm. I'll make you some tea and you can watch a movie."  
Gabriel clung to Lucifer, not realizing how happy it made the Fallen. "I'm sorry."  
"You're going through withdraw. You have nothing to apologize for." Lucifer reminded him. "You're almost through this. Tonight should be the last night. No more nose bleeds, no more headaches, no more shaking, and no more vomiting. You're doing really well."  
The smaller blonde gave him a small nod before letting out a whimper. "I'm hungry."  
"I'm sorry. I wish I could give you something but you know that will just make everything worse." The Second Born said. "Let's get some tea into you to keep you hydrated."  
"Seriously? He actually can't have food?" Dean asked.  
Lucifer nodded. "Unfortunately. If he eats it will only make the symptoms worse."  
"You mean all that shit that's been happening is just him detoxifying?" The hunter asked in disbelief. "What the hell?!"  
"I told you that Devil's Claw was very addictive." Castiel said. "Gabriel's symptoms are surprisingly mild taking into account how long and how much he's been taking. He's been lucky."  
Dean's shocked green eyes turned to his boyfriend. "This is mild?"  
"He could be having seizers and vomiting blood." Lucifer said. "Trust us when we say he's lucky. This could be so much worse then mood swings and nose bleeds."  
"Dean? What's taking so-" Sam froze in the entrance to the kitchen and took in the scene. "Everything okay?"  
"Yeah." Dean said. "Feathers here just got a bit queasy. We're good. Still want that beer?"  
Sam nodded but his eyes remained fixed on Gabriel, who was clinging to Lucifer's plaid shirt as if it were the only thing saving him. Sam didn't want to admit it but it made him jealous to watch them. He knew that there wasn't anything going on between them, not with Gabriel going through his rehabilitation, but the hunter could easily see the love in Lucifer's eyes. The same love that Gabriel claimed that Lucifer once gave him. Sam wanted to do nothing more then rip Gabriel away from the Devil and wrap him in his arms and never let him go again.  
"Come on." Lucifer said softly. "Let's get you comfortable then I'll make you some more tea."  
Gabriel suddenly gave his brother a hard shove and was throwing up in the trash bin that Dean was holding. Lucifer rushed to steady him but Sam was already there holding onto Gabriel while the angel painfully dry heaved. Dean held the bin steady until the smaller blonde stumbled back and Sam helped lower him to the floor.  
"I'm so fucking sick of this!" Gabriel shouted wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I can eat! I can't sleep! I can barely walk! I'm constantly sick! And everything fucking hurts!"  
"What hurts?" Sam asked.  
"It's the last symptom." Lucifer said. "Cramps and muscle spasms. Gabriel why didn't you say anything to us?"  
The Fourth Born hung his head. "Don't you think I've already caused enough trouble? I didn't want you to waste anymore time on me."  
"Damn it Gabriel!" Lucifer snapped, before reigning in his temper. "You haven't caused any trouble and any time I spend on you has never been or ever will be a waste."  
"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I should have been left in that alley." Gabriel whispered.  
Lucifer's blue eyes carefully took in his brother's thin, pale, and shaking frame. "I'm going to call Dad. You're hurting again."  
The Trickster's head snapped up and he looked even more upset. "No!"  
"Why not?" Sam asked, not sure why the blonde was turning down his Father's help when it was clearly what he really needed. "He can help you."  
"He doesn't need to know. I...I can handle this without him." Gabriel said, his shaky words betraying his confidence. "Besides...he's probably busy. Heaven needs him more then I do. The needs of many outweigh the needs of one."  
"Okay Feathers here's the deal." Dean said kneeling in front of the angel. "We're going to set you in front of a nice movie or two. Lucifer is going to fix you a cup of hot tea. Sam is going to get you a nice warm blanket. One of us is going to be with you at all times and you will tell us if the pain gets worse. If you don't then I'll have Chuck down here faster then you can say Casa Erotica. Got that?"  
Gabriel looked away, debating his options before turning back, looking more like a small child asking for a treat then the archangel he was. "Can...Can we watch my favorite movies please?"  
Dean nodded. "Only if you behave. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but we are trying to help you. You're not the first person I've had to sit through this with and you probably won't be the last. I had a friend who got strung out on some bad stuff. I stayed with her to help get her clean. She didn't have even half of your strength. I know you are strong enough to get past this. So we're strapped in right there with you okay? We're not letting you go."  
The archangel opened his mouth but no sound came out. Tears spilled from his eyes once more and he let out a mixture of a sob and laugh. Dean couldn't help by smile; it was the first time he heard anything close to happiness come from the smaller blonde. All he needed was encouragement.  
Gabriel suddenly looked up at Dean. "I'm scared." He whispered.  
"I think we're all a little scared." Dean admitted. "Now how about we go watch that movie?"  
The angel nodded but then flushed. "I...I can't...Help?"  
Sam helped pull the blonde to his feet and Gabriel hesitantly clung to the fabric of his shirt. He couldn't help but feel a bit smug and turned to look at Lucifer. The Fallen was glaring at him but made no move to separate them. Instead his glare turned to a smirk and he turned and began making a pot of tea. Sam's smug grin turned to a frown but before he could comment Gabriel began to shake again. Castiel moved to help Sam and between the two they got him out of the kitchen. As soon as they were gone Dean turned to look Lucifer who was still smirking as he made the tea.  
"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Dean asked. "Now is not the time for the two of you to have a pissing match over Gabriel! He is in no condition for it!"  
Lucifer turned to look at Dean. "I'm not the one who is trying to hold claim over Gabriel."  
"Looked that way to me." The hunter said with a glare.  
With a sigh Lucifer ran a hand over his wrist and a platinum bracelet set with sapphires and a huge diamond that had a single egg shell white feather sealed into it appeared. "Do you know what it means when an angel wears the feather of another angel Dean?"  
Dean's green eyes flicked from the bracelet up to the Fallen's own blue. "Not really. Should I?"  
Lucifer shrugged. "I take it Castiel hasn't explained it to you yet. Allow me then. When an angel gives another angel one of their feathers it is the ultimate act of love and trust. If our feathers, blood, or even the smallest bit of our Grace were to fall into the hands of an unscrupulous character then we could easily be controlled. When an angel gives another a feather it is the human form of marriage. Michael gave me his feather and he has mine. We're mates."  
"You married Michael?" Dean asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.  
"Yes. While we were in the Cage. Over a thousand years will give anyone plenty of time to work out their differences." Lucifer said quietly. "Now you know why I hold no claim over Gabriel. I will admit that I still love him. I probably always will. Michael knows that and accepts it. Sam does not. In fact he confronted me and threatened me to stay away from Gabriel once we found him so I can assume the Gabriel told him about us. Whether your brother likes it or not the two of us share a bond that he can't understand and that's what's making him jealous."  
Dean thought everything over. "So you aren't trying to shack up with Gabe then."  
Lucifer let out a laugh. "No. I'm not trying to 'shack up' with Gabriel. I won't betray Michael like that. I love him too much. Sam is just going to have to get used to the fact that Gabriel and I have a history together."  
Lucifer poured the now done tea into a cup. Opening one of the cabinets he reached into the far back and pulled out a small round tin. Opening up revealed a blue powder. He pulled out a measuring spoon and filled it to the one fourth line with the powder. Adding it to the tea he stirred it before adding a small bit of sugar. With a smile he replaced the tin and turned to find Dean glaring at him.  
"Muscle relaxer. I'm hoping to calm his cramps a bit." Lucifer said softly. "Gabriel never did like asking for help. Not even when we were a family. He liked to hide injuries and broken bones from us even back then."  
The eldest Winchester sighed. "I know exactly what that's like. I guess we both have pain in the ass little brothers huh?"  
Lucifer chuckled. "You have no idea."

 

Sam watched as Gabriel shivered under the electric blanket. He wasn't even paying attention to the movie that they were watching but he knew it had something to do with unicorns, a kid with a sword and fairies, and a big ugly red guys with horn. Gabriel said it was one of his favorites so that was what they were watching. There had been another one before this that was about another unicorn that was the last of it's kind and got turned into a human and a girl wishing her brother away to a guy with really bad hair, too much makeup, and tight pants. The only reason he wasn't into the movies was due to Gabriel.  
Though the blonde hadn't said anything yet Sam could tell that his pain had increased. Gabriel would tense, bite his lip, and his eyes would fill with tears. Sam had stayed with the angel the entire time since the incident in the kitchen this morning, knowing that he knew Gabriel better then Castiel or Dean did. Sam was waiting for it to get worse but it was only just now a little past four. He knew Gabriel wouldn't say anything about his pain which is why he was watching him so close; at the first whimper he was going to call Chuck whether the angel liked it or not.  
Lucifer came in with another cup of tea and held it out to the Trickster. "Here. How are you holding up?"  
Gabriel said nothing but took the tea, which had the Devil frowning. He reached over and picked up the thermometer and turned it on. The smaller blonde glared at his brother but Lucifer just pressed the device to his temple and held it till it beeped. Lucifer's frown increased as he read the numbers. Without another the word Lucifer pulled the blanket away from the Fourth Born making him let out a whine.  
"I don't want to hear it Gabriel." Lucifer said stripping out of his shirt. "Your fever is far too high. Just deal with it."  
Lucifer settled down next to his brother and the minute his cold skin made contact Gabriel let out a pain filled cry and arched away, almost dropping his tea. "L-Lucifer!"  
"I know. I'm sorry but this is the quickest way." Lucifer said pulling his brother back against his cold chest. "Just for a five minutes. If it drops then I'll get up.  
Sam grabbed his phone to set the timer when Gabriel suddenly dropped his cup, sending shards of glass and tea flying, making Sam jump to his feet and rush over to the two angels. "Gabe? Gabe what's wrong?"  
"I'm...hurts..." The angel whimpered as Lucifer held him tight.  
Sam looked up and locked eyes with Lucifer who nodded. "Chuck! Get down here! Gabriel needs you! He's in pain!"  
"Sam don't-AAAAHHH!"  
The deity appeared so suddenly that Sam had to stop himself from reacting in hunter mode. "Gabriel? What's wrong?"  
"He started cramping sometime this morning." Lucifer said. "His fever is also spiking."  
"You should have called me sooner." Chuck said as his eyes roamed over his son. "Your arm..."  
Gabriel shook his head. "It was an accident."  
Chuck gripped the blonde's arm carefully and looked over the bleeding scratches. God carefully ran his hand over the cuts, healing them but another wave of pain hit the archangel and the deity's work was in vain. Gabriel clawed at his arm, digging deeper lines into his arm and more blood. Chuck shook his head and healed the cuts again and gripped both Gabriel's wrists tightly in his hand.  
"Gabriel I know you don't want to hear this but it's time. Where do you want to do this?" Chuck asked softly. "I promise I'll be right there with you the whole time."  
Lucifer ran his fingers through Gabriel's hair, there was no way the youngest archangel would want to go back to heaven despite the fact the it probably was the safest place, until he remembered a little fact about the bunker. "They have the dungeon. It's sound proof. We'd just have to pad it."  
"Okay. I can-" Gabriel breath hitched and he struggled for a second before relaxing. "We'll go there. It's the safest place."  
"What's going on?" Sam asked. "Why do we need the dungeon?"  
"Because Gabriel is about to be in a lot of pain. He's going to be a danger to himself." Chuck explained. "Michael! I need you to do what we asked. We'll be there in a minute."  
Castiel appeared in the room with Dean, holding onto something that sent chills down Sam's spine. Even Dean was pale. Castiel passed a pair of soft gloves to Chuck, who put them on Gabriel and made sure they wouldn't come off with a snap. That done Castiel held out the second thing.  
"Is this really necessary?" Dean asked. "I mean he can be a bit crazy, but he's not nuts!"  
Gabriel looked up at the hunter with tears in his eyes. "This is for my own protection Dean. I'm going to be out of my mind with pain. I've already scratched myself till I bled."  
Chuck risked letting go of his son's hands and held the straight jacket up for him. Gabriel looked up and his gold eyes found Dean's green. The hunter gave him a nod, even if he didn't like it, and the angel allowed his father and brother to lock him into it. Dean blinked and they were gone. Sam turned to look at questioningly at his brother but Castiel grabbed them both and they were suddenly in the dungeon but instead of metal walls and floors everything was padded.  
Michael was sitting next to Gabriel talking softly to him. Lucifer was double checking the locks on the jacket and was attaching chains to some of the loops. Chuck was standing off to the side watching with a forlorn look. When he spotted the hunters he came over to them with a sad smile. Castiel gave Dean a quick kiss on the cheek and went to join his brothers leaving them alone to talk.  
"Thank you." Chuck said. "For everything. I don't know how calm he would have been if we did this anywhere else. We'll let you know when it's over."  
"I'm not leaving." Dean said, drawing everyone's attention. "I'm staying."  
"Me too." Sam said. "We're in this together. That's what family does."  
Chuck nodded. "I'm going to warn you that this will get pretty bad. This is the worst part of the detox process. You sure you want to stay?"  
Dean glared at the deity and walked over to where the angels were sitting and threw himself down on the floor and made himself comfortable.  
Chuck turned back to Sam. "Do you want to stay Sam? He's going to be in pain and he might say things that you might not want to hear."  
"I already abandoned him once Chuck. I won't make that mistake again." Sam said softly. "I owe Gabe that much."  
"I know." Chuck snapped and the doors shut leaving just a small glass window so they could keep track of the time by the clock on the wall outside. "I hope everyone's ready."

 

Crowley followed the feeling of Grace to the dungeon. He had stopped by to talk to everyone about a rumor he had heard about Gabriel. Going up to the small window he looked in and then took a step back. It seemed like the rumor was true. Looking in again he took in the sight of Gabriel, bound and curled up, his face twisted into a mask of agony with tears falling freely. The other angels were trying to keep him calm as best they could and every few minutes the blonde's thrashing would stop and they would struggle to get water into him before it started all over again.  
Shaking his head Crowley stepped back and snapped, a large basket of chocolate covered fruit appearing. Who said he couldn't be nice? At least he could call off the search and since Lucifer had his hands full the task would fall to him. Crowley wrote out a note and stuck it to the corner of the glass before turning and leaving. It wasn't the best thing in the world but they would understand.  
 _Gabriel~_  
Get Well Soon. Enjoy the fruit.  
~Crowley, King of Hell


	6. Father Son Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Kintsuig~ The art of fixing something broken with gold, silver, or platinum powder to make the piece more beautiful.
> 
> *Kadapul Flowers- A priceless flower that blooms at midnight and dies as soon as the blossom is picked.

**Chapter 5: Father Son Bonding**

Gabriel shifted, his whole body aching. His head and nose were sore and it felt like he had been punched in the face repeatedly. His mouth seemed to be filled with both cotton and a desert. Every breath he took was pain laced and his chest felt tight. His arms were the worst by far. Both of his arms felt like they had been ripped from his body, drug over sharp rocks, shoved in a fire, and broken several times over before being replaced.  
Warm fingers slid into his hair and he felt the heat of his Father's power soothing him. God's power slid over him like a warm blanket and eased his pain and tense muscles. He struggled to open his eyes and when he finally did he found himself staring into soft blue. He couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his face at the sight.  
"Dad..."  
"How are you feeling?" Chuck asked softly, his voice barely a whisper.  
"Sore. Is it over?" Gabriel asked, his voice rough and horse from his screams.  
Chuck's smile was almost blinding. "Yeah. It's over. You made it. Your Grace is intact too. You didn't cripple it like we feared. You made it through in one piece. You're clean."  
Gabriel closed his eyes and snuggled into his Father's warmth. "I can't believe I made it. I didn't think I'd survive. I was sure I had had taken too much to be saved."  
"I didn't tell them your chances." Chuck admitted. "I couldn't bare to let them know that you might not have made it through in one piece. Not that they would have given up."  
Gabriel opened his eyes to look up at his father once more, fear and hesitation dancing them. "What were my chances?"  
A tear slid down God's face. "Less then half. You stopped breathing four times and I had to restart your heart twice since your Grace was bound. If it had stopped a third time I wouldn't have been able to help you. It was a close call even with your brothers and the Winchesters helping."  
Gabriel shifted and looked around the room as best he could. Michael and Lucifer were huddled together under a blanket asleep but even with his Grace partially bound he could feel the mating bond the two shared. Dean was sitting up against the wall his face relaxed in sleep, one arm wrapped around Castiel, who was cuddled against his chest with his trench being used as a blanket for the two of them. Dean's other hand was in Sam's hair, who was using his brother's lap as a pillow and he was wrapped in another blanket.  
Gabriel shifted again and looked back up at God, confusion clear on his face. "They all stayed with me?"  
"They all stayed to help you. Sam and Dean both offered to let Michael and Lucifer touch their souls to charge up so they could keep you in as little pain as possible. They're all exhausted." Chuck said before snapping and the straight jacket disappeared. "Hungry?"  
Gabriel nodded and sat up with a hiss of pain. Looking over himself he saw the places where he had rubbed his skin raw from his struggles. The worst were the dark bruises covering his arms. He looked like he had lost a boxing match; these would take weeks to heal in his current state. Chuck saw his expression and reached out and ran his hands gently along the bruises and raw skin until they faded away to nothing. Chuck helped his son up and with a snap they were standing outside the room.  
Chuck pulled a note off the door and handed it to Gabriel. "We weren't the only ones who were concerned. Crowley stopped by as well. He left you a gift."  
"The King of Hell?" Gabriel asked in disbelief. "Like I'd take anything from a demon."  
"Crowley has been looking for you too. He helped us because Dean asked him too. The King of Hell has a bit of soft spot for him." Chuck said, taking a chocolate covered banana piece and eating it. "Not bad. So breakfast? My treat."  
"Pancakes?" Gabriel asked shyly. "And hot chocolate?"  
"With chocolate chips and strawberry syrup." God said with a laugh. "Just like we used to have when you were still a fledgling."  
"I'd like that." Gabriel said softly.  
Chuck snapped and they were suddenly sitting in a diner in the middle of nowhere with a beautiful view of the sun rising over some mountains. Gabriel was pleased to see that his dad had taken the time to clean him up and put him in fresh clothes. A waitress came over and took their order promising to be back with their drinks in a few minutes. The archangel turned to look outside at the sunrise with a pensive look on his face. Chuck watched him, not saying a word until their waitress sat down their drinks starting the blonde.  
"How can I help?" Chuck asked as the other took a drink of his hot chocolate.  
Gabriel shook his head, setting his drink down, confusion clear on his face. "I don't know."  
Blue eyes regarded the blonde. "What don't you know?"  
"I don't know anything." Gabriel admitted. "For the first time in my existence I don't know what I'm doing. Truthfully, I really was expecting to die last night. Now that I'm alive...Everything seems so strange. I feel like a stranger in my skin. I don't feel like myself."  
"That is normal. You were in a bad place Gabriel, both physically and mentally." Chuck stated. "It going to take time before you feel like your old self."  
"That's just it. How can I get back there if I don't even know who I am anymore?" Gabriel asked. "I mean I know that I'm the archangel Gabriel but I feel like that person is gone and I might not get him back. I don't even know where to begin."  
The waitress came back and set the plates down but when she set Gabriel's down she frowned and picked it back up. The archangel watched with curious gold eyes as she took his plate behind the counter and did something before bringing it back. The archangel stared at the plate in silence for a moments before he broke into chuckles. The waitress smiled at him and left, leaving the pancakes that had banana eyes, a strawberry nose, blueberry smile, and whipped cream hair.  
Chuck also laughed at seeing the temporary joy the small act of kindness brought his son. "Looks like you're already starting. We can get you through this Gabriel. It might take more time then you want it to but we can get you better. You're already clean."  
"Which looked right painful by the way." Came a British voice from a man in dark bespoke suit. "Crowley, King of Hell. I left you the fruit basket. I've heard from the Moose and Squirrel that you liked chocolate but after seeing you last night I figured some vitamins might do you some good. You look like you could use them considering how thin you are."  
Gabriel tensed at the demon's appearance due his power being partially bound, but Chuck moved over to let the demon sit so he relaxed. "T-Thanks. I think."  
"No worries. Looked like you were going through hell last night. Trust me; I would know." Crowley said with a smile. "But I am here on business. Seems like you'll be wanting to keep blondie here under lock and key for now. The other side wants him. They think because of his dealings with Lucifer that he'll be willing to help. I don't know who is involved yet but you can bet that they'll be doing anything they can to get their hands on him."  
"No." Gabriel said softly. "I'm not fighting. I can't right now. My Grace is unstable. I'm a danger to myself and anyone around me."  
"Kudos to you then." Crowley said looking him up and down. "I don't think the other side will care. The other good thing is that I don't think they know who he really is. They think he's just some angel that has had an unpleasant history with Lucifer. Be that as it may you know I'm always willing to lend out a hand should you need it."  
"Thank you Crowley, for the information." Chuck said. "We'll keep him safe."  
Crowley nodded and stood. He gave the two a smirk and with a twirl of his fingers summoned a red rose and laid it next to Gabriel. The archangel startled but Crowley vanished before he could say anything. Chuck watched him closely; Gabriel was never one to shy away from affection but right now it seemed like the very idea was terrifying him. Being emotion driven meant that Gabriel loved to touch and be touched but since he had been found he was always hesitant with his affection.  
"Gabby can I ask you a question?"  
Those gold eyes filled with tears at hearing his old nickname but he nodded. "Yeah. I won't hide anything from you."  
"I've noticed your aversion to touch even though Sam and Dean said you were asking for sex when they found you." The diety said softly, almost as if he was afraid the blonde would spook.  
Gabriel's eyes dropped to the rose once more. "I...I don't know how much Sam told you about our fight but it got pretty heated. He threw my relationship with Lucifer back in my face. I also got called a whore because of my flirting. Once I realized that they weren't going to call me back I figured that I had nothing left to loose so I might as well just prove him right. I can't even remember how many people I've slept with since I started using.  
"Now that I'm away from that I don't see a point to it; the touching I mean. I mean I never cheated on anyone and yet that was the first thought he had about me. Thinking back on it now I have to say I'm ashamed of some of the things I did. I can't even stand to look at myself. All I can see is just how much I proved Sam right. What right do I have to touch people? I feel so unclean." Gabriel said shoving the rose off the table. "Even if I wanted to take a mate no one would want me. I'm broken."  
Chuck caught the rose before it fell to the floor and held it back out to Gabriel. "Then I guess it's good that I'm very skilled in kintsugi*. Sometimes the things that are broken are the most beautiful. You are no different, Gabby."  
Gabriel couldn't help but smile at his dad as he took the rose. "I can't remember the last time someone thought I was worth anything. I think Sam mentioned it once but he was also drinking."  
"You'll always be beautiful to me." Chuck said. "I know I haven't said it but I am so proud of you Gabriel. Especially after everything you've been through. You are far stronger then you give yourself credit for. Not everyone has the strength to ask for help."  
Gabriel fought down a blush. "Thanks. I don't think I could have managed if you weren't willing to be here for me. I am willing to try. I know that this won't be easy but..."  
Chuck watched as his son twirled the rose in his hand. "But what?"  
Gold eyes looked up and locked with blue. "I still don't know where to start. I'm still lost."  
The deity chuckled drawing a frown from the archangel. "I think you're off to a good start."  
"How do you figure that one?" The blonde asked curiously. "Because from where I'm sitting all I'm doing is eating breakfast with my dad in a diner."  
"That is the start Gabby. You're willing to let me back into your life after I abandoned you." Chuck said with a sad smile. "I didn't expect you to forgive me but you have. It's more then I could have asked for. Now if you want help for the next step why don't you try talking to your brothers?"  
Gabriel heaved a sigh and turned to look out the window. "You mean Michael and Lucifer."  
"I do. Is that a problem?"  
"They both wanted me dead and one of them actually succeeded." Came the bitter tone.  
"Michael was angry at the time and he did revoke the order. As for what Lucifer did, he didn't think it was you. He thought you were already gone. When I released them he wanted to make things right with you but when we couldn't find you it hurt him. He's been waiting for the right time to try and apologize to you. They both want to apologize." Chuck said softly, laying his hand over Gabriel's. "Again this choice can only be yours Gabby. I can't make it for you. I can only support you."  
Gabriel turned his gaze to their clasped hands before looking up at his father. "I don't know if I'm ready for that. This is a little overwhelming."  
Chuck smiled. "I know. Take all the time you need. Now let's eat. After this I think we should go the park. Or maybe the Amazon. Or Spain. Some place warm with lots of flowers. You always liked seeing the flowers I made."  
"How about Sri Lanka?" Gabriel asked around a mouthful of pancakes.  
God's blue eyes lit up as he realized what his son was asking to go see. "You want to see some kadapul flowers*."  
Gabriel nodded and took another bite. "If it's not too much trouble. Maybe...Maybe then I can talk some more. There are things that I think you should know. Things I've never told anyone else."  
Chuck nodded and dug into his own pancakes. "Don't worry. I meant what I said about us having all the time in the world. I'm here for as long as you need me."  
If God had looked up from his food he would have noticed the tears the filled his sons eyes. He also might have noticed the smile on his face. Instead the diety couldn't stop his own smile as he felt Gabriel shift until their legs were touching. With a smile God wrapped his youngest archangel up in his power knowing that it was the best thing for him.

 

Lucifer paced, his Grace giving off an imposing air. Michael watched his mate carefully, ready to calm him when he exploded. When they had awoken it had been to find out that both their father and Gabriel were gone. Lucifer had almost gone out of his mind with worry. Sam had also taken it fairly hard and to make matters worse, the youngest Winchester had found the note that Crowley had left for Gabriel and it had sent the him into a fit of anger. Of course Dean had tried calling Crowley but the demon hadn't answered, much to both Lucifer and Sam's ire.  
Lucifer let out a an inhuman snarl. "Where are they?!"  
Michael reached out with his Grace and brushed it against his mate's feeling Lucifer's reach out to his. "Relax. I'm sure that Father had his reason's for taking Gabriel out somewhere."  
Lucifer suddenly stopped and turned to look at Michael and the First Born was shocked to see the raw pain in his eyes. "What...What if the reason he isn't here is because something happened after we passed out? What if Gabriel is-"  
"Don't say it." Dean warned. "Hunter's rule. You say bad shit and it happens. Shut your pie hole and keep it that way!"  
Sam had gone pale at Lucifer's words and Castiel was doing his best to comfort the hunter. "Michael is right Sam. Father must have felt the need to take Gabriel out to do something. Maybe once Gabriel felt better Father took him out for some air."  
"Yeah." Dean reassured. "He probably took Gabe out for some candy or something."  
"They will be back." Michael said softly. "All we have to do is wait."  
"Would it have been too much trouble for them to leave a note though?" The eldest Winchester asked. "I mean come on! Chuck has to know that we've been sitting here worrying ourselves to death."  
"I can try calling for him again." Castiel suggested, watching carefully as Sam stared hard at his cell phone, as if he were trying to will it to ring.  
"I've been trying since we woke up." Michael said with a shake of his head. "Father hasn't answered me."  
Lucifer stopped pacing and closed his eyes searching for Gabriel but he found nothing. Shifting his focus he looked for his father but again he found nothing. It was almost as if the two of them had vanished completely. With a growl he opened his eyes and began pacing again. Turning he found himself looking into a pair of brown eyes and it was all he could do not to smite the smug face in front of him.  
"Crowley." Lucifer hissed; he may work with the demon but they still had a love hate relationship. "I couldn't help but noticed that you stopped by last night. Was there a reason?"  
Crowley nodded. "Just checking in. I also called off the search for your brother for you. Just doing my job."  
The Fallen turned away and began pacing again.  
"I was also told to make sure everyone was in one place." Crowley said. "God said he wanted everyone here when he got back. Least I could do for the guy since his hands are full right now."  
Michael sat up a bit straighter at that. "What do you mean by that?"  
Crowley glanced over at him. "I'm talking about that brother of yours. Poor thing looks like he's had a rough go of it. He looks more like a fresh corpse then an angel. Then again if what I saw last night went on for hours I can see why. He's something else. I honestly don't know how he even managed to survive much less retained the ability to speak clearly. I've heard that getting clean from Devil's Claw can be fatal for angels."  
Lucifer growled. "Is that all you came here for?"  
Crowley gave him a smirk. "Why? Want me to stay for dinner? Maybe some naked tango later? I always did want to try having sex with an angel."  
There was a rustle before anyone could respond to the Scotsman's statement. Everyone turned to find Chuck standing there with a big smile on his face. Their relief at seeing the deity was nearly palpable. However it was quickly turning sour when Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. No one wanted to say it but they were all fearing the worst.  
"Chuck where's-"  
God put up a hand, cutting off Sam's question. Still smiling he turned and revealed Gabriel, who was standing behind him, looking quite unsure of himself. Chuck put a hand on the angel's shoulder and pulled him forward until they were standing level with each other. Gabriel turned and gave his father a questioning look and it was answered with a nod.  
"I..." Gabriel paused and God gave his shoulder a gentle rub to show his support. "I want...I want to thank you. All of you. For helping me get clean and...and..."  
Chuck gave another gentle rub. "Remember to take your time. It's okay."  
The blonde nodded and his gaze came up to fix on the people in front of him. "I...I want to..."  
Gabriel's gaze dropped to the floor and he began to shake a bit. The angel clasped his hands together nervously for a few moments before his thumb slid up and to the inside of his wrist. As his nail began to bite into his skin, God's other hand came up and caught him before he could hurt himself. Gabriel flushed but Chuck just gave him another small squeeze. Whatever the angel wanted to say was clearly hard for him.  
"I want to be a part of your lives again." Gabriel said softly his gaze lifting only to fall to the floor again. "If you'll have me. If not..."  
The heartbreak and pure fear on Gabriel's face at the thought of not being wanted again is what spurred Lucifer into action. He rushed forward and pulled his younger brother against his chest, nearly dwarfing the smaller angel. He buried his face in those blonde locks and felt a sob break free, first from Gabriel and then from himself. Lucifer felt his brother shake and pulled him closer.  
"I want you in my life Gabriel. I'd give my wings to have you back at my side." Lucifer whispered. "Anything."  
Gabriel pulled back a bit. "Don't give up your wings for me. Just...Give me time...Please."  
Lucifer nodded. "As long as you need. I won't go anywhere."  
Gabriel nodded and then let out a yawn making Chuck pull the two apart. "You two can continue this later. Over dinner. For now Gabriel needs to rest. He's still not in the best shape."  
Lucifer pulled away and Chuck put a steadying hand around Gabriel. The youngest archangel gave everyone a weak smile as Chuck lead him away. Lucifer couldn't care less about the glare Sam was directing at him right now as he watched them walk away. All that mattered was that Gabriel was okay and wanted to fix their relationship. Turning back to his mate the Fallen realized that Michael had tears in his eyes too. With a nod they both turned and headed for the kitchen so they could talk while Gabriel rested, leaving Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Crowley to talk among themselves.


	7. Accusations and Flowers

**Chapter 6: Accusations and Flowers**

Michael stood in the doorway of Gabriel's room, watching as his brother was, for once, napping peacefully. In the three weeks since Gabriel had been there Michael had been astonished by his progress. Sure the first week the Fourth Born had been unconscious, followed by five hard days of going through withdrawal, but it still amazed him. He wasn't entirely sure where Gabriel was finding the strength or energy to do some of the things he was doing. Like cleaning the entire bunker from top to bottom, organizing nearly all the files, and then going through the artifacts to find the most dangerous ones to either give to Lucifer or himself to hide, or to their Father to destroy.  
Gabriel made a small noise and rolled over so he was now facing Michael, cuddling the warming pillow that their father had given him. That was something that broke Michael's heart. He didn't think anything of it at first, watching Gabriel pull away from most people when they tired to touch him as Michael had just chalked it up to his younger brother still healing. When it didn't stop he took his concerns to their Father and God had broke the news. Gabriel, his affectionate, always ready to hug and cuddle brother, was ashamed to be touched. Michael knew that there was more to the story but he hadn't pressed; if Gabriel had wanted them to know then he could tell them when he was ready.  
Gabriel shifted again and his arm slid off the side of the bed making the light glint off the silver band around his wrist. That was something that never failed to make his stomach turn either; the sight of the Sigil Cuff, the punishment reversed for the worst fallen angels, locked tightly around his baby brother's wrist. He had asked Gabriel several times if he would remove it but each time the smaller blonde would just shake his head and hide the cuff from sight once more. He didn't understand why the Fourth Born was so instant on punishing himself in such a horrible way.  
There was the sound of feathers and a sudden cold kiss was pressed against Michael's neck. "I was wondering where you went."  
Michael felt those cold arms wrap around his waist and he turned and placed a kiss on Lucifer's cool lips. "I wanted to spend some time with him."  
Lucifer chuckled, his cold breath ghosting across Michael's neck. "And you couldn't do that when he was awake?" The Devil teased.  
"I would but this devilishly handsome angel keeps hogging my baby brother's attention." The First Born said with a smirk before turning solemn. "Besides...I didn't want to wake him from his nap. Not with how little sleep he's been getting lately."  
Lucifer pulled back and eyed his mate, his blue eyes taking in the sight of his tensed but slender frame. "You're still mad about the cuff aren't you?"  
Michael reached up and ran a hand through his blonde hair; Adam had allowed the archangel to keep his body while he returned to heaven and for that Michael was grateful. "I don't get it. Hasn't he already suffered enough? Why does he insist on causing himself more pain?"  
Lucifer pulled his mate closer. "He has a good reason for keeping it on Mike. And it's not just to get under your skin. Gabby actually needs it right now. His Grace is unbalanced at best. Once he feels better he'll remove the cuff. Until then just let him be."  
Michael sighed. "For a while I thought he was doing it as a way to punish me."  
"Punish you?" Lucifer asked, a bit shocked. "Why would he punish you?"  
The First Born turned and looked back in the room at the sleeping body within. "It was during your Fall. We...We were arguing over you. About you being locked away. Gabriel was angry that I wasn't standing up for you. He told me 'How can you let this happen? How can you betray someone you love so much?' He knew I loved you, he'd probably always knew. It was still a shock to have him say it aloud. I got angry. I told him that he knew nothing and...I did something that I would never forgive myself for."  
Michael paused a turned to face his mate. "I hit him. I was angry and regretted it the minute I did it but at the time...At the time there was something else about it that felt wrong and it wasn't that I had hurt him. When he hit the ground he...He just laid there for a moment and he had this look on his face. It was almost as if he had expected me to hit him and he just looked so resigned. I didn't, and still don't, understand why he wouldn't defend himself from me. He just laid there bracing himself, like he was waiting for me to hit him again."  
"Michael..."  
"I told him I was sorry and healed him. He said he forgave me but after that there was always this shadow behind his eyes. He never stood within arms length of me after that. He always stayed just out of my reach and I realized that he was keeping himself safe from me and it hurt. It wasn't until later that I realized that he also did the same thing with Raphael." Michael said turning back to look at Gabriel. "I can't help wonder if I wasn't the only one to raise a hand against him."  
"Are you accusing Raphael of abusing Gabriel?" Lucifer asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. "I know they didn't see eye to eye but to accuse him of-"  
"Do you have another explanation?" Michael asked, his voice sharp. "You know Gabriel better then any of us. Has he ever shied away from touching anyone before? Away from affection?"  
Lucifer's blue eyes narrowed as he thought about it. Gabriel had always been very affection driven, taking any chance he could to touch. It didn't matter who it was, be it their father or a regular angel like Castiel. In fact Gabriel was quick to touch anyone that allowed it, which most allowed it simply because of the youngest archangel's personality. Gabriel made it hard to hate him because he was so open and friendly.  
"No." Lucifer said softly. "Gabby likes it far too much."  
"That's what I was afraid of." The slimmer blonde said. "Father said that Gabriel told him everything and that it would take time before he would be ready to talk to us. Whatever it was it must have been horrible."  
"Why do you say that?" The Fallen asked.  
"I say that because our Father was holding back tears." Michael hissed. "The only other time I saw our Father shed a tear was when you were cast down."  
Lucifer turned his blue eyes from his mate to his younger brother. There was a time when Gabriel would talk to him about everything. Now it was a struggle just to make small talk with him despite their attempts to reconcile. Gabriel's death at his hands put a rift between the two of them that he wasn't certain on how to fix. It looked like he would just have to take it one day at a time. Shaking his head he took a step into the room only to stop at the tight grip on his arm.  
"What are you doing?" Michael asked, his voice hard, his mindset switching from Lucifer's mate to Gabriel's protector in less then a second.  
Lucifer gently touched the First Born's hand and stepped back to his side. "Relax Mike. The real reason I came here was to wake Gabby up. It's dinner time."  
Michael glanced from his mate to the youngest archangel before releasing him. "Let me wake him. I haven't really had the chance to talk to him."  
The Morningstar gave his mate a kiss. "Take your time. I still have to get everyone else. This was my first stop."  
With that Lucifer was gone leaving Michael alone. Steeling himself the First Born walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching up he ran his fingers through Gabriel's hair and he wished that there was more he could do. Running his hand down to the younger angel's arm, he took his shoulder and gave it a gentle shake, painfully aware of how fragile he still was. Gabriel gave a groan and shifted blinking blearily before his gold eyes landed on his older brother.  
"Michael? What's wrong?" Gabriel asked, reaching up to rub his eyes.  
"Nothing is wrong." The First Born replied. "I didn't really want to wake you but it's dinner time. Lucifer wants you to eat."  
Gabriel frowned. "I'm not really hungry."  
"I know you don't want to hear this but you do need to eat." Michael reminded him gently. "All I want is for you at least take a few bites."  
Gold eyes regarded him for a second before he nodded. "I'm really not hungry. I actually feel really nauseous. I can't promise you anything but I'll try to eat."  
That brought a smile to the taller blonde's face. "It's all I ask. Maybe later Dean will go out and get you some cookies or ice cream."  
The Trickster shook his head as he sat up in the bed, rubbing a hand over his face, the covers falling from his bare chest. "No. I'm okay. There's plenty of things here."  
Blue eyes stared hard at him for a minute until he realized the problem. "You know it's no trouble. Dean would be happy to do it for you. It's also not a waste of his time."  
Gabriel squirmed a bit and got out of the bed, dressed only in his jeans and socks, and went over to the dresser to get a shirt. Michael watched him go and his eyes took in how pale and thin his brother was. With his power partially bound it made some things very visible, like the six scars on his back that showed where his wings were. Michael suddenly tilted his head, noticing something strange between the scars. He stood and walked over to the smaller angel and gently touched the mark only to have Gabriel turn with a strangled noise, looking up at him with fear. Michael backed away slowly with his hands raised, fighting his anger down at seeing his once confident and strong brother reduced to nearly tears at a mere touch.  
"It's alright. I didn't mean to startle you." The Warrior said softly, hoping it would reassure him.  
Gabriel shook his head and roughly pulled his shirt on. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-"  
"It's fine Gabriel. I should have said something. It was my fault." The First Born said with a soft smile, hoping that it would help.  
The blonde nodded but he still looked quite startled. "It's okay. I'm okay."  
Michael stared at him for a few seconds before deciding to ask his question. "You don't have to answer me but...Do you know about that mark near your wings?"  
The taller didn't think it was possible but he watched as the Fourth Born grew paler at his words. "Y-Yeah. I know."  
"Do you know what it says?" The blue eyed angel asked softly.  
This time the Trickster could only nod, his eyes looking everywhere but at his brother.  
"Who did it?"  
"Someone I thought I could trust. Someone who wasn't supposed to hurt me." Came the shaky response. "It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago."  
"The pain must have been nearly unbearable." Michael stated, the area near their wings was almost painfully sensitive at best.  
Gabriel shook his head. "That pain was nothing compared to what else he was doing to me at the time. I would have preferred just the scar."  
There was a rustling and Lucifer appeared again, looking curiously between the two of them, no doubt sensing something happened between the two. "We're waiting on you. Do you feel up to eating?"  
"Not really but I'm going to try." Gabriel said with a weak smile.  
"Dad brought you something for your stomach just in case. He's waiting if you want to take some. How about we hit the kitchen first so you can have some?" Lucifer asked with a smile, holding out his hand to the smaller blonde.  
Gabriel nodded and hesitantly took Lucifer's outstretched hand and the two vanished. As soon as they were gone Michael turned and punched the wall, nearly destroying it. He tried to get his anger in check as quickly as he could but he knew that he'd most likely have to leave early and go back to heaven to let out his rage. Someone was going to die once he got his hands on them. Some had carved the word whore into his baby brother's back so bad that it scared. Oh yes, someone was going to feel the wrath of God's Warrior.

 

"So I was thinking that if we used a containment spell we could at least keep the worst radicals locked in hell." Crowley said, looking across the table. "It's the best case scenario that we can hope for at this point."  
Lucifer thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Use the strongest you can find. The less casualties the better. If we can keep the worst of the fighting contained to hell itself then we can keep human loss to a minimum at best."  
"In this situation is the best we can hope for mate." The demon said before his brown eyes traveled down the table to land on Gabriel. "Now for more pleasing topics. I'm glad to see that you're feeling better Gabriel. You're a lot prettier when you don't look like a fresh corpse."  
The whole room stilled at that. Lucifer's face went blank and he stiffened while Michael immediately went into protector mode, ready to pounce at the slightest thing. Castiel looked curiously from Crowley to Gabriel and Dean was a bit busy trying to scrape his jaw off the floor from shock. Chuck said nothing but instead sat back to watch patiently just incase he needed to intervene. Sam, however, was stiff with anger and his expression turned dark.  
Gabriel looked up a bit startled at being addressed before he seemed to understand what was being said to him. "Oh. Thanks. I think."  
"No thinking about it." Crowley said with a smile. "Did you like the rose? It came from the gardens at Château de Versailles."  
The blonde nodded, a light flush covering his cheeks as he looked down. "Yes. You left before I could thank you though."  
The demon gave him a smile. "No thanks required. I did it because I wanted to. I know how much you like flowers. I also know that while you like roses they aren't your favorite."  
Gabriel gave the Scotsman an odd look. "What makes you say that?"  
Crowley gave him a smirk. "Let's just say it's my job."  
Gabriel missed the dark look that Sam sent at the demon, to busy focusing on the King of Hell to notice anything else. "It's your job to know my favorite flower?"  
With a wave of his hand and strange looking red flower appeared in his hand and he held it out to Gabriel, who was sitting diagonal from him. "I make it my job to know all about everyone."  
The blonde startled and nearly jumped from his chair. "H-how?"  
"You mean how did I know that your favorite flower is the Gloriosa? Or should I say, the Flame Lily? For once it wasn't a trick." Crowley said, still holding the flower. "Lucifer mentioned it once while we were looking for you. He said during one of our meetings that he came across one and it made him a bit nostalgic. I got curious as to what it looked like so I went and had a look see. I managed to find out quite a bit. Like it's the national flower of Zimbabwe and the Queen of England has a diamond broach of one. I also know that it's used for suicide because of the colchicine in it."  
Lucifer reached out and took the flower and passed it to Gabriel. "I keep forgetting that they're toxic. Hard to believe that when they're so beautiful."  
The smaller blonde took the flower with a small smile. "I don't care that they're deadly. I just love the way they look. Thank you Crowley."  
The demon smiled. "You're welcome. Least I can do to make you smile."  
Gabriel stood and took the flower with him and headed for the kitchen. "I'm going to put it in some water and take it to my room. I'll be right back."  
Castiel frowned and stood quickly, following after his older brother. "I'll come too. I want to know more about the flower."  
Sam waited until both angels were gone before turning to glare at Crowley. "Do you mind?"  
"Not at all. Do you?" The demon asked, a smug grin on his face.  
"Stay away from Gabriel." Sam snapped.  
"On what grounds? Certainly not yours. Last check he is single. You broke up with him and sent him away." Crowley said. "That means he's fair game. Beside I don't see you doing anything to make him smile."  
The hunters seemed to fume for a moment before biting out a reply. "Gabriel is in no shape to be chased after by you. He hasn't even been clean for a week yet. He needs time to recover."  
"I know that. I'm just helping along the process. If I was really hitting on him, trust me you'd know it Moose. It doesn't hurt to at least let him know there are other options avaliable should he ever want to seek them out.." Crowley said wiping his mouth before standing. "Now as much as I hate to eat and run I have business matters that must be attended too. Thank you for having me. I'll stop back by after I've got all the spells in place. Ta."  
Sam looked down at his plate. He didn't want to admit that Crowley was right. As of this moment he had no claims to Gabriel at all. He had broken the archangel's heart and banished him. Sam could have called for Gabriel anytime after he had realized that he was wrong and the angel most likely would have forgiven him if Sam had offered to sit down and try to work things out.  
The youngest Winchester shoved his plate away and stood. There was only one thing he could do right now to make sure that he didn't have both Lucifer and Crowley standing against him for the angel's affections. He would win Gabriel back before Lucifer tried to renew their relationship or before Crowley tried to start that thought he left the dinning room and headed for Gabriel's room.  
Taking a calming breath he slowed down near the door. Inside the room he could hear Gabriel's almost excited voice as he told Castiel about his favorite flower. It made Sam pause because hearing the blonde speak now one wouldn't believe just how much he had gone through. Standing in the doorway he watched as Gabriel's gold eyes lit up as he finished talking about his flower. Upon seeing Sam, however, that light died and Gabriel seemed to shrink in on himself. Castiel looked between the two before bidding his brother a farewell and vanished leaving the two alone.  
Sam watched as the vase with the flower was set on his nightstand. "It's not bad. I can see why you like them."  
Gabriel nodded as he stared at the flower. "They're my first favorite. My second favorite can't be picked because they'd die."  
Silence fell and Sam took a deep breath. He was a hunter and he could do this. All he needed to do was pluck up the courage. It's not like he was fighting a clown again.  
"There was another reason I came here." Sam said softly.  
"I figured as much." Gabriel said, clutching his warming pillow tight to his chest. "I've been waiting for you to say or do something."  
Sam set his jaw and nodded. "Gabriel, we need to talk."


	8. Unorthodox Friendship

**Chapter 7: Unorthodox Friendship**

Gabriel wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, on a fallen stump, on the hill of the bunker. He did know that it was long enough that he had watched the stars fade from the sky and the sun had taken their place. Long enough that the dew had fallen and soaked his shirt and pants. He hadn't bothered to bring a jacket out here with him. All he had wanted to do was clear his head; his conversation with Sam and his nightmares banished the thought of sleep.  
After walking about the bunker four times, trying to read, practicing his latent battle skills, and watching a stupid criminal show, Gabriel realized that being in the bunker wasn't doing him any good. Instead he had decided to go for a short walk in hopes that the night air might clear his mind. He hadn't made it very far before he'd had to sit down and take a good long look at his problems. He knew it would take a while to get better. He also knew that in order to get better he was going to have to work on his relationships. So far his progress was limited to his Father.  
Other then God, however, Lucifer seemed to be openly trying to mend fences with him. Any other time he would have been thrilled to have Lucifer back in his life, both as a brother and a former lover. At this point however, it felt more like Lucifer was trying far too hard to get back into his good graces. Gabriel was certain that Lucifer meant well by fixing him all his favorite treats, and giving him his favorite books or movies to watch, but it was not what he needed right now. Lucifer was slowly smothering him under the constant attention when all he wanted was just to be allowed to figure things out for himself.  
Michael was no different either. The First Born was either trying to coddle him or trying to toughen him up with no middle ground. He was far worse when it came to trying to protect him too. Michael treated every little thing as if it was either a threat trying to kill him or a trigger that would send him back into his darkness. If anything the Warrior was worse then the Morningstar. At least with Lucifer he had some breathing room while Michael was like an oppressive black cloud. Even when he couldn't see the First Born, Gabriel could still feel him watching him. He wasn't glass that would break so easily.  
Castiel had also treated him much like glass after his ill fated suicide attempt. It hadn't taken much to get back on the younger angel's good side though. All he had to do was promise that he would not try and kill himself again. Castiel, in all his innocence, had been happy at his promise and began treating him as if nothing had happened. He didn't treat Gabriel any different then he had before the break up between Sam and himself. Gabriel was grateful for the normality from at least one member of his family, it made him feel better about himself.  
Dean hadn't done much either way. The hunter was content to let him do his own thing at his own pace. Gabriel was grateful but for that but it also came with little bonuses that showed him how much the elder Winchester actually cared. There was a bottle of whiskey that had appeared on his nightstand one night when he got too stressed with a note that said 'Just in case.' Not to mention how his beside table seemed to filled with just about every candy imaginable and didn't seem to dwindle no matter how much he ate. His favorite was a beautiful leather journal with a custom pen set that had appeared one day after Gabriel admitted that he had too much going on in his head at night making it hard to sleep. It made Gabriel realize that Castiel was lucky to have someone like Dean.  
With a sigh, that made Gabriel's thoughts turn to the last two people that seemed to the source of his turmoil. Sam and Crowley. The archangel had no clue what to do about either of them. On one hand he had Sam, a human who once loved him and was now asking for a second chance. On the other was Crowley, who was not only charming but he was powerful. Either of them would be a good mate but there were also the downsides to both of them. Sam didn't think he could be loyal and Crowley was the King of Hell, a demon. With a sigh Gabriel dropped his head in his hands and shivered. He was getting a headache from thinking about this so much.  
Something warm was laid over him and without thinking about it he pulled the warmth closer. It was almost burning hot but it felt good against his freezing skin. It made him wonder just how long he had been out here in the cold. Gabriel's brain caught up with the rest of him and he startled turning to look at whoever was now with him. He was met by the green eyes of Dean Winchester, who was holding his hands up with a smile.  
With a grin Dean pulled off his leather jacket and dropped it over the blanket to keep the heat in. "You know, you gave your older brothers and dad a scare. Whatever you're using to hide yourself is some pretty powerful mojo."  
Gabriel nodded. "After...After I realized that no one wanted me I used several different forms of warding to hide myself along with my pagan magic. If anyone came looking for me they'd be looking for an archangel. With my Grace hidden by the warding my magic only identifies me as a pagan god. Being Loki has served me well."  
"Yeah I get that." Dean said sitting next to him. "So what drove you to sit outside in your pajamas and slippers until your lips turned blue?"  
Gabriel frowned. "Are they really blue?"  
"Close to it." Dean confirmed. "I followed your tracks up here and then went back and had Cas warm up a blanket for you. I didn't tell anyone where you were. You looked like you were pretty deep in thought. Penny for your thoughts?"  
"In this day and age it's costs more then a penny." Gabriel said with a smile before he let out a sigh. "I was thinking about last night."  
"You mean about Sam and Crowley fighting over you like two dogs after a bone?" Dean asked. "Cause I wanted to punch them both last night. You've got more important things to worry about then them. You need to focus on getting better."  
"I wouldn't have stopped you if you had." Gabriel said softly. "I think they both deserve it for making my head spin. As if I didn't have enough to worry about trying to get rid the demons in my head."  
"That bad huh?" Dean asked putting an arm around the smaller's shoulders to make sure he was getting warm. "You can tell me to get lost if you want but what did Sam want with you last night?"  
Gabriel hesitated before snuggling closer to Dean, and the hunter allowed it, pulling him closer. "Sam was-is-jealous of Crowley's attentions towards me. Or anyone else who might have any romantic inclinations towards me. I actually regret telling Sam about myself and Lucifer. That was probably the worst thing I did."  
"Then why did you do it?" Dean asked.  
"Because he asked." Gabriel said softly. "I didn't see the harm in it then."  
Dean nodded. "I can understand that. What I meant was why did you tell him? Why didn't you lie to him or just brush it off?"  
"I've never lied to Sam since I asked him out. It goes against everything I am." The angel let out a sigh and his whole body shook. "Now I don't know what to do."  
"Well do you want to give Sam another shot? Or do you want to try with Crowley?" Dean asked rubbing his hands along the angel's arms in an effort to help him get warmer.  
There was a snort from the smaller man. "I'm surprised that you didn't add Lucifer to the list."  
"He told me about him and Michael. That they bonded. Seemed like a big deal to him so I figured that meant that Lucifer was off the table for potential boyfriends." Dean said with a chuckle. "Besides something tells me you like your men tall."  
Gabriel shook his head with a small smile. "Not really. Don't get me wrong, tall is nice, but when I'm with a guy I like them to have a certain forcefulness to them. Pretty sure you didn't care to know anything about my sex life."  
"Maybe not but I did get you to smile." The hunter said, his voice smug. "So I'll take it."  
The blonde chuckled. "I'll let you have it."  
"So what are you going to do?" Dean asked.  
"I honestly don't know. Sam is...Sam."  
"Pros: Sam is handsome. He's caring. He's tall. He's dependable and loyal." Dean pointed out.  
"He's also insanely jealous." Gabriel pointed out. "It's why we broke up."  
"Pros: Crowley is not bad looking. He's got an accent. He's romantic. He's the King of Hell."  
"He's a demon. It's technically not allowed."  
Dean stared at him for a minute before shrugging. "Alright. So you're boned then. Good to I go know. Should I find a shovel to help you dig your grave a little deeper or do you think you're doing just fine on your own?"  
"I'd rather have some one help me out of the grave before I do end up in it." Gabriel admitted. "I can't handle this Dean. I really can't. I'm not going to get better if I have to keep worrying about them fighting over me. I'm not-"  
Gabriel let out a frustrated noise and buried his face in his hands as he let out a sob. Dean felt a wave of panic surge through him. He did not do tears. The fact it was Gabriel crying just seemed to make it worse. Gabriel was a powerful archangel. Dean tightened his grip on the blonde and made soothing noises in hopes of calming him. It seemed to worked because his sobs seemed to be slowing. Soon the angel had composed himself enough that he pulled away from the human and began drying his tears with the sleeves of his pajamas.  
"I-I'm sorry. I just...I'm not some prize to win but I feel like they're both treating me like I am." Gabriel said in between sniffles. "I'm not even fit to take care of myself right now much less to try and have a relationship with anyone."  
"That's not true." Dean said, trying to comfort the archangel. "You're doing good."  
"I was addicted to drugs, drank myself unconscious, whored myself out to whoever wanted a piece of me, and tried to kill myself. I'm lucky if I can even get out of bed and dress myself without help." Gabriel admitted. "Right now you have no idea just how bad I want to go get my angel blade and start cutting just to give myself something else to focus on! I can't handle-"  
Gabriel was cut off when a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his face. Dean was forcing him to look at him. He only had a moment to stare into a pair of green eyes; eyes that were filled with worry and a slight amount of fear. Gabriel easily recognized the fear in those eyes having seen it many times during his long years on earth. Dean was afraid for him; scared that maybe Gabriel would try to end his life again and this time actually succeed.  
The archangel didn't get a chance to read anything else because at that point Dean pulled him close and softly brought their lips together. Golden eyes slid closed and he let out a whimper at the simple skin to skin contact. It was the most gentle and love filled kiss he had ever received. Dean's kiss wasn't about passion or lust. It was one of caring, a symbol of friendship and worry. There was love there too but it was the love of a close friend who was scared to loose him. Dean carefully pulled back and Gabriel opened his eyes once more; gold and green meeting.  
"I don't understand." Gabriel said softly, afraid to break whatever spell had seemingly been cast over them in the last few moments. "Why did you kiss me?"  
"To prove to you that there is someone who cares for you and wants to be around you for no other reason then begin your friend." Dean said. "So stop worrying about Sam and Crowley. Stop worrying about Michael and Lucifer. Worry about yourself. Right now you are the most important thing in your life and you need to focus on you. That kiss was just me showing you that if ever need anything, be it someone to talk to or just someone to cuddle up to then our door is always open to you Gabe. Cas and I are here whenever you need us, day or night."  
Hearing his younger brother's name seemed to snap Gabriel back to awareness, having realized what had just happened due to being so overwhelmed by Dean's odd offer of friendship. "Castiel is going to kill me for kissing you!" The angel hissed out in a low tone.  
"No I won't."  
Gabriel turned to find Castiel standing a few feet away, watching them with a happy expression, but the archangel was near panicking at having kissed his brother's boyfriend in front of him. "Castiel I can explain! This was-"  
"My idea." Castiel said, watching as his brother froze. "I gave Dean permission to do whatever it took to get you to realize that we are here for you. While his methods are quite unorthodox, I will admit, I am happy with the results. Anytime you need us we will be more then happy to help you. I want you to know that."  
Gabriel looked to the ground feeling the tears well up in his eyes. For the first time he could remember someone was offering him friendship and asking nothing in return. Dean and Castiel both were promising him more then they realized. He wasn't sure how to explain to them that all he ever wanted was one normal relationship with someone that wasn't based off of power or lust. Gabriel turned and buried his face into Dean's chest and let out a single sob before he stop himself. Dean just held him, letting him do whatever he needed to.  
"Thank you." Gabriel whispered before breaking out into a yawn.  
The hunter smiled. "Looks like the Trickster needs a nap."  
Castiel came over with a hand raised. "I'll stay with you while you rest."  
Gabriel nodded and felt Castiel touch him and his world faded away. Dean waited until Castiel assured him that the archangel was deep asleep before picking him up. To the hunter's surprise, the angel was a lot lighter then he thought. Still he carried the sleeping angel into the bunker. Lucifer's eyes went wide as he saw the bundle that was his younger brother but the hunter's glare kept him in place. Dean took Gabriel back to his room and laid the archangel down making sure to tuck him in and turn on his warming pillow. Castiel laid down with his brother and Dean watched as his boyfriend was chosen to be cuddled over the pillow, before smiling and leaving.  
Going back out to the library he was met by the worried stares from two archangels, a concerned brother, an irritated demon, and an uneasy father. This was not going to be easy but Dean was going to make them see exactly what they were doing. At least if they didn't listen he could shoot them.  
"Sam! Crowley! Lucifer! We need to talk." Dean snapped. "This has got to stop!"  
Confusion swept across all their faces but it didn't stop Dean's temper.  
"Do any of you realize what you are doing to him?! He just spent the entire night sitting outside, in the cold! Do you want to know why?"  
The three looked even more confused.  
Dean slammed his hands down on the table. "Listen to me. Gabriel is nowhere near healed enough for anything! What the three of you are doing? Fighting over him and treating him like he's some prize to be won! You all need to pull your heads out of your asses and stop being so selfish!"  
"Selfish?" Sam asked. "We aren't-"  
"Yes you are! Do you even know what you're doing to him?" Dean asked. "Instead of him focusing on trying to get better he has to focus on trying to figure out what you want from him!"  
"He shouldn't-"  
"No he shouldn't!" Dean said cutting Lucifer off. "The only thing that Gabe should be focusing on is getting better! Something he can't do when you are all acting like he's your new favorite toy! Right now he's as close to being human as he can get! That means he has feelings! Something that you are not taking into consideration!"  
"Listen Squirrel-"  
"No you listen!" Dean snapped, his hand twitching towards his gun. "He confessed that he is so confused and upset that he wanted nothing more then to grab a blade and start cutting again! Now tell me that is what you want for him! Look me in the eyes and tell me that what you are doing to him is what is best for him!"  
Lucifer looked down and shook his head. Crowley seemed unaffected but he did start shifting uncomfortably. Sam actually flushed and looked down. Michael seemed confused as to why Lucifer was being included in this but he wisely said nothing. As for Chuck, the deity seemed proud that Dean was standing up for Gabriel. Dean watched them for a moment before he stood straight once more.  
"This is going to be your first and last warning. Gabriel is not a prize or toy. He's a living, breathing being with feelings. Something that all of you seem to be forget while you're all trying to win him over. Right now he is broken! He can barely take care of himself much less able to try a relationship. The three of you need to get that through your heads! He needs to be left alone so he can heal! Right now the only person he needs to worry about is himself. Agreed?"  
There was a mumble from around the room and it set Dean's blood boiling again.  
"I asked if we agree!"  
"Agreed." Came the three voices.  
Dean nodded. "Good. Now that's taken care of doesn't everyone have something they should be doing right now?"  
Sam grabbed his laptop and left, heading for his room. Crowley didn't say anything but instead vanished, looking rather pensive about the previous conversation. Lucifer was stating at Dean, who was looking rather pleased about how it went. He watched as the human poured himself a drink and waited until Dean was seated before trying to ask his question.  
"Why was I included in your little intervention?" Lucifer asked.  
"I know you and Mike have that whole bond thing but Sam doesn't know that as he still sees you as a threat. If I didn't include you then Sam would have been suspicious." Dean said. "So I'm sorry for yelling at you but it had to be done."  
Lucifer shook his head. "No need. In fact I should be thanking you for doing this. Gabriel isn't your responsibility but you're acting more like a big brother to him then either Michael or myself."  
"Look. I get that you and Mike there think that being a big brother means protecting, which it does, but it also means that you have to let them do their own thing." Dean said. "Which is why he left. He needed space because you are both smothering him. Lucifer, if he wants something he will ask you for it. Mike, you need to ease up. Gabe doesn't need constant protection and all your hovering is doing is making him doubt himself even more. If you want him to get better you need to let him do his own thing."  
"But what if he-"  
"If Gabe needs us he will come to us. He asked us to help him." Dean reminded the First Born. "That means that if he needs one of us he will ask but he's not going to be able to do that if we don't leave him alone."  
"I can't believe you trust him after what he did." Michael said.  
"Damn straight I trust him." Dean said. "Me trusting him is why he was willing to talk to me. Maybe you should try it some time. Gabriel might just start trusting you again if you do."


	9. Songs, Dancing, and Gifts

**Chapter 8: Songs, Dancing, and Gifts**

Chuck pulled the heavy book from Gabriel's lap and closed it before setting it on the table. Reaching down he picked up the guitar case next to the chair and moved it to a safer location. Summoning a blanket he draped it carefully over his sleeping son while changing the chair to a more comfortable one. With a smile he moved away and onto Sam, removing the pen from his limp fingers and giving him a blanket and a new chair as well. Turning to the last man, God shook his head with a chuckle and pulled the bottle of whiskey away from Dean's cuddling embrace, before giving him the same as the other two. Stepping back he took in the sight of the three of them and with a wave produced high quality camera and took a quick picture.  
Smile growing, Chuck checked the picture and dismissed the camera. It wasn't the first one he had taken and it wouldn't be the last. They didn't know but he'd been taking pictures of them since he arrived. He took the pictures candidly and every single one was of a good memory. Like the first time that Michael actually tried his hand at cooking. He's just about filled the bunker with smoke and sent Dean into a fit of hysterical laughter as both both Sam and Lucifer tried to fix the problem and Castiel seemed confused by everything. Or the first time Lucifer had been given a piece of sour candy, courtesy of Crowley as revenge for an argument the day before.  
Today had been a day of progress for Gabriel. Something that Chuck was taking great care in recording. Despite the day ending with everyone being bushed due to a sudden problem, it had started out far better then he could have hoped for in a month's worth of healing for his youngest archangel. Needless to say when he walked into the kitchen at six that morning to start on breakfast he had been shocked to find Gabriel already up and making a pot of both coffee and tea. The angel had been listening to music so when Chuck had startled him the angel had reacted badly with a scream and a broken glass.

 

"It's alright Gabby." Chuck said gently rubbing his son's shaking hands. "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just coming in to make breakfast."  
Gabriel took a few deeps breaths before he was calm once more. "I shouldn't have had my music so loud."  
The deity frowned and looked over at the docking station where a music player could barely be heard. "I see we have a difference of opinion on what loud is. I can barely hear it." Chuck looked back to his son and gave him a smile, knowing what to do to make him happy. "Do you mind if we turn it up?"  
The smile that lit up the blonde's face could have powered a small city. Gabriel went over and turned up the music, something with a catchy beat, while God cleaned up the mess with a wave. That done he began gather what he needed for french toast. Gabriel came over and after a moment of hesitation, began to help, getting out things for omelettes and bacon. By the time they were deep into their cooking, Chuck couldn't stop his smile at hearing his youngest son singing softly along with every song that came on. He quickly snapped a picture just as the first person came into the kitchen.  
"Damn. Nice pipes Gabe." Dean said reaching for a cup. "I mean it. You can really sing."  
Gabriel flushed and hung his head, his jaw snapping shut.  
Dean noticed as he poured his coffee and almost dropped it when he realized that he was the reason the angel stopped. "Hey! Don't stop! That was amazing. I want to hear more. You can't hide a set of pipes like that. Come on!"  
Dean went over and began scrolling through the music before finding a song he liked. As the first rift came over the speakers the angel shot the hunter a dirty look but was soon singing along to the classic rock song. Dean was smiling non stop as was Gabriel and Chuck snapped another picture. Of course that was when Sam and Crowley showed up and the angel fell silent again, much to Dean's displeasure, and the hunter made sure they knew it too.  
"You two suck! Seriously suck! Gabe was giving me the most amazing show this morning and you stopped it!" Dean said glaring at the two before turning back to the angel. "Please don't stop! Ignore them. One has a stick up his ass and the other is a demon. They don't matter."  
It took much coaxing and a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows before Gabriel would even dare to open his mouth again. Of course Chuck took the opportunity to snap a picture of Dean's begging, Sam and Crowley's faces at being told they didn't matter, and the shock on both their faces as Gabriel belted out the first lyrics of the next song. Sam watched the angel with wide green eyes, love shining softly in them as the love song of a famous movie of a ghost and woman making a clay pot fell from his lips. Of course then Crowley made a choice in a song and of course it turned out to be the oddest choice. Who would have thought that demon's like being sung to about wonderful worlds?  
Sam was shocked at finding out just how well the angel could sing. He knew that Gabriel loved music, he was the one that had bought the angel the mp3 player that he was using now. The hunter wasn't aware that the angel could sing though. Gabriel had never even hinted at such a talent and it made Sam wonder why the angel never told him. Surely he wasn't ashamed of his talents considering that he was singing now but maybe, and Sam's heart clenched at the thought, maybe he had said or done something that made Gabriel feel like his talent wasn't something that Sam would like.  
"Have you always been able to sing like that?" Sam asked as one of the songs ended, hoping that maybe the angel would be willing to answer him.  
Gabriel flushed and turned back towards the food he was cooking. "Y-Yeah. I've always been able to sing. I used to sing all the time in heaven. The younger angels loved to hear me sing. I never really did it after I left unless I was alone."  
"Why not? You have an amazing voice." Sam said softly.  
The blonde let out a shuttering breath before he managed to whisper an answer. "Because it hurt too much. I didn't want to remember it."  
Sam swallowed hard before determination gripped him. "You don't ever need to be afraid to sing in front of us. You have a beautiful voice and I, for one, think that we're extremely lucky to hear you sing. You're amazing. Better then most musicians out there right now."  
Gabriel froze before slowly turning to look at Sam, wonder shining in his gold eyes. "You really think so?"  
"Yeah. I'll put a stereo in every room of the bunker if it means we can hear you sing again." Sam said with a smile.  
"I can't even remember the last time I heard him sing." Michael said as he, Lucifer, and Castiel appeared in the kitchen with everyone else, having finished their morning meeting in heaven.  
"I can." Lucifer said with a smirk as he poured himself a cup of tea and Michael a cup of coffee. "Remember? We were 'celebrating' one of his students."  
"Oh yeah." Michael said, watching as Castiel began to squirm, taking the offered drink from Lucifer. "Gabriel's little troublemaker."  
"In my defense how could you expect anything else with Gabriel as my mentor?" Castiel asked with a slight flush.  
"Singing isn't the only thing that Gabby has a knack for." Lucifer said. "He can also dance the pants off anyone."  
"Really?" Sam asked, hardly believing that the Fourth Born had another hidden talent.  
"Whoa! Like what kind of dancing are we talking about?" Dean asked curiously. "Ballroom? Tango? The Funky Chicken? Hokey Pokey?"  
Lucifer laughed. "You name it, he can do it. Our Baby Brother has always been the most artistically inclined out of all of us, be it music or dancing."  
Michael moved over to the music and after a moment he had an waltz playing on it. With a grin he walked over to his younger brother and held out his hand. Gabriel shook his head. Michael gave him a pout and a set of the cutest puppy dog eyes. With a half chuckle the blonde gave in and took his brother's hand. Michael beamed but then pouted as Gabriel quickly corrected his stance, much to the laughter of the others in the room. As soon as they were set they began.  
Sam's breath caught in his throat as he watched the two angels dance across the floor. It was almost as if they were gliding. Gabriel easily lead the dance, despite the fact that Michael was technically the one who was supposed to lead. As the dance was changed by Crowley, however, Gabriel spun his oldest brother out and Lucifer quickly replaced him and soon the two were involved in a very spirited tango that seemed to resonate just how close the two once were. Lucifer's moves were graceful and powerful but Gabriel was the one who everyone was focused on, with his sensual and precise control.  
To the see the smaller angel command such confidence while dancing was like watching a master at work. It made Sam think back to going out on dates with Gabriel where the angel would see dancing and he would look longingly at the dancers. Sam couldn't help but wonder how much the angel repressed of himself just to try and keep him happy. He even remembered that angel asking once what he thought of dancing and how he had blown the angel off with harsh, joking words. Just how bad had he hurt him by doing so?  
The dance ended and Lucifer backed off, watching as Gabriel leaned heavily on the counter, nearly doubled over. Everyone began to get worried as the angel began to shake but the sound of chuckles falling from the angel's lips sent a wave of relief through them. The chuckles soon dissolved into full blown laughter and tears streamed down his face. After a few moments Gabriel managed to compose himself and he stood with a big smile on his face.  
"I haven't danced in forever!" Gabriel exclaimed. "I didn't realize how much I missed it! Oh that was amazing. Did you really forget everything I taught you Mike? That was like dancing with a beginner. It's no wonder I had to lead!"  
The First Born flushed. "Dancing was never really my strongest point."  
"You'd think it would be considering the way you dance across the battlefield!" Gabriel said, laughter still coming from him. "How you can be so graceful while fighting and yet be so clumsy when dancing? It shouldn't be legal!"  
"At least my form was good." Lucifer said smugly. "I do remember what you taught me because until Michael, I actually liked dancing."  
"Yeah! Your form was good alright! For a wooden board!" Gabriel said. "You were far too stiff Luci. I can see that I need to teach you how to relax again. I'm surprised you didn't fall over with how uptight you were."  
Castiel, who had been watching with wide eyes, came over to his older brother with a pleading look on his face. "Gabriel?"  
"Yeah Cassie?" Gabriel asked, eyeing him.  
"Can you teach me to do that? It looked like so much fun." Castiel asked softly.  
"I would love to teach you Cassie. I'll have you dancing like a pro in no time." Gabriel said.  
Castiel hugged his brother and rushed over to his boyfriend. "Gabriel said he would teach me so next time he goes out I can go dancing with him."  
Dean watched the dark haired angel as he seemed so happy and he sighed and looked past him to the blonde. "You have room for another one?"  
"The more the merrier!" Gabriel said watching as Castiel's excitement grew at having his boyfriend learning to dance with him.  
Chuck began handing out the plates of food and as he came to Gabriel, he gave his son a smile; he now had a good number of pictures of his sons dancing and laughing. "I'm proud of you Gabby."  
The blonde flushed. "I didn't-"  
"You faced your fears and pain and not only sang but danced as well." God said softly, standing in front of the angel to keep their conversation private. "What just happened? You singing and dancing? That was a big step for you wasn't it?"  
Gabriel nodded. "I never told them that I could sing or dance. I did try to ask Sam once but...He told me dancing was stupid and a waste of time. I didn't want to risk him knowing that I could dance so I never brought it up again. There was no point."  
"Well now that your brothers are here I want you to try going out dancing again." Chuck said softly. "Once you feel better."  
Gabriel gave him a shy smile. "I'd like that."  
There was the sound of a phone and Crowley stood. "Seems something's come up."  
"What has?" Lucifer asked.  
"Not sure yet. Keep your phone close. I'll go take a look. Hopefully nothing important." Crowley said before vanishing.  
Lucifer pulled a red cell phone from his pocket, a joke by Crowley, and turned it on and turned the volume up. "Guess that just canceled my plans."  
"What plans?" Dean asked.  
"Evil ones." Lucifer said with a laugh, watching as the hunter made a face at the implication. "That will never get old."  
Michael ate his food quickly while watching Gabriel talk to their father. His younger brother seemed more relaxed since he began singing and had danced. Even now he was still slightly relaxed and smiling but that shadow was still in his eyes. It hurt Michael to see that shadow there. If only there was something that he could do or give him to-Michael stood abruptly, startling his mate who turned to look at him strangely.  
"Michael?" Lucifer asked. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing. I just remembered something. Gabriel I have a gift for you. Wait here okay?" Michael said, his eyes shining and showing more emotion then anyone had ever seen. "I'll be right back."  
With that the First Born was gone leaving everyone confused.  
"What just happened?" Gabriel asked softly. "Did I do something?"  
"No." Castiel said. "Michael said he had something for you. I don't know what it could be. He was with us in meetings all night last night."  
"Don't look at me." Lucifer said. "He didn't tell me anything."  
There was a rustling from outside the room and Michael poked his head around the corner. Lucifer frowned and tilted his head before getting up. He cleaned off the table where he was eating and lead their younger brother over to it and sat him down. Once that was done Lucifer placed his hand's over the Fourth Born's eyes. Michael beamed and came in carrying a guitar case. He carefully sat it in front of Gabriel and turned it so the youngest would be able to open it.  
"Okay. I didn't ever think this day would come but I have something for you Gabby." Michael said taking the younger's hands and placing them on the case.  
"Leather?" Gabriel guessed running his hands along the top. "Hard. A case for something?"  
Michael nodded and Lucifer removed his hands. Michael watched as those gold eyes lit up, the shadow banished for the moment as he took in the sight of the case. The wonder that filled his younger brother's face let him know he made the right choice.  
"Do you like it?" Michael asked softly.  
"You... It's a guitar case. You got me a guitar?" Gabriel asked softly.  
Michael shook his head. "I didn't get you just any guitar Gabby. I know you Little One. Open it."  
Gabriel frowned and Lucifer helped him flick open the locks on the case. With a shaking hand the smaller blonde lifted the lid. He let out a sound that was a mix of a sob and a laugh as he took in the sight of the instrument in the case. It was an acoustic guitar that was pale in color with dark sides and clearly very expensive. It was in nice condition but there was the normal wear and tear that spoke of an instrument that was clearly well loved and treasured.  
Gabriel reached out and gently touched the edge of the guitar before looking up at Michael with tears in his eyes. "How?"  
Michael gave him a sad smile. "After you left... I would go visit your area a lot. I don't know what happened but I was there one day and Raphael came in. He was angry and began tearing though the rooms looking for it saying that you deserved it. I confronted him before he could find it and he played everything off and left. I didn't want to take any chances so I took it with me when I left and sealed your area so no one else could get in. I've kept it this whole time."  
Gabriel was suddenly around the table and hugging his older brother tightly, crying into his jacket. "Raphael said he destroyed it. He showed me the pieces. He said you gave it to him because-"  
Michael hugged his brother tight, cutting him off. "I would never do that Gabby. I know how much she means to you. I would never have done that to you." Michael kissed the top of Gabriel's head and listened to his brother sniffle. "Now you have her back. I bet she's begging for your touch again. Maybe once you get her some new strings and tune her up you can make her sing for us again."  
Gabriel nodded. "I don't know how to thank you Michael. I never thought I'd see her again."  
"Don't thank me Gabby. I don't need it. I just want you to be happy again. If having Rosie back means seeing you smile then trust me, I would have broken every rule to get her back for you." Michael assured him. "Your thank you to me is that smile that I miss seeing on your face."  
There was the sound of a catchy obnoxious pop song and everyone turned to look at Lucifer who was glaring at the red phone in his hands. "Crowley needs to know if we have any information on a demon by the name of Uvall. Seems like he's one of the ring leaders and is stirring up trouble." Lucifer said before passing the phone to Sam. "Please make it stop making that infernal sound."  
Michael wanted to go to his mate but he kept a tight hold on Gabriel instead. "You're going to meet with Crowley, aren't you?"  
Lucifer nodded. "Yes. Make sure your garrison is ready just in case. I'll send word if I need you."  
"I'll help Sam and Dean find out what they can." Gabriel said. "I don't mind."  
"I'll go with Lucifer." Castiel said. "I can act as the go between."  
"Agreed." Chuck said. "Be careful please."  
"Always Dad." Lucifer said before he, Michael, and Castiel vanished, leaving Gabriel and the two hunters to go do research.

 

Chuck smiled at the three and with a wave of his hand, lowered the lights to an acceptable level before he needed to go check on his other children. He knew the three of them would be okay but just in case he cast a spell to make sure they would have good dreams. Seeing Gabriel shift he summoned the warming pillow and turned it on, laying against his chest where it immediately cuddled. Satisfied that his mortal charges would be safe for the night he decided to head to hell first, wanting to make sure that his eldest sons were safe.


	10. Accidents and Choices

**Chapter 9: Accidents and Choices**

The last of the notes faded away into the air and Dean couldn't help but let out a whistle, making Gabriel flush. "Dude you are friggin' amazing!"  
Gabriel carefully sat his guitar in it's case, wiping it down before closing it. "I haven't played in years. Not since I thought I lost her."  
"What do you call her again?" Dean asked, eyeing the case as it was locked.  
"Rosie but I didn't name her that until after everything happened. She was a gift from one of the first angels I ever trained. A healer like myself." Gabriel said, his voice soft. "She was very talented and strong. She could have been my heir to the title of Healer."  
"What happened?" Dean asked, picking up on the sorrow the angel was putting off.  
"She was killed tending the wounded during Lucifer's Fall. She was under my orders to save as many as she could. Two of Michael's angel's either didn't listen or didn't care. They thought she was a traitor for tending both sides. I found her after they were done with her." The angel whispered. "Michael was with me. He told them that she was under orders and they apologized to him."  
The hunter read the underlying 'but not to me'. "How did you take it?"  
Gabriel shook his head. "I let my rage consume me. I ended both of them before Michael could even think to stop me. No one messed with my healers after that. Michael was furious with me. I told him it was easier to train killers then it was to train healers. Anyone can take a life but it take someone special to put your own at risk to save someone else. That was the last time we talked to each other as brothers before the Fall. I left after we came to blows."  
"Damn." Dean muttered, he wanted to ask more but seeing the pain in those gold eyes changed his mind. "I still can't believe you can play 'Paint It Black' much less sing it. And that Pink Floyd! I mean just damn!"  
"Thanks. I wasn't sure how well I'd sound. I haven't played since before the fall of Rome." Gabriel said, a small smile blooming. "It feels better then I thought it would. I expected it to hurt."  
Dean gave him a smile. "See? I think you're getting better."  
"Me too." The blonde admitted. "It's just taking forever."  
"Dude it's only been two months. You need to relax and let it happen." The hunter said. "If you try and push it you're going to slow yourself down."  
The angel stood and stretched a bit. "I'll be right back. I'm thirsty."  
Gabriel quickly ducked out of the room making Dean frown. The angel's haste was explained when Sam stepped into the frame of the door, watching as the blonde left. Sam frowned as he watched Gabriel leave. Dean sighed, knowing that since being brought to the bunker, Gabriel had actively avoided trying to be alone with Sam, which had driven his brother crazy. While Sam wanted to just talk it seemed, to Dean anyway, that the archangel was more afraid of Sam then he was of anyone else.  
Sam turned to look in the room and noticed the case on the floor. "Was that...Was Gabe playing and singing just then?"  
"Yeah. I know right?!" Dean said as he stood. "He's got some talent."  
Sam nodded and sighed. "He won't talk to me."  
"Can you blame him? The last time you two actively talked you called him a whore, accused him of cheating, and then threw him out." Dean said watching his brother flinch. "I wouldn't want to talk to you either."  
"Dean I want...I am sorry for that. I really am." Sam said. "I really am."  
"I'm not the one who you need to apologize too Sammy." Dean reminded him. "Gabe needs time. Maybe once he starts feeling a bit more like himself he'll be more willing to hear you out."  
"Or he'll just run to Crowley or Lucifer." The younger man spat bitterly.  
"And just who's fault is that Sammy?" Dean snapped. "Gabe tried talking to you. He tried explaining things to you. Hell, we both tried to stop you from doing something you'd regret. Even Cas told you point blank that you screwed up. Did you listen then? No! It took God himself to get you to pull your head out of your ass to see just how much of a douche bag you were being to someone who didn't deserve it!"  
Sam flushed and looked down. "I want to apologize to him and make things right Dean. I really do. How am I supposed to do it if he won't let me though?"  
Dean opened his mouth to reply but the sound of breaking glass cut him off. Sam's head whipped up and they looked at each other before rushing to the kitchen. Gabriel was kneeling next to the counter holding his wrist tightly, a broken glass and blood on the floor near the sink. A towel was by the pile of broken glass along with a trail of blood leading to the archangel. It looked like the blonde had tried to clean up the mess but had cut himself while doing so.  
Sam grabbed a clean towel and knelt down in front of Gabriel and pressed it to the angel's left hand. "Gabe?"  
"Get it up. Please. I can't...I want to-" The angel choked up, his eyes clenched tightly shut.  
Dean grabbed a dust pan and quickly cleaned up the glass and threw it away. He understood that Gabriel, even though the injury wasn't planned, was now fighting the urge to make another cut. Sam checked the wound, a three inch cut going from the heel of his palm to the center of his hand. The cut wasn't very deep but it was long and bleeding quite a bit. Sam wrapped the towel a bit tighter around the blonde's hand drawing a hiss from him even as the angel began to relax now that the temptation was no longer there.  
"Glass is gone. Do you want to move somewhere else?" Dean asked, not knowing if just being in the area was hindering him.  
Gabriel shook his head and he drew in shaky breaths to keep himself calm.  
"Dean go get the kit. I'll wait here." Sam said, waiting until his brother nodded before turning back to the angel. "What happened?"  
"Stupid wet glass. I dropped it. I was going to clean it but I...I wasn't trying to... It was an accident...Lucifer is going to be so mad at me." Gabriel whispered, his voice breaking.  
"Gabe it was an accident. You didn't mean to do this." Sam reassured the angel. "Trust me. Lucifer will be more upset you got hurt on our watch then anything. This doesn't look too bad so I don't think you'll need stitches though."  
Gabriel nodded and finally opened his eyes looking down at the rag pressed tight to his hand. "Thank you. You...You can go if you want. Dean'll be right back."  
Sam frowned. "It's okay. I don't mind."  
The angel flushed and looked away. "It's fine. Really. I'm sure you have better things to do. I'll be okay alone for a few minutes."  
"Did you ever think that maybe I want to stay?" Sam asked, his voice tight.  
"Why would you waste your time with me?"  
Sam took a deep breath; this was his chance. "Gabriel I know we talked the other night but there was a lot that I didn't say then. One of the things that I didn't say was an apology to you."  
Gold eyes flicked up to look at him, curiosity and worry dancing in them. "Okay. I'm sorry for-"  
Sam shook his head. "Gabe. The apology isn't supposed to be from you. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who is supposed to be apologizing to you."  
"Me?" The blonde asked, his confusion growing. "Why? I haven't done anything that-"  
"I was an asshole Gabe. What I said to you that night was both unfair and cruel. I never should have accused you of cheating on me. I know that you would never cheat. I'm also sorry that I called you a whore. Those words should never have been said. I should never have hurt you like that."  
Gabriel shook his head. "You can't hurt me with it if it's the truth."  
Sam stilled. "You...You don't believe that do you? That you're a whore?"  
The angel let out a sigh. "It's the truth. You weren't the first person to call me that. I have a scar to prove it. Besides...You saw me. I was at a brothel and then I was in an alley offering myself up to anyone that wanted me. Isn't that was a whore does?"  
Sam let out a sigh. "Gabriel I was wrong. I was angry and I regretted those words ever since I said them. By the time I realized just how badly I screwed up it was already to late to try and find you. I know you don't want to be around me right now and I can understand that. I can only hope that maybe someday we can work past what happened that night."  
"Why?" Gabriel asked softly.  
"Because even though I know I don't deserve it I would love to have another chance with you." Sam admitted. "I'm sorry that I ended what we had. I'm sorry that I broke your heart and drove you away. I even sorry that you felt the need to prove my words true. You are not and never will be a whore. You are an amazing person that deserves someone who treats you like the angel you are be it me, or...Or Lucifer or even Crowley. I just want to see you smile again Gabe. I miss you."  
"Found it!" Dean said, making them both jump. "Okay let's get you fixed up before we have an angry devil breathing down our necks."  
Gabriel flushed and looked away while Sam nervously ducked his head. Dean paused and took in the sight of the two. They were both nervous and it made him wonder just what he had walked in on. Hopefully they got some of what they need to worked out. It didn't mean he couldn't tease them.  
"Did I miss something?"

 

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair as he let out a hiss. His hand still hurt from earlier but it felt better then it did before his nap. He was certain that one of his brothers had stopped in and seen his hand and did a little sneaky light healing but without taking off the bandage he had no proof. Glancing at the clock he was happy to see that this was his shortest nap yet. Proof his damaged body was getting better. At least one thing was healing. He was getting tired of feeling like everyday was a dreary day in his head.  
Looking towards the kitchen he could hear the others as dinner was being made. He wanted nothing more then to go in there and join them but he knew that it wouldn't change his mood. He'd walk in and put on a smile. Everyone would be happy that'd he be there. There would be jokes, laughter, and stories. It would be what he lived for! Gabriel knew that he'd still walk in and feel like it would all be a lie. He couldn't be happy. His smile would be fake, his laughter fake; it made him feel like he didn't belong even though it was his family.  
Turning away from the kitchen he headed to the library. There were all kinds of books from research to novels. It made for a good selection to pick from. Walking in he noticed the papers scattered all over the table. It looked like Lucifer and Michael were using the bunker as a battle station again. It wasn't the first time they had done and probably wouldn't be the last. It happened whenever things from hell boiled over onto earth, something which both the archangels hated with a passion.  
Going over to the table Gabriel shook his head at the mess. Papers and plans were strode everywhere with no organization at all. It was easy to tell that it was Michael's mess; Lucifer was far more organized. At that thought Gabriel wondered what it was like for them if the two were living together. Lucifer was a massive neat freak; he must abhor Michael's messes. He could barely stand it when Lucifer began organizing his things and Gabriel's things were always organized.  
With a chuckle Gabriel began moving away when a buried paper caught his eye. It was a scrap of heavier parchment that was used by crossroads demons meaning Crowley must have brought it. There was Lucifian script on it baring a threat of 'I'm still looking' and a half visible symbol. Frowning he reached out carefully pulled the paper out from under the others until it was fully revealed. The archangel felt his blood run cold as he recognized the symbol.  
Gabriel reached up and pulled the right sleeve of his shirt up revealing the inside of his bicep. The angel slowly ran his pagan magic over the area. A raised symbol appeared on his skin and turned to a dark blue, almost navy in color; the exact same symbol on the paper. Why would his brothers or even Crowley have this symbol? How could they possibly even know about it? That symbol should only exist on his skin and no where else.  
"Gabriel?"  
The blonde turned, startling at the sudden voice, his sleeve falling to fully cover his arm once more. "What? Sending a search party for me already Lucifer? I've only been up for fifteen minutes." He joked, hoping the elder wouldn't pick up on his distress.  
Lucifer let out a snort. "Not hardly. I came to clean up this mess before we decided eat. I thought you were still asleep."  
"Nope. Woke up early and decided to come for a book." Gabriel said turning to look over the mess. "Can't help it if this disaster caught my eye. What is all this?"  
"The rabble rouser Uvall has somehow managed to get around the spells Crowley and I set up." Lucifer said. "He decided to taunt us about it as well. He left us a nice little note that makes no sense."  
"Makes no sense to you, maybe. I've spent most of my time as a Trickster." Gabriel said. "What was the taunt?"  
"'I still have my orders. I'm still looking. I will fulfill my orders.' Like we're supposed to know what that means." Lucifer said. "It's just posturing and threats."  
"Or orders from a previous master." Gabriel said moving away and over to the books to hide the fear he was sure was clear on his face. "Maybe there was an order given that supersedes the death of the demon's last general."  
Lucifer was silent and Gabriel let out a startled scream that echoed through the bunker as he was suddenly enveloped in bear hug. Lucifer swung him around and kissed his cheek while praising him and calling him a genius. Gabriel, however, felt like he was going to be sick at the sudden motion on his fragile body. Luckily it was Sam who came to his rescue, his screams having brought everyone to the library, stopping Lucifer and pulling him from the Devil's embrace while he willed himself to not throw up all over the floor. As Sam rubbed his back Lucifer explained what the Fourth Born had told him and he heard Michael praising him while at the same cursing Lucifer's stupidity.  
Once his stomach was mostly settled Gabriel turned to Sam. "Can I be excused from dinner due to Lucifer's lack of brain cells? I feel sick and want to go lay back down."  
Sam nodded. "You sure? You know how Chuck feels about you skipping meals."  
Gabriel shook his head. "I don't think even Dad's potion is going to help this time but I'll take something to put me to sleep."  
Sam turned to look at Michael and the First Born seemed to hesitate before he summoned a small, single dose vial of blue liquid. "Just this once Gabby okay? If Lucifer hadn't been so excited then this wouldn't have happened. Do you want me to come with you so you can lay down?"  
Gabriel shook his head and held his hand out for the vial. Michael frowned but handed it over anyway. The smaller blonde smiled and then frowned. He walked over to the bookcase and took a quick look before settling on a book. He held the cover up so they could see. Hearing the laughter at his choice of Willy Wonka he turned away with a smile and headed back to his room.

 

Gabriel finished trying up his boots and checked his things. Angel blade? Check. Archangel blade? Check. Holy water? Double check. Everything he need was in his head. Pulling on his jacket he double checked his pockets to make sure he had what he needed. Reaching out he grabbed the last thing, the matching cuff for the one around his wrist. Taking a deep breath he slid the other cuff on, staggering as his Grace was completely locked away.  
Happy that was done he pulled the sleeve of his jacket back down and slowly opened the door to his room. Listening he could hear the sounds of Lucifer and Michael in Lucifer's room. Grinning he crept out and down the hall. He was nearly to the main hall when he slid to a halt. He ducked into an empty room and held his breath. Outside he could hear Dean and Castiel whispering to each other before their footsteps faded away. Letting out the breath he was holding he slipped out and continued on.  
Gabriel slid to a halt just outside the main hall. Just his damn luck. Sam was sitting at the table with his laptop. The way the hunter was sitting there was no possible way that he would be able to slip by him unnoticed. He was either going to have to use his pagan magic and alert his brothers to what he was doing or he was going to have to resort to drastic measures. It was not something that he wanted to do but at this point Gabriel realized he didn't have a choice.  
Taking a moment Gabriel glanced around and found one of the boys guns that had been left out. Picking up the heavy metal Gabriel slowly crept towards the hunter. Closing he eyes he steeled himself and brought the butt of the gun down on the hunter's head hard. Sam didn't know what hit him. He slumped forward onto the table and Gabriel winced. He dropped the gun to the floor and leaned down and placed a kissed on Sam's cheek as he grabbed the paper that had the symbol on it and shoved it in his pocket. He ran a hand through Sam's hair and kissed him one last time.  
"I'm sorry Sam. I hope you can forgive me. Looks like we might not get the second chance you wanted." Gabriel whispered. "Maybe in another life we can try again."  
Making sure Sam would be okay Gabriel rushed up the steps, knowing that he was short on time. Any minute now any of his brothers or Dean could come in and find Sam unconscious. He had to be long gone before they found out. Rushing up the stairs Gabriel paused and looked back at Sam, his heart breaking at leaving him for a second time. Turning back the angel let out a startled gasp as he came face to face with his father.  
"Leaving so soon Gabriel?" Chuck asked, his voice soft but cold.  
Gabriel felt tears fill his eyes. "Dad...You know why I have to do this."  
"This is going to end very badly for you Gabriel." Chuck said. "You are going to end up in so much pain."  
"Pain or not I have to do this." Gabriel stressed. "You know why I have to do this. You saw the paper. You know what's happening Dad. Michael said that we've lost sixteen angels. I can't let any more die. Not when I can do something!"  
Chuck nodded. "You understand that this could kill you right?"  
"Yeah it could." Gabriel agreed. "There is also a chance I could come out on top."  
Chuck stared hard at his youngest archangel before he sighed. He pulled Gabriel into a hug and held him close for a minute before releasing him. As he pulled away Chuck waved his hand and he did the only thing he for his son; he gave Gabriel the angel sword the Fourth Born had once used in battle. Gabriel's gold eyes went wide as he took in the sight of the shining silver sword in it's black leather scabbard. He took it with shaking hands and fastened the sword around his waist before gracing his dad with a shy smile. Chuck turned away and looked down at Sam before turning back.  
"You'll have two hours before they'll realize something is wrong. Crowley will take you anywhere you need to go. My only request is that you return to me please." Chuck said softly as the demon appeared behind Gabriel. "Not just for me but for your family here as well."  
Gabriel nodded. "I can't make that promise but I will try. And Dad?"  
Chuck turned to look at the blonde as he stepped back and into Crowley's waiting embrace.  
"Thanks. For everything." Gabriel whispered. "Just in case."  
Chuck nodded and watched as they vanished. Turning back to the room he looked down at Sam and made sure the hunter wouldn't be hurting too bad when he woke. After all, he would need them to save help save Gabriel from his bad choices.


	11. Xaphanel

**Chapter 10: Xaphanel**

Crowley watched from behind a broken down car as Gabriel removed the second Sigil Cuff from around his wrist. He winced as the angel's power lashed out, breaking windows and sending things flying. Once he was sure it was clear he stepped up to the blonde, dusting off his suit. He hadn't believed the angel when he said his Grace was unstable but after seeing the ground spilt apart from nothing but a surge made him realize just how powerful the small angel was.  
"You weren't joking about your power being unstable were you?" Crowley asked watching as the angel slipped the cuff into his jacket pocket.  
"Wish I had been." Gabriel said. "I don't like not being at full strength."  
"You know this is suicide right?" The demon asked.  
"Yeah. I know. Just like I know this thing won't stop until it carries out it's orders." Gabriel said, pulling out his angel blade. "And it won't stop at just angels. Pretty soon it'll start tearing it's way through everyone and thing looking for it's target."  
Brown eyes regarded the smaller man before he broke into a smirk. "This thing is looking for you isn't it?"  
The blonde nodded. "It's name isn't Uvall. Uvall is a ritual demon. One that only cares for gold and sex. He's not bad for demon even if he hates dark chocolate. This thing isn't...It's not really a demon. I mean it is but it was created by an angel."  
Crowley froze. "You're joking right? That's just a legend. A myth! A...A...A bogey man for angels and demons!"  
Gabriel turned and stared at him, his gold eyes burning with a mix of humor and something dark. "Is he really? Do you have proof he isn't real?"  
The Scotsman scoffed. "Do you have proof he's real?"  
The angel stripped out of his jacket and pulled his sleeve up. He ran his fingers over his pale skin and Crowley watched as the mark appeared. He stepped closer and without thinking grabbed the angel's arm and ran his finger over the mark, his eyes taking in every detail. The skin was raised but it was ice cold compared the rest of the angel's nearly burning warm skin. A shuddering breath drew his attention and he realized what he was doing as let go.  
"So it's real. How do we kill it?" Crowley asked with a huff. "You wouldn't have come out here without a plan right?"  
Gabriel didn't say anything but just replaced his jacket as he looked around.  
Crowley let out a frustrated noise. "Wonderful. Either you don't know how or we can't kill it. You're no better then those two functional morons back at the bunker. So what? You plan on talking it to death? Maybe you can use your depression and talk it into offing itself!"  
The blonde suddenly turned back to look at him from where he was looking at the abandoned shipyard. "Were you talking? I thought that was a bug. So you are sure this is the place?"  
The Hell King let out a scoff. "No, I brought you here for an ice cream party."  
"Good. Hope they have caramel." Gabriel said gripping his blade tighter before striding off between two of the large containers.  
With a growl Crowley stalked after the angel. For only being at half power and in horrible shape the blonde had a confidence level that was far bigger then his small vessel and his ego just about matched. Crowley watched as the angel carefully checked containers and even some of the abandoned ships. It was clear the angel was looking for something specific but whatever it was, the angel didn't tell him. He wasn't even sure why he was still here. Seeing the angel wince as he stood it reminded him exactly why he was here; he was protecting his boss' injured kid brother.  
"There. He'll be in there." Gabriel said coming to a sudden stop, taking in the large partially caved in warehouse that was sitting partially over the water.  
"What makes you so sure? There are four other identical buildings!" Crowley snapped. "How can you be so sure that's the right building?"  
Gabriel heaved a sigh and grabbed the demon's chin turned his head so he was looking at the far end of the warehouse were there was barely visible warding on the outside. "Maybe because of that."  
Crowley made a face and pulled out of the angel's grip. "Are you always so pushy?"  
The blonde shook his head and moved forward, blade drawn and read for anything. Knowing it was best not be caught with his pants down he pulled out his own blade and followed. They reached the door with no surprises, which the demon thought was highly unusual. Any respectable demon would have had guards and traps or at least a couple hellhounds. Gabriel looked around at the caved in door and into the darkness beyond and shook his head.  
"This is a trap. A very elaborate trap but a trap." Gabriel said poking at a piece of metal with his blade. "Now is the part where you have to listen to me or we both die. If I say run then you run. Harness your inner coward. Once you're safe then wait fifteen minutes to make sure you aren't being followed and then head back to the bunker."  
"No problems there mate but your big brother will kill me if I leave you alone." Crowley reminded him. "I like living."  
"So do I. I've died once and I won't do it again just because you won't fucking listen. If I say run then do us both a favor and get the fuck out." Gabriel snapped.  
The Scotsman eyed the angel for a moment and realized that he was being completely serious and nodded. "Scouts honor. You say run and I skedaddle."  
Gabriel nodded and moved inside the building slowly. He stepped over the metal and the demon followed making sure to step only where the angel stepped. Once fully inside they had only taken a few steps when torches and braziers burst into flame. Gabriel scoffed at the trick but his eyes scanned the area hard. Taking another step he felt something odd and looked down. With a gasp he turned and shoved Crowley hard, sending the demon backwards before he flung himself the other way just as a wall of holy fire erupted between them.  
Gabriel picked himself up with a glare, taking in the rest of the floor, realizing that the trick had been just that; a trick meant to distract. "Damn it. Holy oil and a devil's trap. He didn't take any chances did he? Crowley don't come any closer or you'll get stuck too."  
The demon picked himself up and dusted himself off before looking around seeing. "You okay?"  
"I'm pissed off and a bit singed but I'll live. He must have known the chances of a demon showing up were high." Gabriel said looking around. "He's here somewhere. He's like me. Watching as the mice play in the trap."  
"Well how about you get out of there then mouse? Let's go get your brothers and the Winchesters." Crowley said. "Before you end up deep fried."  
{He's not going anywhere are you Jibril?}  
Gabriel's blades were in his hand in a second. "Where are you?!"  
{Just what have you done to yourself Little Angel? Such a sweet agony I can smell on you. How delicious you must taste.}  
Gabriel's golden gaze swept the warehouse but there was nothing that he could see. "Stop playing and come out. It's me you wanted isn't it? That's why you sent out your symbol and the taunts! You were just using them as a way to get to me!"  
{Is that any way to greet an old friend, Jibril? Friends should miss each other. Here we shared such good times together. They were almost magical. Why not greet me properly and then I might be more willing come out and say hi?}  
"Xaphanel!"  
A wisp of smoke spread out from behind one of the braziers. There was a chuckle and out stepped a tall man with dirty blonde hair and blue-green eyes. Gabriel couldn't stop the feeling of anxiousness that he got in his chest. The man looked so familiar and it wasn't until he stepped further into the light that Gabriel knew why. The man looked like a mixture of Sam and Lucifer. There was no doubt in his mind that what he was seeing was nothing more then an illusion but the malice that he saw on the face was something that haunted his dreams. The hatred from both Lucifer and Sam. Shaking his head he put his blades away and instead unsheathed his sword.  
Blue-green eyes tracked the movement and the smile turned sinister. {Really Jibril? After all this time this is how you greet me? With malice?}  
"Stick your slimy neck out here for me and I'll show you how much I missed you." Gabriel growled out. "Besides, you haven't met my sword yet."  
{Actually I already have. It's a very nice weapon.} The smile turned to a smirk. {Oh! You meant the one you're holding and not the one in your pants. My mistake. I would love another chance to see it in action once more.}  
"Bite me!" Gabriel snapped.  
{With pleasure.}  
The man was gone in a puff of smoke. Gabriel tensed but there was nothing he could do as the man reappeared behind him. One hand gripped his sword hand while the other went to his injured hand. Gabriel startled a bit at the long dark violet tail that snaked it's way up his hip, curled around his back, and trailed up his arm before finally wrapping tightly around his hand. He couldn't stop the scream as his hand was tightly squeezed, the bones grinding together, making him give up his sword. That tail caught it and it was flung behind him. It made no sound and Gabriel wondered if maybe Xaphanel had just impaled Crowley with it.  
{Your pain is so beautiful Jibril. How I wish I could keep you in such a state of ecstasy just for my own personal pleasure.} A long, thin, slimy purple and cream colored tongue slid it's way along Gabriel's neck, pulling a sound of disgust from the angel before blue green eyes landed on the bandaged hand. {What's this? You've gone and hurt yourself Little Angel! You should really learn to be more careful. Don't you know that there are creatures, both in this world and in others, that would take advantage of such an injury?}  
The tongue disappeared from his neck and Gabriel turned, not surprised to see Xaphanel's true form. It was purple and smoothed skinned but there were no eyes, just a rounded skull until it came to the skeletal nose resting above a mouth full of jagged teeth that were covered with a thick black saliva. Thought he couldn't see the rest he was sure that the creature's chest was still bare leading to a thin stomach and narrow, almost skeletal waist that would be covered by a thick black leather studded loin clothe. It's long inverted legs would be bare and end in the long clawed toes.  
The long tongue slid back out of Xaphanel's mouth and up to his wrist. Gabriel shuddered as that tongue slid under the bandage and ripped it clean off. The area around the cut was gently prodded and it drew a hiss from Gabriel. He cursed himself for not asking for one of his brothers or his father to heal it.  
Xanphanel leaned in close and took a deep sniff of the cut. {You're making my mouth water.} Black saliva dripped from his mouth to hit the floor and sizzle. {It's been so long since I've gotten to taste a proper angel. Those ones that came after me were mere imitation appetizers compared to you.}  
"I am not your damn dinner!" Gabriel snapped struggling to get free. "Get off me you sick freak!"  
The demon tightened his grip on the squirming angel. {Freak? Is that any way to talk to someone who took such good care of you? I made sure that you felt my every caress and kiss. I brought you such pleasure and pain that you lost yourself to me. You even begged me for more.}  
"None of which I ever wanted! Your master was a sick, twisted bastard!" Gabriel said pulling hard to try and free his hand. "He was a monster and I'm glad he's dead! He deserved it!"  
{Maybe so but I still have my orders. I am to bring you pain and pleasure while feeding myself.} The tongue began trailing along the still healing cut. {Luck is in your favor Little Angel. With all those other angels and demons that I ate it seems that I'm not as hungry as I would normally be. It looks like we'll get to play for a good long while this time Jibril. I can't wait for us to start.}  
Gabriel screamed and cursed as Xaphanel slid his tongue into the cut on his hand. It was all the blonde could do not to thrash, he didn't want to make the cut worse. He could feel the demon's tongue sliding about in the cut before it slowly slid deeper. Gabriel's screaming only increased as that tongue began sliding around under his skin, licking at muscles and tendons while sliding along veins. With a sudden hum Xaphanel pulled back, making slurping sounds as if Gabriel was the most delicious thing that the demon had ever tasted.  
The archangel suddenly found himself on the ground clutching at his bleeding hand and the demon let out a yowl of pain. Crowley, who was still outside of the circle of fire and devil's trap, was looking quite shocked at himself. Gabriel's sword was shining brightly in his hands and splattered with neon blue blood. On the floor just outside the fire, part of Xaphane's tail was on the floor twitching violently before finally falling still against the concrete. It looked like when the demon's tail had swung by Crowley, he had taken his chance to help Gabriel the only way he could. The King of Hell had swung the sword, hacking off a good chunk of purple tail.  
Xaphanel let out a hiss, spitting out black saliva at the demon. Crowley swallowed nervously, eyeing the demon as he took a step back. Gabriel managed to roll away and get to his feet, pulling out his angel blade. Xaphanel seemed torn, he wanted to go after the one who dared injure him but he also didn't want Gabriel to get away either. His orders came first but losing part of his tail was a personal insult. He took a step towards Crowley, his claws clicking lightly against the concrete.  
There was a whistling sound and Xaphanel barely managed to catch the angel blade that was thrown at his back with what was left of his tail. {First your pet and now you? Do you want me to destroy you both Jibril?}  
"Crowley! Run! Take my sword and get back to the bunker!" Gabriel shouted, pulling out his archangel blade. "Let my brothers know how to find me!"  
Crowley took a step back and Xaphanel turned his sightless face back to the King of Hell. {Come now; Crowley wasn't it? Are you sure you want to leave us so soon? I am feeling generous and I am willing to share. I'll even let you have a taste. You haven't lived until you've dined on angel Grace. He is delicious in more ways then one.}  
"That's disgusting." Crowley muttered as he backed away. "Gabriel are you sure-"  
"GO!" The blonde yelled. "Get out of here!"  
Crowley took another step back but paused when he noticed that Xaphanel had mimicked his step. He took another and the creature followed his step. He looked past the demon to Gabriel and realized that the angel had also noticed it. Gabriel suddenly flipped his blade around in his hand. The Hell King felt a knot in his stomach. Surely the angel wasn't stupid enough to do what he thought he was going to do was he?  
"Hey Xaph? Aren't you hungry?" Gabriel asked, drawing the demon's attention.  
{Don't tempt me too badly Little Angel. I have to take care of your friend first. You'll keep.} The demon said his attention fully on the King of Hell.  
Gabriel lifted his archangel blade a made a single shallow cut along his neck making Grace spill out. "Whoops. How clumsy of me."  
Xaphanel's nose flared, opening wide. His sightless head whipped around and fixed on Gabriel, who was slowly backing away towards the far end of the warehouse. Crowley couldn't believe it. An angel was risking itself to make sure that he, a demon, got away to safety. He'd never had anyone risk themselves for him like that. He gripped the sword tighter and held it close. He would get out of here and bring back the other two archangels, Castiel, and the Winchesters.  
Crowley ducked out of the warehouse just in time. Inside he could hear Gabriel fighting Xaphanel and it sounded like the angel was losing. Remembering what the blonde had said about waiting, he crept around to the side of the warehouse. It was easy enough to find a loose enough sheet of metal and bend it down enough to see. Looking inside he was sorry he did.  
Xaphanel had Gabriel pinned against one of the metal support beams. The demon was easily holding both the angel's hands in place with one hand. The other was fisted into those blonde locks, pulling the angel's head painfully to the side, giving the purple demon full access to the cut that Gabriel had made. Gabriel was gritting his teeth tightly together in an effort not to scream as that stripped tongue violated that angel's wound.  
What was most disturbing was what Xaphanel was doing while feeding on the angel. His loin clothe had been shoved to the side and the demon was rutting against Gabriel. Luckily enough Gabriel was still clothed and the demon was leaving streaks of sticky bright blue across the angel's shirt and jacket. Crowley didn't know what was worse for the blonde, being turning into dinner or being used as a demon's personal jack off toy.  
Just like that though the demon let out a sound that was a mix between a hiss and a growl and gave a last thrust before the angel's front was splattered in sticky, bright blue. Gabriel let out a sob and Xaphanel's tongue slipped from the wound on his neck. The demon released the archangel and Gabriel hit the ground hard, a painful noise escaping him. Xaphanel's remaining tail came up and wrapped around Gabriel's throat, pulling the angel back to his feet and then up to eye level leaving his feet to dangle a good three feet from the ground. Gabriel choked and clawed at the tail as his lips turned blue, making the demon laugh.  
{Now that your friend has run off I have you all to myself.} That stripped tongue flicked out and caressed Gabriel's cheek. {I think I might just keep you Jibril. You're so much fun to play with. I'll be right back my dear. I want to get a few more toys to play with.}  
Xaphanel released the blonde and he fell to the ground again, coughing and gagging. With a grin the demon vanished from sight leaving the angel alone. Crowley fought to stay where he was; he couldn't help Gabriel because of the devil's trap. From what he could see Gabriel was still in one piece and the sooner he got back to the bunker the better. Gabriel needed all the help he could get. Standing and turning away Crowley stifled a shock noise as he nearly ran right into Xaphanel.  
{Oh good. I was hoping you hadn't left yet.} The demon said with a smile as he grabbed the Scotsman by the front of his jacket and began dragging him along. {You see I have a little task for you Crowley. You are going to deliver a message to those so called 'brothers' of my toy. I don't care if they know that I have Jibril. While I'm making sure you memorize the message I'm also going to make sure you pay for your little stunt with my tail. Lucky for you it grows back or else I'd be cutting off something of equal value of yours.}


	12. Rescue Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to get this chapter done just in time for my birthday! Have a great day! ~ Noxy

**Chapter 11: Rescue Plan**

Lucifer chuckled as he and Michael walked down the hall together. It was rare that the two of them got to spend quality time together anymore what with hell's civil war going on. Between needing to run hell and running heaven it left them both with very little free time. Most they could get would be an hour or two of stolen time before need to return to their respective realms. The bunker was the only place where they were able to spend more then just meeting time together. It was their ground zero for everything that tended to happen. The fact that they had a room they shared here just made it better.  
Dean had told them when they first started showing up that they should treat the bunker as home and they was pretty much what it had become to the two of them. It was another reason why they both loved the bunker. Since most of heaven were still unwelcoming of him and Michael made his demons nervous to the point of panicking, the bunker had become the only place where they could be happy and not worry about their relationship. Sure only their father and Castiel, and now Dean, knew about it but them but it was still nice having a room to themselves where no one would barge in unannounced.  
"I'm just saying Luc, that maybe once this war is over, why don't we ask Dean and Sam if we can move in permanently?" Michael asked, pulling his mate's hand up to kiss the back of it. "As much as I love heaven I know you don't feel comfortable there anymore. Same goes for me and being in hell. I just want us to be happy. If it means staying here then I'm ready."  
"I get that Mike but do you really want to impose ourselves on Sam and Dean for the rest of their lives?" Lucifer asked with a smile. "You said yourself that you only liked them in small doses. What about a house?"  
"I would love a to have a real house with you but we both know that the bunker is the safest place for us Luc." The First Born reminded him gently. "From here we can even help train new hunters and Men of Letters. I think we can be a big help."  
The Second Born nodded thinking it over before Michael grabbed him and pinned him against the wall despite having a slimmer body. "Mike!" The Devil hissed. "Do you want someone to see us?"  
The Warrior chuckled and gave him a gentle kiss. "No one here cares that God's Warrior is mated to His Morningstar. It's one of the perks of living here. No one cares that we love each other. You want to know another perk? If we stay here we can help Gabby get better. You could spend more time with him."  
Lucifer froze and looked at his mate questioningly. While they never really talked much about it Michael seemed to understand just how much Gabriel meant to him as both a brother and and ex-lover. He tried to explain it to his mate several times but every single time Michael had just kissed him and said that what happened between the two of them was none of his business. Truthfully he wasn't sure why his mate was so supportive.  
"Mike...Why do you care so much? I told you that nothing will happen and-"  
Michael leaned in and kissed his mate hard before pulling back. "I'm not stupid Luc. I know that deep down in your heart, some part of you still loves him. I also know that the same thing goes for him. I know that Gabriel makes you happy in a way that I can't. While I don't understand why he makes you so happy, I do understand that you both need each other. More then you know. I'm not like your vessel. I am not going to let jealousy come between us. You and Gabby have something special Luc. Something that was there long before I asked you to be my mate. What right do I, mate or not, have to try and deny you both that happiness?"  
Lucifer gave his mate a smile and a quick kiss. "Thank you Michael. That means more to me then you know."  
"I know." The First Born said as he pulled away. "Now I do believe that we were going to talk to Sam then?"  
Shaking his head the Fallen let out a sigh and began walking towards the library again, hoping that his vessel hadn't gone to bed yet. "You just don't give up do you?"  
"When it comes to you I don't." Michael said with a grin that only showed up when they were alone and he felt playful.  
"Fine. Let's just hope-" Lucifer froze as he stepped into the library.  
Sam was sitting at the table, slumped over in a rather unnatural position. His blue eyes took in the the unconscious hunter and the shining gun that was discarded on the floor. Someone had attacked Sam and knocked him out. He rushed over and gently ran his fingers into the human's hair, wincing as he felt the blood and rather large knot on his head. As he began to gently heal the wound he was aware of Michael leaving, hopefully to fetch Dean and Castiel. Once the wound was healed he began to gently wake the hunter.  
Sam gave a groan and his green eyes fluttered open. "What happened?"  
"Are you alright? Does anything else hurt?" Lucifer asked.  
Sam seemed confused by the question as Michael reappeared. "I don't think so. I have a slight headache but it's not bad."  
Lucifer reached up and healed him a bit more. "Is that better?"  
"Yeah. What's going on?"  
"Someone knocked you out." Michael stated. "We came to ask you a question and we found you slumped over. There's a gun on the floor next to you so we guess that's what was used to do it."  
Sam took in everyone's worried faces. "Who would want to knock me out?"  
"I don't know." Lucifer admitted.  
"Dude it's not like just anyone can get in here." Dean said. "We'd know if someone broke in. Want me to look around?"  
"I'll do it Dean." Castiel offered. "I can search faster then you can. Stay here and see if Sam can remember anything else."  
Dean nodded. "Just be careful Cas."  
"I will." Castiel nodded and was gone.  
Dean turned back to his brother who, while healed, still had the look of someone who had gotten his clock cleaned. "Okay Sammy. I know you aren't feeling to well even with Lucifer's help but we need to figure out what happened. What's the last thing you remember doing?"  
The younger hunter thought it over. "You and Cas asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I told you I didn't want to because I wanted to do some more research on Uvall. I thought I had seen the symbol Crowley brought us somewhere before. I started looking it up and a few minutes later I heard someone behind me. I thought maybe it was Cas coming back to try and convince me to spend some time with him and Dean. I remember hearing someone walking up behind me and then there was pain. That's the last thing I remember."  
"That was over two hours ago Sam." Dean said. "You mean to tell me someone knocked you out over two hours ago and none of us even realized it?"  
There was a fluttering sound and Castiel appeared looking a bit winded and more then upset. "There is both good news and bad news I'm afraid."  
"Don't keep us in suspense Cas!" Dean snapped. "What'd you find?"  
"The bunker is secure. No one has broken in." Castiel said. "The attacker had to have already been in here."  
"And the bad news?" Michael asked, fearing the answer.  
"I had a feeling something was wrong so I went to check on Gabriel." Castiel admitted. "I went to his room and he's not there. The sleeping vial was sitting on his table and it hasn't been opened. His duffle is still here but his jacket and both blades are missing. He also took a silver knife, a small gun, and a bottle of holy water. The second Sigil Cuff is also missing."  
"Gone? Why would Gabriel leave?" Michael asked in disbelief.  
"I don't know." The younger angel replied with a shake of his head.  
Lucifer let out a curse that made everyone jump. "Before dinner...I found Gabriel in here looking over the things from the meeting. He was looking over the symbol and told me about it remember? When I first walked in he was staring at the paper and was touching his arm. He looked almost scared. If I didn't know any better I'd say that Gabriel had seen it before."  
Sam turned and began going through the papers by his computer, frantically tearing through them before he looked back at the group. "It's gone! The note from Uvall. I had next to my computer but it's not here!"  
Dean held up a hand. "Let's just wait a minute. Are we actually suggesting that Gabriel, who is no condition to be wandering around, knocked out Sam, stole the paper, a gun, and some holy water, and then left?"  
Sam seemed a bit upset but nodded. "Do you have another explanation Dean?"  
"Maybe he went for a walk and wanted to make sure he was properly protected." Dean argued.  
"And when he left he just felt the need to knock my vessel out?" Lucifer asked. "No he planned this. He's a tactician."  
"Gabriel asked for the potion to make us think he'd be asleep so we wouldn't feel the need to check on him. He waited until he was sure we were all busy then tried to leave. I'm sure when he saw that Sam was still up he felt like he had no other choice but to knock Sam out to leave because he knew we feel it if he used his magic or Grace." Michael said. "He knew exactly what he was doing."  
"Damn it!" Dean said kicked a chair.  
"How do we find him?" Sam asked. "I mean he can't have gone far right? He's wearing that cuff so his power is bound right?"  
"That's the thing about Sigil Cuffs, Sam." Michael explained. "Only the person who put them on can take them off. Gabriel could take it off at anytime he wanted. He can still use his Grace even if it is unstable. He could be anywhere."  
"Is there anyway we can find him? Or summon him?" Dean asked, still fuming.  
"Just because you summon an angel it doesn't mean they have to answer." Castiel said. "You should know that."  
"Great so now we have a missing angel who is in no condition to be fighting out there running around chasing after a demon!" The hunter said. "This sucks!"  
"What about Chuck?" Sam asked, desperate for a way to find the blonde.  
"Whatever warding Gabriel is using to hide is still in place. I don't think Dad has found a way to get around it or else he would have said something." Michael said.  
"Let's ask him anyway." Sam said. "We have to find Gabe. Who knows what will happen to him out there."  
"Don't forget that even with his power partially bound he is still an archangel. Gabriel can level cities should he choose to do so." Lucifer reminded the human."  
"Dad's not answering." Michael said, confusion on his face. "I don't understand."  
"Maybe Chuck is with him." Dean said hopefully.  
"I don't think so." Michael said. "I can feel him in heaven. Gabriel swore he would never return so I doubt he'd go there even with our Dad."  
"So what do we do?" Sam asked softly. "We can't just sit here waiting for something to happen. There has to be something. A spell or a way to track him."  
"We've tried every spell we have looking for him before Sam." Michael reminded him. "There's nothing we can do."  
"Where was the last place where there was activity from Uvall?" Castiel asked looking over some of Sam's papers. "If there is a set pattern that Uvall is following then we might be able to figure out where he might be hiding now. Crowley said that he's been favoring buildings near water. Large abandoned ones mostly."  
Lucifer went over and pulled out a map and sat it on the table next to Sam's laptop. "Here. This is the last place. The week before he was here."  
Sam looked over the map. "There's fifty miles between the two places."  
Lucifer nodded. "I think it was the same with the last place too."  
Dean came over and picked up a pen and began measuring. "If he goes fifty miles then we measure fifty and look around and see what's around that area."  
"I don't see anything with water." Lucifer said.  
"There." Michael said pointing. "Just below it. It's outside the fifty mark but there's water. It's a small town too. It fits the profile."  
"Think that could be it?" Dean asked.  
"Looks like it." Sam said looking at his laptop. "Looks like there's an old shipyard there. Mostly abandoned when the shipping company moved. It's large too. Like over half a mile of shipyard."  
"This place have a name?" Dean asked.  
"New Moon Ship Yard."  
The five looked up at the sound of Crowley's voice only to jump at the sight of him. One of the demon's brown eyes were swollen shut and his face was bruised and bloodied. His jacket and suit coat were missing and his shirt was torn. It took everyone a moment to realize that Crowley's shirt was damp, not with water, but with blood, and it was dripping onto the floor. In his hand was a shining sliver sword, the metal scared horribly. Crowley stumbled and dropped the sword on the table before falling forward and catching himself on the table.  
Lucifer and Michael rushed to help him, moving Crowley to a chair. Lucifer began pulling the Scotsman's shirt off him and Castiel sat a bucket next to him. Lucifer dropped the shirt into the bucket and began running his hands over the demon's bloody body, healing what he could. There was the sound of footsteps and Dean and Sam were at his side helping wipe the blood off so Lucifer could see the injuries better.  
The demon's body was covered in small deep cuts and there was evidence of holy water burns along his arms. A gentle press revealed broken ribs and a few internal injuries but they were quickly healed. Castiel passed the Hell King a glass of scotch and he took it with a nod of thanks, knocking the whole thing back in one go. It only took a few more minutes and the demon was healed.  
"Thanks for that mate. Wasn't sure I was going to make it back." Crowley said tiredly.  
"What the hell happened?" Lucifer asked. "Was there a battle?"  
"Yes and no. I stuck my neck out on the line for someone and this is what I got for protecting him." Crowley said softly.  
"Where did you get this sword?" Michael asked picking up the blade and reading what was on it.  
"Gabriel. He tired sneaking out and Chuck caught him in the act. I got roped into helping the mouse out. Chuck gave him the sword and his blessing before we went on our merry way." The Scotsman said. "Turns out that Uvall isn't really Uvall. It's name is Xaphanel. He was created by an angel. Gabriel knew him. The two have a history. Gabriel has the same symbol we found on his arm. He went to go face him down and it got nasty pretty quick."  
"And you?" Michael asked.  
"I was trying to get him off of Gabriel and Xaphanel didn't like it. Gabriel tried to distract him and told me to run so I could get you. I just didn't get away in time. He did this to me before letting me go with a message for you." Crowley said hanging his head. "I'm sorry."  
"What was the message?" Lucifer asked. "And what about Gabriel?"  
"The mouse was still in one piece last I saw him. He's got quite the fighting spirit."  
"What was the message?!"  
"Luc." Michael called softly.  
Lucifer turned to his mate. Michael was looking at the sword with a grim expression. The First Born flipped the sword over and held it out for the other to see. Carved into the mirrored surface were words, something that was almost impossible to due because of what angel weapons were made of. Lucifer read over the words before standing to get a closer look.  
"I don't understand." He said, taking the blade. "Why would he say this? It doesn't make any sense. None at all."  
"Gabriel said it himself didn't he?" Michael bit out. "He told you point blank. Orders from a pervious general that supercede death."  
"Damn it!" Lucifer said throwing the sword onto the table.  
Michael shook his head and picked up the sword again. "Looks like I right wasn't I?"  
"Right about what?" Dean asked.  
"About some else abusing Gabriel. I accused Raphael of doing it." Michael said. "Seems like I was just proven right."  
"Why? What does the sword say?" Sam asked.  
Michael lifted it once more and Castiel frowned as he read the words. "'Raphael's orders shall be followed.' This demon is going after Gabriel on Raphael's orders?"  
"Seems like it." Michael said, setting the sword back down.  
"You need to hurry." Crowley said. "This thing feeds on Grace. When I left it was not only having a nice little snack but also using the mouse as a way to rub one out. We need to get back and make sure it doesn't go further then that since I'm not there for that thing to play with anymore."  
Sam and Dean nodded and rushed from the room to go get their gear. Crowley stood, swaying heavily and it brought Castiel to his side. The demon brushed him off and snapped himself up a new shirt and pulled it one. Once he was dressed he picked up Gabriel sword once more.  
"I didn't want to say anything in front of the moose but this thing...It all but straight out said that it had raped Gabriel before. If this thing is acting on Raphael's orders then you understand what that means right?"  
Michael nodded. "Yeah. Raphael is a traitor to heaven."  
"And possibly a rapist too." Crowley said.  
Sam and Dean came back in the room with their jackets and armed to the teeth. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to waste anymore time. There's no telling what that thing is doing to Gabriel right now."


	13. Out of the Fire

**Chapter 12: Out of the Fire**

Gabriel laid on his side, trying to keep his breathing normal so his pain was at a minimum. He had broken ribs but thankfully no internal injuries, mostly from being thrown into the corners of the metal shipping crates. His jeans were almost falling off due to a decent swipe from Xaphanel's claws; he was just glad his boxers had been spared due to his quick thinking even if it had led to him spraining his knee to the point that it could no longer bare his weight. The claw marks on his hip weren't the only ones, he also had one set on his shoulder and another two sets across his chest.  
At least he had put up a good fight. His archangel blade was the first thing he lost; it was sitting in the holy fire, the metal glowing red hot. That was followed by his angel blade getting broken, the blade portion was only sitting a few feet from him but still too far to reach in his current condition. After losing both his angelic weapons he had unloaded a clip of silver bullets into Xaphanel, making the demon howl in pain. The demon had retaliated by ripping the gun from his grasp and flinging it outside the holy fire.  
Being down three weapons made his next choice easy and that was when he pulled out the silver knife and stabbed the purple abomination once in the shoulder and then broke the top part of the blade off in it's leg. That had earned him a bad burn to his already bleeding hand when Xaphanel had held his hand in the fire until he dropped what was left of the knife. After that the thing had left, but not before taking and crushing his container of holy water under a shipping container.  
A rough cough escaped his lips and Gabriel wondered just how long it had been. Two or three hours at least since he had arrived. He hoped that Crowley had made it back to the bunker but he also knew that Xaphanel had gone after him after his quick 'fuck and suck'. There was probably a good chance that Crowley was dead and if the Scotsman was dead then he would be soon too. Gabriel let out a bitter chuckle, after everything he'd done over the past year and this would be how it ended. At the hands of Raphael's attack dog.  
Gabriel took another slow breath and wished that he could see Sam one last time. Or, even better, had kissed him one last time. Something to remember the man by, instead of Xaphanel's disgusting touch. Worse case scenario, he would take off his cuff and make sure to use his Grace as it lashed out to take that abomination with him as he lost control. He would go down like a warrior; maybe he could make Michael proud.  
The sound of footsteps made him tense. A swift kick was delivered to his stomach making Gabriel gag in pain. A clawed hand fisted into his blue stained jacket and flipped him onto his back, making sure to slam his head onto the concrete as he did so. Gabriel let out a whine and Xaphanel dropped down on top of him, settling between his spread legs and grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head before he could even think to fight.  
{What's wrong? You look like like you're in mourning. I haven't killed you yet.} Xaphanel said, his foul breath ghosting across the angel's cheek, the human illusion in place once more.  
"Why don't you just kill me and be done with it? You know that's what you want!" Gabriel snapped as he wiggled around trying to get free.  
{It's not what I wanted, it's what your brother, my Master, wanted. Raphael is dead. I have more room to play now. I might just keep you. Like a pet.} Xaphanel said with a laugh.  
"Sorry but I'm not housebroken and don't take orders very well." Gabriel said with a snarl.  
{Everyone has a breaking point, Jibril, it's just a matter of finding the right cracks to press on. Don't forget that I've been in you in more ways then one. That pretty little head of yours isn't safe from me either. Given what I can taste on you now that pretty little head of yours is just begging me to dive right in.} Xaphanel said, one of his hands coming to touch the blonde's face.  
The scream that Gabriel let out at the demon's touch shattered the remaining glass in the windows of the warehouse. It felt like there was a fiery poker being driven into his head via his eyes. He couldn't stop Xaphanel from raping his mind, digging up things that he didn't want to remember, lingering on the things that caused him the most pain. His falling out with his brothers, being abused by Raphael without Lucifer being there to protect him, Sam's begging him to bring Dean back to life, being confronted by the Winchesters about his true identity, his death at the Fallen's hand, and finally his fight and breakup with Sam. Everything was brought to the front of his mind sending pain spiraling through him, both physical and emotional.  
The hand was suddenly gone and with it the pain leaving Gabriel a sobbing mess. {Delicious. Just when I thought you couldn't taste any better. Your pain tastes divine.}  
Gabriel shook, his body trembling uncontrollably from the pain of having the demon claw through his mind like it was paper. "You're disgusting."  
{And you're beautiful.} The demon taunted. {I do believe, Little Angel, that I have kep you waiting for me long enough, don't you agree? Are you ready for the real fun to begin? We have so much lost time to make up for.}  
Gabriel glared up at the demon with hatred in his gold eyes. With a snarl he spit right in the demon's face. Xaphanel let out a growl and he reached up and grabbed the archangel's chin in a bruising grasp. Gabriel tussled, trying to break free as those claws bit into his jaw, forcing his mouth open. Xahpanel let out a grin before that striped tongue slid from his mouth. The demon took great enjoyment in sliding his cold, slimy tongue around the angel's warm mouth, licking everywhere it could reach before sliding deeper.  
The angel gagged at the intrusion but it didn't matter as that tongue kept sliding deep into his mouth and down the back of his throat. Gabriel's body bucked uncontrollably as it tried to dislodge whatever was blocking is airway. Tears filled his eyes as the blonde's vision began to darken from lack of air. A loud crash and surge of Grace made Xaphanel jerk and the tongue disappeared, as did the hand, leaving Gabriel to cough and gag as he tried to breath once more. Gabriel's heart soared in his chest; someone had come for him.  
"Gabriel!" Came a strong and confident voice.  
Gabriel jerked, turning to look at the voice he knew so well. "Michael!"  
Xaphanel's hand suddenly fisted in his hair, stopping him from looking at his eldest brother. {Did I say you could move pet? Who did you beg to come rescue you anyway?}  
"Let Gabriel go Xaphanel!" Came the commanding tone once more. "Gabriel are you okay?"  
The blonde glared up at the demon, who gave him a smirk and nodded in return, letting Gabriel know that speaking to his brother would be allowed and he wouldn't be harmed for it. "I'm banged up but I'll live Michael."  
That blended face turned from Gabriel, then to the First Born, blue-green eyes widening in first shock, then amusement as he connected the dots. {Michael? Not THE Michael? God's Warrior? Another archangel! How delightful! Tell me Michael, do you taste as good as Jibril?}  
"Michael watch out for his tail-"  
The fist in Gabriel's hair tightened and smashed his head into the ground hard enough to daze him. {Silence your tongue, Jibril, or I shall silence it for you. You had your turn playing with me. Be a good little whore and learn to share.}  
"Gabby!" Came a second voice, like one a bit deeper but just as confident as the first.  
Xaphanel got off of the dazed Fourth Born and took in the sight of the much buffer blonde standing next to Michael. {And yet another archangel? Who are you?}  
"Lucifer." The Devil snarled. "Keep your hands off my baby brother."  
{Lucifer? The Morningstar? God's favored son? Oh this is too good to be true. Seem likes the object of your first nightmares has arrived Jibril. Why didn't you think to tell me that I would be meeting the legendary Michael and Lucifer? I feel very underdressed.} Xaphanel called over his shoulder.  
Gabriel, slowing coming out of his dazed state, rolled over and onto his stomach lifting his head to glare at the demon. "Like I'd tell you anything, Freak."  
The false face twisted into a snarl. {Freak am I? Says the little whore who is willing to let himself be buggered silly by anyone or anything that offers.}  
"Let Gabriel go!" Lucifer snapped.  
Xaphanel tilted his head, looking almost confused. {Why would I do that?}  
"Because we said so asshole!" Dean said cocking his gun.  
{What's this? You've brought two humans with you as well?} The demon looked at the two before suddenly turning back to Gabriel and grabbing his already injured hand and twisting it up behind his back pulling a sharp cry from the angel. {Would these two be the humans you've come to care so much about? The Winchesters?}  
"Yeah. That'd be us." Sam said, taking careful aim but not wanting to risk taking a shot with the demon being so close to the angel. "Now let Gabe go before we shoot you!"  
Xaphanel's illusionary smile grew and he tightened his grip on Gabriel pulling a hiss from him. {Tell me then, which one of you is Sam?}  
"Don't say anything Sam!" Gabriel shouted before crying out in pain as his arm was twisted further and it neared it's breaking point.  
{You're not being nice Jibril. All I want to do is meet the one who brought such delicious pain into your heart. If he truly cares anything for you then he'll answer me and save you some pain.} Xaphanel said. {If not then I get another tasty treat.}  
Gabriel gritted his teeth against the pain. "Sam don't!"  
Xaphanel grinned and began twisting Gabriel's arm further making the angel cry out in pain. Sam held his breath, trying to obey the blonde's command. A quick glance over at the first two archangels showed that they were both more then ready to inflict some pain on the created demon but the holy fire was keeping them from trying anything. Crowley was hanging back with Gabriel's sword, along with Castiel, waiting for them to find a way to break the devil's trap in hopes that he could help. Dean seemed more like he was about to jump through the fire, the risks be damned. Hearing Gabriel cry out again begged the question of if there would be anything left of the angel to save if they couldn't find a way to get to him soon.  
There was sickening snap the rang through the building followed by a scream as Gabriel's arm broke under the strain. The Fourth Born twisted, trying to pull away, tears of pain falling down his face. Xaphanel didn't seem too concerned with his pain, his mixed eyes glancing between the captive angel and his would be rescuers. Sam's green eyes went wide as he saw the demon give a small twitch; he wasn't letting go of Gabriel's arm making the broken bones grind together.  
"Stop it please!" Sam yelled, not having the heart to watch the angel he still loved in agony any more. "I'm Sam. Just please stop hurting him."  
The result was immediate as Xaphanel released Gabriel's arm and stood to face Sam. {Then I have you to thank. I must say you managed what Raphael could only dream of.}  
Sam paid the demon no mind as he watched the blonde clutch his broken arm to his chest. The angel rolled onto his side and shoot a glare at the demon. If anything the new injury seemed to infuriate Gabriel instead of wearing him down. Knowing that the Trickster would be alright for the moment, Sam turned back to find the demon looking at him questioningly. The hunter sent him a dark look.  
{Seems like there still might be feelings in there for my Jirbil. Such a shame he belongs to me now. Since my Master is dead my orders to kill him no longer stand. I am allowed to do as I wish with him.} Xaphanel said. {Now do please leave. You're disturbing me and it's nearing my dinner time.}  
Lucifer glared and his nearly blinding white wings appeared. "Not without Gabby."  
The Morningstar knelt down in front of the fire with his hands outstretched. He got as close as he dared to the fire before closing his eyes and concentrating. The wall of holy fire began to lower and the demon took a small step back and let out a snarl. Michael pulled out his own sword and stood at ready, waiting for his mate to be done with his spell work.  
The iron of the devil's trap came up a bit out of the flames and there was a loud roar the shook the building. Xaphanel's illusion dropped in his anger, revealing to them his true form, as Lucifer began to work harder on the fire. The demon's tail lashed out, going through the fire and catching the Second Born square in the jaw sending him flying back a feet.  
Dean fired off a bullet and it hit the demon in the shoulder. With a loud, pained hiss Xaphanel turned and swung his tail again, but not at the hunter. There was a muffled curse as Gabriel, who had thankfully been paying attention, rolled away just as that tail slammed into the ground, shattering it right where the angel had been laying. Gabriel looked up and realized that he was now only a few inches away from the broken part of his angel blade. Looking up at the demon, who was occupied with Michael's threats and Dean's bullets, Gabriel palmed the broken blade in his bad hand.  
"Hey Xaphanel!" Gabriel shouted at the demon. "Time to say goodbye. My family is going to rip you to shreds."  
Xaphanel sent a wave of power towards the group outside the fire sending Sam and Dean flying back and Michael fought to brace himself in front of Lucifer, who was still getting to his feet. Turning he stormed over to Gabriel and hoisted the angel to his feet, his claws digging into the blonde's arms. Gabriel hissed but stared down his nightmare, unwilling to show his fear or give a hint to his plan.  
{You test my patience Little Angel. I fear that you may invoke my temper in an effort to escape my presence.} Xaphanel stated, staring down at the blonde with sightless eyes as his tail trashed wildly behind him. {I am not ready to give you the freedom you seek from me so easily. You will not find death at my hands but only pain and fear.}  
Gabriel let out an almost inhuman sound, making both Michael and Lucifer exchange glances. "Then if I can't get away from you that way then at least I can hurt you just as bad you hurt me!"  
Gabriel swung the broken part of the blade, catching the demon along his jaw, bright blue blood spewing forth. Xaphanel stopped him from swinging again bringing both hands up to latch onto Gabriel's wrist. A quick twist had the wrist broken to match the angel's arm sending the blonde into screams again. Xaphanel let out a pleased hum that turned into shock as the Trickster pulled his good hand out of his pocket and clamped onto the demon's left wrist before pulling back, leaving a shining silver band locked tightly in place; the matching Sigil Cuff.  
Xaphanel threw Gabriel to the ground, clawing madly at the metal around his wrist. {What did you do to me?!}  
Gabriel began slowly pulling himself backwards, away from the demon, his knee, arm, and ribs all protesting the action but he knew he had to buy Lucifer some more time otherwise things were not going to end well for any of them. "It's a Sigil Cuff. Works on both angels and demons but they have to be made by an archangel. I'm wearing the other one, not that you noticed. It's used as a way to either punish or protect. Mine is protecting my family from being hurt since my Grace is unstable. Yours is a punishment from me for everything you and Raphael did!"  
{Why won't it come off?!} The demon spat stalking after the angel, not noticing that Lucifer was kneeling by the fire once more, the flames slowly going out around them. {Where's the key for this infernal thing?}  
"There's a catch to using Sigil Cuffs, Xaphanel. Only the person who put them on you can take them off." Gabriel said with a smirk. "Now you have no choice but to let me live unless you want to be at half power for the rest of your existence. If I happen to die, by either your hand or mine then that means you are stuck that way. So go ahead and kill me. I dare you to try and end me."  
Xaphanel leap at the blonde, pinning him to the ground, razor sharp teeth less then an inch from his face. {Remove it! Now! I demand that you remove it!}  
"Go fuck yourself, you arrogant dick." Gabriel said softly.  
Several things happened all at once following Gabriel's defiant statement. The devil's trap ripped up from the floor with a screech of twisting metal. Several gun shots rang out, splitting the air. The ring of holy fire flared up before dying down to almost nothing, but not going out entirely. Xaphanel's tail had swung around and wrapped around Gabriel's neck, picking the angel up from the floor. The silver bullets found their mark in the demon's back making him let out an angry roar.  
Xaphanel, realizing that he was longer wielding the upper hand, let out a feral sound, much like that of a wild dog. He spun around summoning a wall of blue flames and the smell of sulfur hung heavy in the air. Knowing that with his power diminished he would be unable to properly escape, Xaphanel used the only thing he had to his advantage. As he spun around he flung Gabriel through weakened ring of holy fire where he went through the closed metal door that lead to the river before vanishing into the flames he had summoned.  
Gabriel braced himself as Xaphanel summoned his flames, certain that the demon was going to try to escape with him. It was a shock when he flung back, feeling the holy fire burn at his back for a moment before he collided painfully with the metal doors. The metal buckled around his body and he felt himself land in the near freezing water.  
Gabriel struggled, fighting against himself to try and make it to the surface. He had no air in his lungs, his body was aching from all his injuries; there was no way he'd be able to save himself. Lungs burning the angel had no choice as his body betrayed him and his body drew in water in an effort to get oxygen. His fighting grew weaker and his vision began to turn red, then black as his body and mind began to shut down.  
Pain shot through his arm and he was jerked upward. He was dimly aware of an arm wrapping tightly around his chest and being pulled along but his mind was still going dark. Pain shot through him again and there was a strange feeling of someone doing something to his body. Pain blossomed from his broken ribs followed by something touching his face. It was the second time that his face was touched when he he felt something change.  
Air surged into his weakened body, kick starting his starved lungs. He began coughing, feeling water surge up from his lungs and gentle hands rolled him onto his side allowing him to cough and remove the disgusting river water from his lungs. It took him a few minutes of coughing and gasping before he was weakly rolled onto his back once more. He had just enough strength in him to open his eyes and look straight into the green eyes of his savior. Seeing the worry there he did the only thing he could to put the hunter at ease.  
"You...really need...to stop...kissing me, Dean." He choked out.  
Dean gave a sigh of relief with a weak chuckle and Gabriel gave him a weak smile in return before the days event took their toll and he passed out entirely.


	14. Healing the Body and Heart

**Chapter 13: Healing the Body and Heart**

Fire. It burned through his arm and his body ached. He felt hot, too hot, almost as if something were wrong with him. His chest was also tight, like there was a giant weight sitting on it. The strangest thing was the freezing cold that he could feel pressed against his back; it felt so good. Focusing, he used what little strength he could summon to open his eyes. His head rolled as he willed himself to try and look down at what had to be his mangled left arm; the pain wouldn't let him believe otherwise.  
"Gabby?" Came a soft voice from behind him. "Are you awake?"  
"Yeah...My arm..." He weakly croaked.  
"Sam. Sam. Sam!" Lucifer hissed at the sleeping hunter.  
"Huh?" Came the startled voice of Sam and the scraping of a chair as the brunette jerked awake. "What do you need?"  
"He's awake. I'll inform Michael and have him send Dean and Castiel to us while he gets our father. They might be a minute or two."  
Sam was suddenly in Gabriel's very blurry line of sight. "Hey. Easy. You're in bad shape Gabe. Nothing we do seems to be helping. You're not healing right. We think it's something Xaphanel did but we don't know how to fix it."  
Gabriel nodded and his eyes closed, he was so tried that it was taking all his effort just to stay awake. "Black lines?"  
Sam blinked and looked at Lucifer, who was holding the angel in an effort to keep him cool, and the blonde seemed just as confused as he felt. "Yeah. How did you know?"  
"Neck?" Gabriel panted out.  
"No. They're coming from your hand. The same place where you got cut with the glass." The hunter said. "Do you want to see?"  
Gabriel managed another weak nod. Sam carefully lifted the angel's arm, trying not to jar it or touch any of the wounds that covered it. Gold eyes slowly opened and took in the black lines that were spreading out from the cut on his hand. The black lines faded into gray before vanishing into nothing just below his elbow. He must not have been out for very long if they were that small. He was honestly expecting them to be worse.  
"Poison...Stops all...healing..."  
"Look who woke up. About damn time." Came Dean's voice as he and Castiel appeared in the room. "You scared the shit out of me Gabe. My heart almost stopped when you passed out."  
"Sorry..." Came the weak response. "Need...help..."  
"Yeah we got that." Dean said. "That bastard did something to you. Do you know how to fix it?"  
Gabriel's weak nod was nearly missed. "Not...going to...like it..."  
"Just tell us what you need done." Castiel said. "We just want you to get better."  
"Witch hazel...boiled with...lavender and..." Gabriel trailed off.  
Sam reached out and gave the angel a gentle shake and gold eyes fluttered open. "Hey come on. No sleeping until you're better. Witch hazel boiled with lavender and what else?"  
"Devil's claw." Gabriel muttered before breaking into a harsh cough. "Numb...the pain..."  
"No. You can't have any. Not after everything that you just went through to get clean." Lucifer said. "I don't want you to risk it."  
"Not...going to...affect me...this way..."  
Castiel nodded and vanished returning a few minutes later with a large clear bowl and three containers. He spread them out over the table and quickly set about making opening what he needed. Gabriel, who was fighting to keep his eyes open, was watching as Castiel began to work. The bowl was quickly filled with the witch hazel followed by lavender and devil's claw. Placing both hands on the bowl the two hunters were surprised to see the water start to boil. It didn't take but a few minutes before the mixture turned into a translucent cerulean color.  
That done Castiel brought the bowl over to the bed, setting it on the small table there. "We've boiled it. Now what do we need to do Gabriel?"  
The archangel seemed confused for a moment before he seemed to remember what was happening and his arm gave a weak twitch. "Hand in the...bowl to draw it out...Once most is out...the rest needs...to be squeezed...out to ensure...healing."  
Sam nodded and carefully lifted the blonde's injured arm once more. He slowly submerged the swollen hand into the blue liquid watching carefully in case something went wrong. The reaction was almost instantaneous. The black lines began to recede, the vile black substance rushing from the angel's body like a thin black snake. As soon as it connected with the mixture the black poison began to crystallize and fell to the bottom of the bowl.  
Gabriel let out a whine of pain and Lucifer began to try and soothe him, rubbing his brother's bare chest in hopes of keeping him calm. Gabriel would have been thrashing had he had the strength, but the best he could do in his current state was flinch as the poison was drawn from the wound. Gabriel opened his eyes again, having not remembered closing them, and watched as Sam reached into the bowl and began gently pressing, making more black come from the wound.  
"I think that's everything Gabe. Nothing else is coming out. Do you want to take a look?" Sam asked after a few minutes of gently poking and prodding at the wound.  
Gabriel nodded and the hunter carefully lifted his arm up to eye level. The lines were gone and around the wound was a bit of dead white skin, a normal reaction. There were no hints of gray and the fire that was burning his arm was gone. There was no burning and his fingers were starting to feel numb from the broken bones. He gave Sam and weak nod and the human lowered his hand again.  
"Did I get it all out?"  
"Yeah...all gone..." Gabriel muttered, his eyes sliding closed again.  
Lucifer gave the body in his arms a gentle shake. "No sleeping yet Gabby. Can we heal you now? You're in really bad shape and you're getting sick from your dip in the river."  
The angel let out a whimper at being kept from sleep but did manage to answer. "Yeah...poison gone...Tired...Hurts..."  
"Alright. You can sleep again. We've got you." Lucifer said softly.  
Gabriel gave a weak noise before he succumbed to sleep once more. Michael and Chuck appeared not a moment later. Michael came over and looked into the bowl with disgust and anger on his face at the poison sitting at the bottom. Chuck however, went straight to Gabriel, letting his power run gently over his son, grateful that this time he could see the injuries healing before his eyes.  
When everyone had returned and Michael came forward carrying Gabriel in his arms, Chuck had feared the worst. The youngest archangel had looked far worse then he had when he was brought to the bunker the first time. He had burns from holy fire, broken bones, lacerations, and bruises and to top it all off he was soaking wet as was Dean. It was only once they got him laid down that God had realized that while things were bad, the could have been so much worse; Michael could have easily been carrying his son's dead body into the bunker. Of course then came the worry when they couldn't heal him. Luckily Gabriel had known how to fix himself.  
"How is he?" Michael asked softly.  
Lucifer nodded. "His fever is finally breaking. I think I can get up now."  
Sam was quick to help steady the sleeping angel while Lucifer squirmed his much larger body off the bed. "He was really tired but he seemed like he knew where he was and who he was talking to. I was expecting him to be disoriented at the very least." Sam admitted.  
"No dice there." Dean said. "He could barely see me when I pulled him out of the river but he knew exactly who I was."  
"Good. Once he gets some rest he should be alright." Chuck said. "He's going to need food and juice when he wakes up. He's still going to feel the blood loss."  
Sam laid Gabriel back down and kicked his boots off before climbing into the bed with the angel. "I'll stay with him just in case. I have my phone and I'll call you once he wakes up again."  
Chuck smiled. "I know you'll take good care of him."  
"His hand isn't healed." Castiel said suddenly, looking at the angel's left hand as Gabriel curled around the hunter.  
Chuck frowned and looked at the wound carefully and infused his power into it but the wound still didn't heal. "It won't heal. I can't heal it."  
Dean heaved a sigh and went into the bathroom and came out with a needle and thread and a bottle of whiskey. "Well if angel mojo isn't working then how about we use a little human ingenuity? Just make sure he stays asleep. I'd rather not have to explain why I stitching him back together like my favorite pair of jeans."

 

Gabriel twitched awake, laying perfectly still as his brain tried catching up with the rest of him. Judging by the walls, he was back in the bunker once more. A pair of warm hands ran along his back and the angel was a bit shocked to realize that his shirt was missing. He tensed but relaxed when all those hands did was run along his back in a soothing manner. Not feeling any Grace ruled out any of his brothers. It was most likely Dean who stayed with him since the human had given him an offer of friendship. It made more sense then the other option; at least Dean didn't want sex from him.  
Gabriel flinched at that thought as he remembered what had happened and felt a bolt of disgust shoot through him and hoped that they had burned his clothes; he never wanted to wear them again after what happened with Xaphanel. Deciding that a shower was in order he pushed himself up only to let out a pained gasp as pain shot through his hand. He looked down at the bandage on his hand and took a quick stock of his body and realized that it was the only injury he still had. He let out a sigh and moved again, this time being careful of his hand.  
"Gabe?"  
The angel flinched at the sudden voice; that was not Dean. "S-Sam?"  
The hunter sat up and Gabriel realized that the man was still dressed. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind but I stayed with you to give Lucifer a break. You okay? I saw you looking at your hand. We don't know why angelic healing isn't working on it. It just won't heal."  
"It's healing. The poison just shows down the healing of any wounds to that of human healing." Gabriel explained. "Not the first time I've had that bastard stick his tongue someplace where it didn't belong. Next time I'll chop it off."  
Sam gave him a smile. "At least you're feeling better. Chuck wants me to let them know when you woke up so we can make sure you eat."  
Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand as he began to dial and stopped him. "Please...not yet. I just need a bit more time."  
The hunter nodded and sat the phone aside. "Want to lay back down?"  
"No. I want a shower. I feel disgusting after what that bastard did." Gabriel said looking away.  
Sam nodded and got out of bed and headed into the bathroom and began running some water. "Crowley said that he did something rather inappropriate with you."  
"Yeah. As he was making a meal of my Grace he decided that my pain was too good to ignore and jacked off against me. That's why I was covered in blue." Gabriel revealed.  
Sam came back out. "Good thing Dean burned them. Shower is ready."  
The archangel nodded and stood only to fall back down due to a wave of dizziness. "You've got to be kidding me."  
The hunter came over and helped pull him to his feet. "Gabe you just spent who knows how long fighting off a demon without your full strength, you were badly injured, almost drowned, and are still recovering. As much as I know you don't want to hear this, you just set yourself back because of this."  
"What would you have had me do then Sam?" Gabriel bit out as he half-walked, half-stumbled into the bathroom where a warm cloud of steam greeted them.  
"You could have tried talking to us Gabe." Sam reminded him gently, trying not to let the angel know just how much he was upsetting him by not talking to them.  
"It was my problem Sam. Mine. Xaphanel isn't after anyone but me." Gabriel said bitterly. "He would have killed anyone who got in his way. Like Crowley."  
Sam smiled; this he could fix. "Crowley is fine. He was a bit battered but he's fine. He's actually heading up the hunt for Xaphanel. He's taken it rather personal that you both got hurt."  
The Fourth Born let out a sigh of relief. "I thought...Xaphanel left me alone and went after him. I thought...I was sure I had gotten him killed."  
"Nope. Crowley is like a cockroach. He always finds a way to survive." Sam said with a smile as he knelt down and began pulling off the angel's socks.  
"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked.  
"Helping." Sam said, as if it was no big deal.  
Gabriel nodded and turned away. He felt Sam remove his sweat pants and then, to his surprise, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the hunter removed his boxers. Gabriel tried to stop the lump the rose in his throat from the simple action. They'd both seen each other naked even if they hadn't gotten around to sleeping together so nudity shouldn't have bothered either of them. The fact that Sam wanted to give him his privacy spoke volumes to him about how much the human still cared about him.  
Sam took his hands and pulled him to his feet and opened the door for the shower and let him walk in, taking the towel as he passed. Gabriel stood under the spray of hot water and took a moment to savor it before the damn broke. He let a single sob pass his lips before he leaned against the tiled wall, letting the water hide his tears. Why wasn't he allowed to be happy? Had he messed up that badly that even the universe decided to damn him?  
The door to the shower rattled as it closed behind him and the angel tensed feeling someone behind him. He turned just enough to see that Sam was standing there watching him. The hunter had a look of understanding on his face along with a sad smile. As the hunter leaned forward Gabriel noticed that the brunette was still wearing his boxers and another sob broke free as he realized that Sam was trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible.  
Sam grabbed the soap and lathered up the rag he was holding. Once he was sure there was enough he began gently cleaning the distraught angel. He started at the blonde's neck and slowly worked his way down making sure to be gentle. Sam kept his touch as professional as he could while also making sure the archangel knew that he was there for him. Upon reaching Gabriel's waist, the angel tensed but Sam just cleaned the angel's intimate parts before moving onto his legs.  
Happy the angel was clean, Sam gently pulled him back under the spray to rise off. As he did he adjusted the shower head making sure to get those blonde locks completely soaked. Grabbing the strawberry shampoo, the hunter poured a decent amount in his hand before replacing it. Rubbing the cream together he began to run it through Gabriel's hair making sure to gently massage his scalp, pulling another sob from the angel.  
Gabriel felt his heart clench at Sam's gentle attentions. The last time someone had been this attentive to him had been thousands of years ago when he and Lucifer were together. Lucifer had always loved touching him, going as far as demanding a shower once a day just so they could touch. The hunter cupped the blonde's chin and carefully tilted his head back, making sure not to get any soap in his eyes. With that finished Sam repeated the actions with the conditioner.  
Once Gabriel was fully clean Sam turned and began to pull open the door, intent on giving the archangel what he suspected was some much needed alone time. He had barely touched the door handle when Gabriel latched tightly onto his wrist. Sam frowned and looked back at the angel, who was staring at where they were connected. With a smile Sam moved back and his wrist was released. The youngest Winchester wasn't sure what to expect but having Gabriel latch onto him and begin sobbing was not it.  
Broken words spilled forth in Enochian in between the sobs. Not knowing what else to do Sam held him letting him cry. It didn't take long until the words and sobbing stopped but Gabriel still seemed unwilling to let Sam go. With a sigh he turned off the water and opened the door to the shower. Gripping the angel tightly, he easily picked him up, surprised by how light the angel actually was for his size. Taking him into the bedroom again he sat Gabriel on the edge of the bed and rushed back to grab a towel, turning up the heat for the room as he did.  
He quickly got Gabriel dry, with the angel saying nothing the whole time. It was both a little worrying and unusual. Going over to the dresser, Sam pulled out a clean pair of boxers and turned back only to see that Gabriel was running his fingers along the edge of his own short sleeved shirt. With a smile it brought back memories of Gabriel stealing his shirts to wear while they were dating. Going back over to the bed Sam helped the angel into the boxers before grabbing his shirt and helping the blonde into it, despite the shock his actions drew. The look of wonder and amazement on Gabriel's face nearly broke his heart. How bad was the angel hurting that the small act of letting him borrow a shirt brought him that much emotion?  
Sam just gave him smile and brought Gabriel's injured hand up to kiss his bandaged palm. "Keep it. It looks good on you."  
Gold eyes went wide and he reached down and ran his fingers along the hem of the shirt once more. "I...Are you sure?"  
The human nodded. "Yeah. Keep it."  
To Sam's amazement an actual smile broke out over the angel's face. "Thank you Sam."  
"Gabriel...I know you aren't ready for a relationship but I just want you to know that if you need anything I'm always here. If you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on, or even someone to just hold you, then you can come to me." Sam said. "What just happened in the shower can happen again anytime you want or need it to. Anytime. Day or night. I still love you but right now I want nothing more then to see you happy again. If me being a cuddle toy for you helps you cope with everything that's happened then feel free. You have an open invitation to my room."  
Gabriel closed his eyes and tears fell from his eyes again. "Why would you do that for me? I'm nothing. Just a whore."  
"You are not a whore. You are the most wonderful and special angel I know and I will forever hate myself for calling you that. I couldn't help but hear Xaphanel call you that too." Sam said softly. "Is he the one that gave you the scar?"  
Gabriel shook his head. "No. He just held me down. It was...It was Raphael. He gave it to me while he was...he was..."  
Sam gave the angel's hands a good rub, being careful of the injured one. "You don't need to say it Gabe. I think I understand what he was doing to you. I wish I didn't but I do. If you want, if you ever want to try a relationship with me again, we can take sex out of the equation."  
Gabriel nodded and moved to lay back down. When he crawled under the covers he looked pointedly at Sam. The hunter grinned and quickly stripped out of his wet boxers. He dried himself off and pulled his jeans back on before crawling into the bed. No sooner did he get settled then Gabriel curled up around him, resting his head over the hunter's heart. As the angel began to drift off Sam couldn't help but think about how much he had missed this.


	15. Fueds and Deals

**Chapter 14: Feuds and Deals**

Castiel watched from the shadows of the hallway at the two occupants within the the room. It had been six weeks since Gabriel's ill fated attempt to go after Xaphanel and since then the tense atmosphere between Sam and the archangel had practically vanished. Now it was easy to find the two together. No matter what it was the two were always close.  
Right now the two were in the living area on the couch. Sam was reading softly to Gabriel, who's head was resting in his lap. The hunter's fingers were in the blonde's hair rubbing at his scalp gently. Gabriel's golden eyes were closed and there was a small smile playing on his lips. There was an air around the two of contentment at the very least.  
It wasn't always this peaceful with Gabriel however. There were days where the blonde refused to get out of bed, spending the day crying or staring blankly at the wall. Other days the blonde was inconsolable, his tears not stopping even with the comfort of their father. Then there were days where the archangel was snappish, lashing out at everyone one, and the only way he seemed to find peace was by crossing blades with Lucifer. When his anger finally drained away, Lucifer would heal him before handing him back over to Sam.  
Everyone took Gabriel's mood swings in stride. Sam let the angel treat him like a cuddle toy while Dean would talk to him and regale him with past hunts. Lucifer would train with him while Michael would bring all manner of tactical questions to him to keep him busy. Chuck helped with the little things as best he could while Castiel himself would ask Gabriel about humanity and the things he had done. It kept the archangel for dwelling too much on what had happened both in the past and what had happened just recently.  
There was a rustling and Michael was next to him. The First Born greeted him with a nod. Castiel nodded in return, his eyes never leaving the two. Michael turned to see what had his attention and blinked at the sight.  
^How long have they been like that?^ Michael asked softly in Enochian.  
^Roughly an hour. They haven't moved an inch since they got comfortable. It seems like whatever words they exchanged the night we saved Gabriel has changed something between them. I have asked both of them but neither have answered me.^ Castiel said, glad to be speaking in his native tongue. ^I believe that Gabriel is recovering much faster now.^  
^I believe you're right. I can only recall seeing a smile like that once before and it was when he was with Lucifer.^ Michael said. ^It's still going to take time before he's back to his old self. I must admit that I am looking forward to that day.^  
Castiel nodded before turning to face his older brother. ^Why have you come here Michael? You said you wouldn't be back for a few days.^  
^I just wanted to let you know how things are going. We've lost six more angels and seven demons to Xaphanel this past week.^ Michael explained. ^One of them survived long enough to tell us that Xaphanel is demanding that Gabriel be handed over to him and he'll stop killing our soldiers.^  
Castiel frowned and looked in at Sam and Gabriel before turning back to his eldest brother. ^What are we going to do? If we hand Gabriel over then who knows what will happen.^  
^I already know what that monster will do to him.^ Michael said. ^I've put the clues together. I know that Raphael is the cause of this. That he did horrible things to to our brother. There is more that I could tell you but I would rather not say much more without asking Gabriel if it would be alright. These secrets are his to tell.^  
^So what are we going to do?^ Castiel asked again.  
^I don't know yet. We can't let him have Gabriel but I am not sure we can risk sending anymore angels after Xaphanel. Crowley is more then willing to throw as many demons as it takes at him but even with a Sigil Cuff on he's still strong. Strong enough that he can go to par with an archangel at full power and hold his own.^ Michael admitted. ^I'm hoping that Gabriel will be willing to talk to me about some of the things that happened so we might have the upper hand.^  
^Do you think he'll be willing to talk to you?^ Castiel asked turning back to look at the two.  
^I hope so. If not then maybe he'll talk to Sam. Gabriel is our best bet at beating Xaphanel.^ Michael said watching as Gabriel opened his eyes and looked up at Sam.  
Sam marked his place in the book and gave the angel a smile. The hunter helped the blonde sit up before standing himself. Gabriel joined him and Sam said something that had the angel chuckling. As they started towards the door Gabriel looked up and broke into a smile when he caught sight of Michael and Castiel.  
"Spying on me again you two? You don't have to worry so much. I know it's lunch time. That's where we're going." Gabriel said. "I get that you guys want me to get better but I really don't need a baby sitter. I think I'm too old for one anyway."  
"Can't a big brother just check in on his younger siblings?" Michael asked, cutting off Castiel before the other could speak, making the dark haired angel frown in confusion. "I just wanted to see how you were doing for myself."  
"I'm doing okay. Some days are better then others." Gabriel admitted. "I'm getting stronger every day and my Grace is beginning to stabilize. My appetite is still lacking but Dad says that's normal. It might go away once I get past the worst of it."  
"I'm glad to hear it Gabby." Michael said with a smile. "I'm sorry that Lucifer and I haven't been around as much. I know we promised to be there for you and we haven't been doing a good job with everything that's going on."  
The smaller blonde shook his head. "It's fine Mike. I know that you and Luci have other things going on right now. Sam and Dean were nice enough to tell me everything. I'm not a fledgling anymore and I understand that there are things that are more important then me. Right now you need to focus on whatever problems that you have going on."  
Michael heaved a sigh, he didn't want to bring this up knowing that it could set Gabriel back again, but he had no choice; Gabriel was the only one who had information that he needed. "Gabriel...About that...We need to talk."  
"You mean you want to know more about Xaphanel." Gabriel said, his voice resigned, and the First Born nodded.  
Sam stepped up and placed a hand on the archangel shoulder. "You don't have to do this Gabe."  
"You're wrong there Sam." The blonde said. "I'm the only person alive who knows anything about Xaphanel. I'm the only chance anyone has of trying to stop him."  
"I don't like it." Sam said. "You sure you're up to it? I don't want to see you hurting again. This could set you back."  
"I don't have a choice." The Fourth Born said to the hunter before turning back to his eldest brother. "When do you want to talk?"  
"Anytime you feel comfortable." Michael said. "I would like it to be soon, if possible."  
Castiel watched as the unease began to seep into Gabriel's frame and offered up a suggestion, knowing that if the blonde was too upset he wouldn't be able to eat. "Maybe it would be best to wait until after Gabriel has eaten."  
Sam nodded. "Yeah. Chuck said that he couldn't skip anymore meals. Not after what happened at the shipping yard."  
Michael noticed that the other two seemed rather hesitant to let Gabriel speak but decided to allow them what he could. "Alright. I need to get back but I can stop back sometime after dinner tonight. Will that be alright with you Gabby?"  
Gabriel nodded, his body still tense. "That will be fine Michael."  
The First Born heaved a sigh and pulled his younger brother into a tight hug. "I'll see if I can get Lucifer to clear enough time so we can both be there. Send me a message if anything changes okay? I'll see you tonight."  
With that Michael pulled back and left with a rustle of feathers. Gabriel took a deep breath and Sam reached out and rubbed at his back. Castiel was unsure of what to say; it was clear that the blonde's history with Xaphanel was clearly a painful subject with him. The only thing was bugging him was not knowing how far back the trouble started. How long had Gabriel been running, not only from heaven, but from Raphael? What made the Third Born despise his younger brother so? The only one who had any answers was Gabriel himself, considering that he had killed Raphael on his power trip.  
"Gabriel may I ask you a question?" Castiel asked softly. "You may choose not to answer it if you wish and I won't be offended."  
Gabriel let out a chuckle and some of the tension left him. "You can ask Cassie."  
"This feud between Raphael and yourself." Castiel said.  
The archangel frowned but started walking away, heading towards the kitchen, taking Sam's hand and pulling the hunter along, making Castiel chase after them. "Didn't hear a question there, baby bro. Want to try again? I know you can do it."  
Castiel heaved a sigh; the archangel was teasing him. "I would like to know when this feud between Raphael and yourself started."  
"That's just it." Gabriel said as he ducking into the kitchen where Chuck was already cooking. "I never had any problems with Raphael. Ever. We never exchanged words over anything."  
"I remember that for the longest time Raphael and you were always doing something together." Chuck said. "Namely teaching each other your mastered skills."  
Gabriel nodded. "He taught me Lore and I taught him healing. It was something to do while Michael and Lucifer were busy running heaven."  
"So what changed?" The younger angel asked.  
"I don't really know." The archangel admitted. "It wasn't long after I was named Messenger that Raphael started actively showing everyone just how much he hated me. That was when he began to up the ante and really let me have it. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure anyone would believe me. Once I actively began being the Messenger I was too busy with my new title and duties for him to keep it up as much as he liked. Once things began to calm down it was around the same time that Lucifer and I began dating. He didn't come near me much after that. I think he was too afraid of Lucifer finding out and getting mad at him."  
"So the feud started after that?" Sam asked.  
"I didn't even know he considered himself at war with me until after he chased me down here." The Trickster said.  
Chuck sat down a plate of hot ham and cheese with a bowl of tomato soup and a side of chips in front of his youngest archangel. "What happened then? Did he want to talk?"  
Gabriel took a bit bite of his sandwich and shook his head.  
"Considering how Raphael was I highly doubt that talking was very high on his list." Castiel said. "I assume that it was most likely veiled threats and intimidation."  
"More like very real threats of telling Michael I was really alive and dragging me back to heaven to be executed." Gabriel said and he began munching on a chip. "Followed by making sure that I 'knew my place in the order of things' which was a fancy way of saying that he was going to beat me until I couldn't move. At the time I thought he was just pissed off at me because I didn't take Michael's side during the war. It wasn't until the second meeting that he started going off on me about how he didn't understand what made me so special. Why I was chosen to be Messenger over him and how he should have been 'The Voice of God' because he was older then me."  
God frowned at that. "I told Raphael that I had other plans for him."  
Gabriel shook his head. "He didn't care. All he cared about was that fact that I had your blessing to go out and spread your word."  
"I'm sorry." Chuck said.  
"He started hitting me long before that Dad." The archangel said. "He made sure not to hit me where it showed and I made sure to heal the injuries before they were discovered when I could."  
"Do you know why he started hitting you?" Sam asked, watching as the blonde finished off his food. "Was it something you said or did?"  
Gabriel thought about it for several moments before his brow furrowed and he seemed a bit unsure, almost as if he wasn't sure was he was saying was the truth. "The first time he hit me was...was not too long after I was finally able to best Michael on the training field. I remember that day pretty well. Luci and Raph were watching us from a safe distance and I managed to disarm Mike and make him yield. Mike stood up and hugged me and said he had never been more proud of me then just then. It was the next day that he hit me for the first time."  
Sam frowned and opened a box of cookies and handed the angel a few. "So he hit you because Michael said he was proud of you?"  
"I didn't say it made sense." Gabriel said. "It's just the only explanation I have. If you have a better on then I'm willing to hear it."  
"Sorry. Fresh out of ideas." The hunter said with a smile.  
The angel gave him a smirk. "I didn't think so."  
"So why are we talking about Raphael?" Chuck asked curiously.  
"Michael is going to stop by tonight, hopefully with Lucifer, and I'm going to tell them all about Xaphanel. I think I'm going to tell them everything." Gabriel said softly.  
Chuck's expression became worried. "Are you ready for that? To let everyone know exactly what happened to you?"  
"I think I am." The archangel said, his voice confident abut still a bit shaky. "I would rather never speak of it again but I don't have much of a choice anymore. Xaphanel is here and he's after me. As much as I would like to, I can't pretend that our fight didn't happen and I can't keep believing that he'll go away if I ignore him. He's out there and he won't stop until he gets what he wants."  
"Which is you." Sam said with a grim expression. "Do you know how to kill him?"  
"I wish. I tried last time and it didn't end well."  
"What about binding him?" Castiel asked. "Is there a way we could bind him?"  
"It could work." Chuck said. "I could always build another Cage since we destroyed the old one. We just need to make sure we set a trap that he can't get away from."  
"Something that can hod both angel and demon. Raphael made him using a small piece of his Grace." Gabriel revealed. "So it needs to hold both."  
"Not a problem." Chuck said. "I'll get started on it right away. It should only take me a few days to get it ready. Until then we'll let Michael, Lucifer, and Crowley take care of things. I would rather not have you out there fighting again any time soon. You may be getting better but I would rather keep you as far away from that thing as possible. You were very lucky last time. We just got you back and I am not going to risk losing you again."  
Gabriel nodded. "I know. I'm not willing to have a repeat of it either."  
Sam watched as the blonde let out a yawn following his sentence and chuckled. "Okay Gabe. Lunch is over. Ready for a quick nap?"  
The blonde nodded and got up and hugged his dad, thanking him for the lunch, before following the hunter out. Chuck smiled as he watched them go. It seemed like the two were working their way back towards a relationship even if Gabriel didn't want to admit it. Shaking his head he turned to find Castiel looking sadly at the door and realized that the young angel was waiting on someone. Fixing up a tray of food the diety passed it to his son watching as the angel frowned.  
"Dean has been in the garage working on the Impala since this morning. I'm sure he's hungry." Chuck hinted, watching the smile light up the angel's face before he vanished with the tray. "Those two are something else. I just hope Dean decides to ask me about marrying Castiel soon. This sexual tension is making me go stir crazy."

 

Michael carefully checked his surroundings before creeping up to the door of a run down dock. He knew he was being foolish, coming alone but he didn't want to risk anyone else. Reaching up he knocked hard on the door twice and it swung open. Making sure he wasn't being followed he ducked inside and the door slammed shut behind him, locking and flaring with sealing sigils. A single candle burst into flame in front of him illuminating the sightless purple demon in front of him.  
{I must say Michael, I didn't think you'd come.} Xaphanel hissed out. {Not after everything I've done to your precious Jibril.}  
Michael stood tall. "I asked you to come didn't I? I'd be a fool not to show up."  
The demon let out a hiss. {So why did you bring me here? Certainly not to play games.}  
"What would it take for you to leave Gabriel alone?" The First Born asked.  
{I was created for the sole purpose of hurting him. What makes you think I'll give him up so easily?} The demon asked, his tail flicking across the ground with the sound similar to that of a snake.  
"I know you won't let him go without a fight. I would be surprised if you did. Would you be willing to consider an exchange then?" Michael asked.  
Xaphanel stilled and his sightless head tilted. {An exchange? You want to give me another angel in exchange for Jibril? That doesn't sound at all like the Michael that he spoke so highly of.}  
"That's because I'm offering myself." The First Born said with a snarl. "You can do what you will with me once a week in exchange for leaving Gabriel alone. For good."  
The demon was suddenly on Michael, pinning the blonde to the wall and taking a deep breath while letting his tongue slide along his neck. {A very tempting offer Michael. Why are you so willing to do this for him?}  
Michael gritted his teeth, hating the feel of that slimy tongue. "Because he's my brother and I love him. What you and Raphael did to him was wrong. I may not had been able to protect him then but I can do it now. Gabriel is still recovering and that last thing he needs is to worry about you going after him, Sam, or Lucifer. It's better this way."  
{Indeed it is. So much guilt eating at you. Not nearly as much as my darling Jibril but more then enough to make you taste sweet. So when do I get my first meal from you?} Xaphanel's tongue dipped into the collar of the angel's shirt to run along his chest.  
The blonde jerked at the intrusion. "Tomorrow. I've made all the arrangements. You'll have twenty-four hours starting tomorrow. I'll meet you here. Will that work?"  
{Why not tonight?} The demon asked pulling back.  
"Because I have to go meet with my brothers tonight." Michael explained. "It wouldn't be fair to give you a taste then leave."  
Xaphanel pulled away, releasing the angel. {Tomorrow. Be here by midnight. I'm rather hungry.}  
Michael nodded and fixed his clothes. "Midnight. I understand."  
The spells came down and Michael turned towards the door only to be stopped by the demon's tail wrapping tightly around his wrist. {If you don't show up or make me regret this in any way, then make no mistake, Jibril will pay for your crimes tenfold. When I get done with him there won't be enough of him left to save.}  
Michael yanked his arm away and pulled open the door. "I'm an angel of my word."  
{See you at midnight then Michael.}  
The First Born slammed the door closed behind him as he left but it did nothing to drown out the demons ringing laughter in his ears as he headed back to the bunker.


	16. That Was Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cookies to the person who figures out which Monopoly piece goes to which SPN character!   
> ~Noxy
> 
> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEX!

**Chapter 15: That Was Unexpected**

Lucifer frowned and glanced at the clock again; Michael was almost three hours late. This was becoming more and more common over the past two months. It seemed like every Monday evening Michael always showed up later and later. It was actually starting to worry him. The First Born was known for sticking to the rules and always being on time. His behavior as of late was just the opposite.  
The Morningstar blamed Xaphanel for the change in his mate's behavior. The demon had seemingly vanished, disappearing without a trace. When they had told Gabriel, the news sent the Fourth Born had a panic attack that only abated when Michael swore that he would personally take up the search. The downside was that Michael had decided to take one day off a week to search for the bastard and every time he left he always came back the next day exhausted and his Grace would be weak. He also came back later and later each time.  
There was a rustling and Michael appeared, stumbling as he landed. Lucifer rushed to his mate's side and helped steady him. Michael turned and wrapped his arms around his mate, holding him close even as the Morningstar tried to lead is mate to their bed. No sooner did the First Born hit the bed then he was out cold. This was the weakest his Grace had ever been. Lucifer was moving past being concerned and was rushing straight into worry.  
Knowing that Michael wouldn't wake anytime soon he turned and left their shared room. He didn't want to do this but he wasn't sure what else he could do. As he approached the family room that the Winchesters had set up he could hear the playful banter from the five in the room. They had retired there after dinner to play a game. Castiel was complaining that he didn't understand the rules, Sam was patiently trying to explain them to him, Dean was accusing Chuck of cheating, Chuck was claiming that what he did was fair, and Gabriel was laughing; actually laughing. Lucifer hated that he had to break up this wonderful moment.  
Stepping into the room he was surprised to see that Dean was actually trying to reach across the table to strangle Chuck. Chuck seemed unimpressed with the hunter and his threats, mostly considering that Castiel had a hold of the back of the hunters pants keeping him in place while Sam showed him the rules. Gabriel was rolling with laughter from his place on the love seat at the whole scene. Lucifer couldn't help but smile at the pure joy he saw on his brother's face.  
Stepping further into the room his smile faded as he knew what he had to do. "Am I interrupting anything?" Lucifer asked.  
Gabriel managed to compose himself. "Just Dean-o trying to kill our Dad for cheating. You sure you don't want to join us Luci?"  
Lucifer shook his head as he glanced at the metal playing pieces of a car, cat, money bag, top hat, and gun sitting on the pale blue board. "Actually I came to ask for your help Gabriel."  
The Fourth Born stiffened at the use of his full name and turned serious. "What's wrong Lucifer? Are you okay?"  
"Yes. It's not for me." The Morningstar said. "Can I borrow you for a few minutes?"  
Gabriel stood and Sam stood as well but the blonde just shook his head. Sam frowned but nodded, catching the blonde's hand for a quick squeeze as he passed by. Lucifer led the way to his room with his younger brother trailing close behind. When they got to his room they were greeted by the soft snores of Michael on the bed. Gabriel stared for a moment before his expression shifted into worry.  
"He's sleeping." The Fourth Born said softly. "Why is he sleeping? We're angels. We don't need to sleep unless there's something wrong."  
"It's been like this the past few times he's come home." Lucifer said. "This time his Grace is really weak. I'm worried Gabriel. This isn't like him. He's coming home late and he refuses to take me with him when he leaves."  
Gabriel turned to look at his ex-lover and he could see the forest green worry and slight white fear that the elder was trying to hide. "You're worried and scared."  
Lucifer nodded and rubbed his wrist where his bracelet sat. "I don't get it. He's never done this before. I've always watched his back Gabby. Doesn't he trust me anymore?"  
"Just the opposite Luci." Gabriel said taking a step back from the other. "Mike is trying to protect you just like I was doing when I went after Xaphanel."  
The taller turned at that and gave him an appraising look. "Do you know what he's doing?"  
Gabriel shook his head. "We haven't really talked since I told him everything that happened. It was upsetting for the both of us. It was right after that when Xaphanel went missing and Michael began hunting for him."  
"Can you look at him please? I know it's a lot to ask since you still aren't better but I'm too worried to even try. I might end up making a mountain out of a mole hill."  
Gabriel nodded and slowly and carefully removed his sigil cuff. There was a small flare of Grace that shattered the desk and made the youngest archangel flinch. Lucifer just fixed it with a snap and smile to ease the younger's embarrassment at his loss of control. Taking a calming breath Gabriel walked over to his eldest brother with an outstretched hand.  
Gabriel focused as hard as he could on his control; the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Michael unintentionally. Once he was sure he had an iron clad grip on his control he carefully pushed forth his Grace, running it gently over Michael. He frowned as he found half healed wounds and a couple still healing broken ribs. The First Born's Grace was also severely depleted, almost as if it was he had been using it constantly. Digging a little deeper he examined each wound carefully before healing them. As for him being so weak Michael's Grace would have to recharge on it's own; he didn't have the strength or control to try and restore it himself.  
Pulling away he returned his cuff to his wrist, frowning at the colors he saw; neon green deceit and deep maroon pain. "Has...Has Michael given you any hint as to where he's been going or what he's been doing?"  
"No. Why?" The Morningstar asked.  
"The wounds I healed remind me of others that I healed. They aren't battle wounds. These are wounds that speak of torture Lucifer." Gabriel said softly.  
Blue eyes went wide and turned to stare, first at Michael, then at Gabriel. "Are you sure? Is there any way that you could be wrong Gabby? Any way at all?"  
"My calling is healing Luci. I've healed enough wounds to know the difference between battle injuries and torture." Gabriel insisted. "Those cuts were far to precise to be from anything else. They were too smooth and placed in the exact spot to cause the most pain with the least amount of damage."  
Lucifer shook his head in denial. "You...You have to be mistaken Gabby. This is Michael we're talking about, not one of our weaker siblings or some human! He is our Father's chosen Warrior! He is heaven's sword! An archangel! The First Born! Think about what you are saying!"  
"I don't have to think about it Lucifer. I know my injuries as well as you know your spells." The Trickster said. "His injuries are exactly what I said they are. Whatever Michael is doing and where ever it is that he goes to once a week is hurting him. He's coming back injured and his Grace is weak. Too much more of this and it will start to take a toll on his body that I won't be able to fix. You need to talk to him about this. Fix your relationship with him."  
"You mean talk to him the way you've talked to Sam? I can see just how well that worked out for you Gabriel!" Lucifer all but spat, his fear for his mate turning to anger. "You went and destroyed your relationship with him and ended up living like the worst deviant!"  
Gabriel froze and his gold eyes turned cold. The air in the room felt like it had dropped at least ten degrees. It was easy to tell that Gabriel was beyond pissed.  
Lucifer froze as well, fear and horror crossing his face as he realized what he had just said. "Gabby I didn't-"  
"No." Gabriel said softly, cutting off the Second Born completely, before turning and quickly leaving the room.  
Lucifer stood still for several moments before rushing into the hall after Gabriel. He looked back and forth along the hallway but it was almost as if the Fourth Born had vanished. Going back into the room Lucifer sat down heavily on the bed next to his sleeping mate. After everything that had happened how could he have just done that? How could he have just thrown what had happened back in Gabriel's face like it was nothing? His Father, his brothers and the Winchesters were going to throw him back in the Cage and make sure he stayed there this time.

 

Gabriel slammed the door to Sam's room so hard that it bounced back open. His chest felt tight and his heart was pounding. How could Lucifer do that to him? Remind him of just how badly he had screwed up? It was the worst thing that happened, his breaking point and the Morningstar had used his words like a knife to carve into the still open wound he was dealing with. Taking a deep breath Gabriel realized he was shaking.  
Without thinking about it he reached into his pocket and pulled out the round pill container. With a shaking hand he opened the lid revealing the bright pink dried petals within. He had asked Crowley to get him some more after the fight with Xaphanel and the King of Hell had done so with no questions asked. Gabriel now had a whole stash of Devil's Claw again but this was the first time that he was tempted to use some.  
He pulled out one petal and closed the lid, thinking about what he was about to do. One petal was more then enough to get him high but what if he took less? Just enough maybe to take the edge of Lucifer's harsh words off. A quarter of a petal should do the trick. It would be enough. If not then he could take a little more. Gabriel took a deep breath and tore off a small piece and placed it on his tongue, feeling the light buzz rush over him before opening the container once more to replace the rest.  
A hand was suddenly around his wrist, yanking the container from his hand and sending it across the room, pink petals flying about before hitting the ground. Gabriel was harshly pulled around and he found himself staring into a pair of angry green eyes. The other hand came up and hit the pressure point for his jaw, his mouth opening and no doubt revealing the bright pink spot on his tongue from the drug he just consumed. The hand pulled away sharply and gripped his shoulder tight.  
"Is this why you left with him? To take more of this shit?"  
"No!" Gabriel retorted, fear filling him. "I really was helping Lucifer!"  
"So why are you in my room taking this?" Sam asked angrily. "How long have you been sneaking it? How much did you take?"  
"I've had it for a while but this is the first time I've taken it! I swear!" Gabriel said, trying to squirm out of the hunter's tight grip. "I only took a quarter of a petal. I swear. I've never lied to you."  
Green eyes narrowed and looked over at the scattered petals before turning back to the angel. "Is this really what you want? To go through this again? Do you have any idea how bad it hurt all of us to watch as you thrashed around, locked in a straight jacket, begging for us to either give you more or kill you? Do you really want to put your dad and brothers through that again? Or Dean and me? Did you even stop to think about that? About what it would do to us, the people who love you?"  
Gabriel shook his head, his chest heaving; he was on the verge of hyperventilating. "No...I just...Lucifer said...I just wanted to..."  
Sam pulled the angel close and held him against his chest and began rubbing his back, his anger draining at seeing the Fourth Born so upset. "Gabe breathe. Focus on me and match your breathing to mine. There you go. Nice a slow. Easy."  
Gabriel's breathing began to slow at the hunter's coaxing but the minute he calm he rushed into an explanation again. "Lucifer said...I told him the truth and he...He reminded me of what I did and how I ruined our relationship and I was so mad and upset and I couldn't get his words out of my head so I figured that it wouldn't hurt if I just took a little and I'd still be okay and no one would know and no one would be angry with me but then you found me and now your angry and I don't want you to be angry I don't want to send me away again please don't send me away again I promise I won't do it again just-"  
Sam couldn't take the way the angel's voice was cracking, how his face was a mask of panic and fear, or the way that his gold eyes were filling with tears. He leaned down and slammed their lips together effectively cutting off the angel's panicked rant. Gabriel tensed under him but after a moment the blonde relaxed against him before he hesitantly began kissing back. Sam deepened the kiss, gently coaxing the angel's mouth open until their tongues met. Gabriel still tasted sweet, like caramel but there was also a strange bitterness there as well and Sam could only assume that it came from the Devil's Claw because he'd never tasted that before when kissing him. Slowly Sam pulled back, ending the kiss.  
Gabriel looked up at him with both confusion and lust, his gold eyes dilated. "You...You kissed me. Why did you kiss me?"  
Sam gave him a smile and his hand trailed up to cup the blonde's flushed cheek. "Because I needed you to know that I do still love you even if you never want us back together. And you didn't ruin our relationship, I did. You tried to save it but I refused to listen. Our break up was my fault Gabe. Not yours. You want to know what else? I would give just about anything to fix that mistake."  
Gabriel stared up at him and Sam watched as that warm pink tongue darted out to lick his lips. "Sam? Kiss me again?"  
Sam obliged, ducking down to kiss the archangel once more and this time Gabriel met him half way. Lips met, teeth crashed together, and tongues dueled. Sam was surprised when Gabriel's hands came up and began fumbling with the buttons on his flannel. Thinking that maybe the angel wanted some skin to skin contact he helped with the buttons and the shirt hit the floor followed closely by the angel's own button up hitting the floor. The kiss was broken and Sam took the chance to pull his t-shirt over his head and fling it behind him. To his shock however Gabriel reached for his belt.  
"Gabe? You sure about this?" Sam asked, his hands covering the Trickster's.  
"I just...Please Sam..." Gabriel whispered, his head bowed.  
The brunette hesitated but decided to go with it and deal with the fallout later. "Let me shut and lock the door. I don't want our brothers disturbing us."  
The blonde snapped and the door slammed shut, the lock clicked, and angelic sigils flashed across it. Sam blinked but didn't have time to ask any questions and the angel's warm hand was suddenly down the front of his pants. The hunter let out a startled moan but bucked into the gentle stroking, feeling Gabriel's other hand pulling his pants and boxers down to his ankles, and Sam stepped out of the clothes, losing his slippers in the process. The hunter was about to ask Gabriel what he wanted to do but that warm tongue reached out and lapped at the head of his cock, making the organ fully harden.  
Sam's hand drifted down and into that silken blonde hair. He had forgotten just how wicked good the angel's tongue could be. The hunter opened his eyes-when had he closed them?- and looked down just in time to see Gabriel give him one last lick before the angel wasted no time in swallowing his length whole. Sam hissed as he felt himself hit the back of the angel's throat before his knees began to buckle as Gabriel swallowed around him, his throat squeezing his cock tightly.  
Gabriel pulled back suddenly leaving the youngest Winchester a bit dazed. He got to his feet and grabbed the hunter by the hands and pulled him towards the bed. There was another snap and Sam found himself holding a small bottle of lube. The hunter looked at the angel questioningly but Gabriel was kicking off his slippers and they were quickly followed by the angel's dark jeans and silk boxers. Sam shook his head and went with it, grabbing Gabriel and shoving him down on the bed, pulling a moan from the angel.  
Realizing that Gabriel had liked the rough treatment, the hunter leaned down and began nipping and biting at the angel's neck and collar bone pulling loud moans and pleas for more from him. Grinning the brunette took the time to slick two of his fingers up. Gabriel watched him, his gold eyes nearly black with lust. The angel spread his legs and the hunter took the hint and settled himself between them, his fingers quickly making their way to the entrance to the angel's body. He ran his fingers gently over the blonde's twitching hole, enjoying the whimpers and whines he was getting even as Gabriel tried his hardest to press down on those searching fingers.  
Knowing that Gabriel has enjoyed the rough treatment, Sam paused for a minute and looked up at the angel with a dead serious expression. "If I hurt you at anytime please tell me."  
Gabriel seemed to come back to himself a little. "You won't hurt me Sam. My pagan magic is active. Please just do it!"  
The hunter nodded, getting an answer to his earlier question; Gabriel was not using his Grace but his pagan magic. Sam leaned up and kissed the Trickster hard and shoved both fingers into the angel. Gabriel pulled back from the kiss with a scream but his hips slammed down on Sam's slick fingers, driving them deeper into his body. Sam quickly prepared him, using quick motions that pulled sharp cries from the blonde's lips and pleas for more.  
Removing his fingers, the human quickly slicked his painful erection, and slid back between the angel's legs. "I love you."  
Gabriel eyes went wide and a near inhuman scream fell from his lips. Sam had used his confession as a distraction and slammed into the angel quite roughly and nearly bottomed out in one thrust. He didn't give the Trickster time to adjust, instead setting a brutal pace that had the Fourth Born pleading for more and crying out. The youngest Winchester paused and adjusted his position, pulling Gabriel into his lap. The next thrust had Gabriel screaming again as not only did Sam strike his prostate dead on, but it allowed the hunter to fully penetrate him. It was all Gabriel could do just to hold onto the hunter's shoulders as his body was assaulted by the wonderful mix of pain and pleasure as he was lifted and then dropped onto Sam's hard length.  
"Sam...I can't...I need to cum...Please..." Gabriel managed to pant out against his hunter's lips in between the kisses and thrusts.  
Sam nodded. "Don't hold back Gabe. This is not about me. This is about you."  
The brunette took one of his hands off the angel's hip and reached between them. Using his still slick hand he wrapped the angel's almost purple erection tightly in his hand. All it took was three quick, rough pumps and Gabriel came hard, screaming Sam's name and painting both their stomach's and Sam's hand white. Sam wasn't immune to the angel's reaction. Seeing the Trickster come completely undone along with how tightly Gabriel had camped down on his cock, sent the hunter over the edge as well, pulling another loud noise from the angel as he came in him.  
Gabriel slumped against Sam, his breathing ragged and his heart pounding. Sam placed gentle kisses along the angel's chest, taking in the darkening flesh from where he had bit him. Glancing down Sam realized that Gabriel was going to have a multitude of bruises come tomorrow, not only along his neck and chest, but on his hips as well.  
A soft noise drew his attention and Sam gave the angel a small nudge; Gabriel had fallen asleep. Holding the angel tightly with one arm, the hunter managed to pull down the sheets of his bed. Wrapping the other arm around his angel, Sam managed to gently lay Gabriel down before pulling out making the angel let out a whimper. Shaking his head Sam went into his bathroom and wet a rag and came back out and cleaned Gabriel off before tucking him in. Knowing the angel wouldn't wake he took a quick shower and pulled on a clean pair of boxers before joining Gabriel in bed. Settling in for the night Sam couldn't help but wonder if he done the right thing.


	17. Facing The Truth

**Chapter 16: Facing the Truth**

Sam laid on his side, his head propped up on his hand as he stared at the sleeping body beside him. Gabriel was sleeping peacefully next him, one arm tucked under his pillow, the other thrown over his head, and his face was turned towards Sam. The hunter had woken at six that morning and tried to leave but whatever magic Gabriel had used the night before was still active, sealing them both in. Seeing no other option, the hunter had stripped and laid down once more and that was where he had stayed even though it was getting close to nine. Last nights sudden activities must have been a bit too much too soon for the poor angel.  
Truthfully he hadn't gotten much sleep after fucking the angel's brains out because, and Sam had to face facts here, last night had been just that. Pure, animalistic fucking; there was no love or tenderness involved in it. Gabriel had wanted it rough, begged him for more and Sam knew there were times where he had to have been really hurting the blonde with his bites but instead of asking Sam to stop, all he'd gotten were pleas for more. The hunter was more then certain that if he had drawn blood that the Trickster probably would have still begged him for more.  
It was a strange experience for the youngest Winchester, having been so rough with the Fourth Born. While they had been dating Gabriel had never given any indication of liking pain during sex. If anything being with the angel proved the exact opposite. Gabriel had always been gentle with him, his touches soft and bringing only pleasure. Sam had been gentle with him too and the angel was always very vocal about just how much he liked those gentle touches, always letting out moans and pleased cries of pleasure. Glancing over at the besides table Sam couldn't help but wonder how much of Gabriel's needs last night had been driven by his drug induced state.  
Not too sure why he had done it, Sam had picked up every single petal, even the one that was missing a small part, and had placed them all back in the container. Another thing that was bugging Sam was the fact he wasn't even sure how Gabriel had managed to get more considering that they had seen him burn his last batch. Why he didn't just burn them or flush them away he didn't know. He could easily have done so but instead he had gathered them up and put them all back. Even looking at them still brought a small flare of anger into his heart, just as it had last night when he walked into his room to find Gabriel preparing to close the container.  
The youngest Winchester had no idea what do do now. Sure he and Gabriel had sex but where did that leave them? Gabriel, while better then he was a few months ago, was still not ready to have a relationship. Sam knew that for a fact, not that it changed the way he felt about the angel. Not to mention that the hunter also knew that Gabriel's beauty had captured Crowley's attention since the demon had met him, not to mention having Lucifer's from the start. When Gabriel was ready to try his hand at actually living life again, instead of taking it day by day as he had been, then there was still that chance that the angel would seek comfort in Lucifer's arms once more or even give Crowley a chance. Something that made Sam very jealous even if he knew it was unfounded; since that night so long ago he had no right to the blonde at all.  
Last night had been amazing, the hunter wouldn't lie, but there was always an underlying darkness to everything. In this case that darkness was that Sam wasn't even certain that last night had been a good idea. Sure Gabriel had said he wanted it but he had also taken some of the Devil's Claw meaning that the angel's judgment was impaired; he had no idea how the drug worked or how it affected angels other them what he had been told. Sam knew that in his heart there was a very good chance that if Gabriel awoke and didn't remember asking Sam to sleep with him then it might just kill any chances he had a getting back together with him. Or even worse, the angel might just think that Sam had used his drugged state for sex; Gabriel could then claim it was rape because he wasn't able to properly consent due to his mental state.  
There was a groan from sleeping angel and Sam's green eyes watched him like a hawk. The blonde shifted a bit and let out a content sigh. Sam waited with baited breath, hoping that maybe the angel was finally waking. Sam's hope turned out to be true as Gabriel shifted again and his gold eyes slowly fluttered open. Those eyes looked around sleepily before settling on Sam. The angel let out another content sigh, shifting closer to the hunter, and Sam couldn't stop himself from reaching out and moving some of those blonde strands away from his face, enjoying the silken feel.  
"Thank you."  
Sam startled a bit at the softly spoken words. "So you remember what happened last night then?"  
The blonde nodded, confusion marring his face. "Why wouldn't I?"  
The hunter shrugged and gave the angel a bitter smile. "Oh I don't know. Maybe it's because you took something you shouldn't have?"  
"Oh." The angel said softly. "Forgot about that."  
"So you forgot about taking a highly addictive drug but you can remember having sex with me?" Sam asked, watching the angel carefully.  
"To be fair the sex was amazing." Gabriel said with a small smile. "Not the way I pictured our first time together but it was something else."  
"I left bruises." The hunter whispered, his fingers reaching out to trace one of the darker bite marks he left on the angel's collarbone, one where every tooth print was visible.  
"I know." Came the simple reply. "I'm happy you didn't hold back. It helped."  
"Me hurting you helped? It felt more like I was abusing you even though you were pretty much begging me for more." Sam said, looking away. "I wasn't sure what your state of mind would be when you woke up."  
The angel stared at the hunter for a minute before he understood what Sam was both saying and not saying; he had worried the younger Winchester about what his reaction would be upon waking up and realizing that they had slept together. "Sam what happened last night was pure consensual sex. Yeah I wanted you to hurt me but don't you dare think that it was anything less then me saying yes. I wanted it. If anything I figured that you'd be mad at me for begging you for sex. Or mad at me because I asked you for the pain. I know you don't like hurting the people you love."  
Sam shrugged. "I was afraid of hurting you last night but I figured that if I did something you didn't like then you'd stop me. I know you aren't defenseless, at least I know now. I don't know why I thought you would be when you had your magic from your time as Loki. I guess because I figured it was just part of your Grace. I was more worried about you waking up and not remembering what happened and you running off to Lucifer and-"  
"You thought I'd scream rape?" Gabriel asked, disbelief coloring his features. "Sam trust me when I say that what we did last not was not rape. If I really hadn't wanted it, then trust me, you'd know it. I tend to fight tooth and nail when...When someone hurts me."  
Sam looked up and saw the pain on the angel's face. "You mean when someone rapes you."  
Gabriel flinched and began to pull away but Sam grabbed him and held him tight. "Let me go Sam. I don't want to talk about this anymore."  
"You can't say it can you?" The hunter asked, realization flooding him.  
That was the final piece of the puzzle sliding into place. Gabriel's breakdown made more sense to Sam now. The way the angel acted with the flirting and the way he managed to turn everything into a sex joke. It was all Gabriel's way of coping with what happened. Sam was certain, now more than ever, that the archangel was on some level refusing to acknowledge the fact that he had been raped by someone he cared for. Throw in the fact that someone, Raphael most likely, had convinced the blonde he was a whore and it made everything that happened click. The angel had probably been spiraling towards a breakdown for a while and when Sam had broken up with him that night, had called him the same thing, Gabriel had finally snapped.  
"Let go of me." Gabriel repeated, his voice tight and body tense, trying to jerk away.  
"No." Sam said pulling the angel closer. "I think it's time you talked about this Gabriel. You've been running from it for so long You aren't going to get any better if you don't face what happened you. This is part of the healing process."  
"There is nothing to talk about!" The angel snapped glaring up at him.  
"I think there is." Sam snapped back. "You can't even admit what happened can you?"  
"What do you want me to say Sam?" The angel asked, his voice turning cold.  
"How about you start with admitting what happened!" The hunter replied.  
Gabriel's mouth snapped shut and he glared up at the brunette.  
Sam let out a snarl. "Gabriel I know this is hard but I am trying to help you! You need to own up and admit that this happened!"  
"Nothing happened!"  
"Why can't you admit it Gabriel?!" Sam yelled pinning the angel to the bed. "We both know what happened to you!"  
"There's nothing to admit Sam!" Gabriel yelled, thrashing against the hunter.  
Green eyes narrowed. "Just admit that Raphael ra-"  
"Don't!" Gabriel snapped, his own gold eyes flashing.  
"You can't even stand to have me say it can you?!" Sam demanded. "Why not?"  
"Because then that would make it real!" Gabriel shouted back before breaking into a harsh sob. "If it's said out loud then I have to admit that it happened! I'd have to admit that Raphael hated me more then I ever thought possible! He was my brother Sam! My big brother! I looked up to him! He was my hero! He swore to always be there for me! To protect me! Then he turned around and did these awful things to me and told me that it was my fault! That I brought it on myself! How would you feel if Dean did that to you?!"  
Gabriel fell back onto the bed, his sobs increasing as he struggled to keep going. "I don't want to remember that it happened. I don't want to remember how he made me feel pain and then he twisted it into something I began to enjoy; something that I derived pleasure from. I wanted to forget those months I spent with him. I wanted things to go back to normal but he left me with scars and I can't...I can't forget what he did. I've tried so hard but I can't forget it."  
Sam released the angel only to pull Gabriel into his arms, holding him close and letting the angel cry. "It's okay Gabe. I've got you. He can't hurt you again. I promise."  
Gabriel shuddered and clung to Sam as more broken sobs began to leave him. "Sam...He...Raphael...my brother raped me. He raped me Sam. He raped me and made me enjoy it until I was begging him for more and when I was broken he just left me laying there covered in blood and cum and he looked down at me...Raphael looked down at me and said that I was his perfect whore and that I got what I deserved for not being able to heal our family."  
Sam couldn't stop his own tears from falling as he held the sobbing archangel. He could almost feel Gabriel breaking apart as he was forced to face the truth of what happened to him all those years ago. He didn't know how anyone could be so cruel. How could Raphael do that to his baby brother? To someone he had sworn to protect and love?  
"What about Xaphanel?" Sam asked softly, wondering how exactly the demon fit into all of this.  
"Rapahel got tired...He got tired of hurting me and not being able to watch. He made Xaphanel for one reason, to bring me pain. He let that thing do whatever he wanted to me. I lost count of how many times he had me so out of my mind with pain and pleasure that I would lose track of the days and when it was over and I'd finally come too they'd be laughing at me and telling me all the things that I did and I would be so scared because I couldn't remember what happened and I had no idea if any what they were telling me what true or not." The angel whispered against his hunter's chest.  
"Like what kinds of things?" Sam asked. "It might help. I promise I'll be right here. Tell me everything okay?"  
"I don't know if I can. I don't want you to hate me." Gabriel whispered, pulling back to look at Sam with a tear stained face.  
The brunette leaned in and gently kissed the angel and wiped away his tears. "I won't hate you. I will never hate you. I'm sorry I ever spoke those words to you but I can promise that they will never pass my lips again."  
Gabriel nodded and shifted pulling away to lay back down. Once he was settled he pulled Sam down between his spread legs so their nude bodies were flush against each other, giving Gabriel a sense of comfort. With a smile Sam rested his head right over the angel's heart and linked their hands together.  
Gabriel took a deep breath and his grip on the hunter tightened. "I was in a small town, just passing through when I felt Raphael's Grace. It had only been a hundred years but I missed my family so much that I didn't stop to think about why he was there. I just rushed to go met him, hoping that maybe he missed me as much as I had missed him."  
"I guess he didn't give you a warm welcome." Sam stated.  
Gabriel sighed. "Just the opposite. He seemed so happy to see me. He hugged me close and held me until I was relaxed and that was when he struck. He knocked me out and when I woke up he had me in chains. He waited until I was awake before he started cutting off my clothes. I didn't want to believe what he was doing. I couldn't believe it."  
"So he just started right in?"  
"Yeah. I tried talking to him and begging him to stop. He just ignore me until he started actively touching me. After that it was nothing but degrading marks and abuse."  
"I can't being to imagine how that felt Gabe."  
"It gets a lot worse. It involves blood, other demons, monsters, and humans, and rather degrading and disgusting things. Are you sure you want to hear all this? I've never told anyone else everything. I didn't even tell my Father, though I'm sure he knows." The angel asked softly.  
Sam nodded and felt Gabriel's fingers slide into his hair. "I do. I want you to be able to trust me again. I want to help you."  
Gabriel nodded and took a deep breath. He could do this. It was time to let Sam know the truth. He owed the hunter that much after everything that had happened between them.  
"Okay. I guess I need to start from the beginning. I was in this fishing village just outside of Egypt. I liked hanging out with Bast and Sekhmet a lot so I stayed close because we were such good friends; still am actually. It was the end of winter and growing late and I was thinking about heading out when I felt Raphael getting closer..."

 

"How could you be so stupid Lucifer?" Michael snapped at his mate, watching as he cringed on the bed. "You know how badly Gabriel is still struggling with what happened. How could you do that to him? How could you be so cruel?"  
"I don't know!" Lucifer cried. "I was so upset over you that I wasn't thinking straight!"  
"Where is he now?" The First Born asked, anger still blazing in his blue eyes. "Where did Gabriel go?"  
"After I calmed down and made sure you were okay I went to go find him. It took me a while but I did finally find him. He's in Sam's room but he's warded the door." The Morningstar said softly, crossing his arms over his chest.  
Michael felt the anger flare in his chest again. "So our younger brother locked himself in Sam's room alone after you hurt him? What if he decides to start cutting again? Or starts taking Devil's Claw once more? Or worse, decides to try his hand at suicide again because of your stupidity? Do you really want to be responsible for his death again?"  
Lucifer flinched and seemed to curl in on himself, making his imposing six foot one frame seem much smaller then it actually was. "He's not alone. Sam is in there with him. They've been together since last night."  
Michael turned and glanced at the clock; it was already past noon. "You do realized that if Gabriel has sealed them in and then he manages to hurt himself or Sam or worse that we, even as archangels, won't be able to get in because he's using his pagan magic instead of his Grace to invoke the angelic warding sigils don't you?"  
A look of horror crossed the Second Born's face and all the blood seemed to rush from his face. "Michael I never meant to hurt him again. I was upset and what Gabby said-"  
"Don't call him that." Michael snapped. "After what you did last night I don't think you have the right to call him that."  
Lucifer flinched again. "I wasn't meaning to hurt him Mike. I told you. I was just stressed and worried about you. Gabby-"  
The First Born let out an angry noise.  
"-Gabriel said that your injuries reminded him of torture. I know you Mike. You'd never let something like that happen."  
"My injuries are none of your business Lucifer." Michael said, his voice cold.  
Lucifer looked up at that, pain swirling in his ice blue eyes. "You're my mate Michael. Your injuries are my business. It's my job to love and protect you. That was the vow I made when we mated."  
Michael let out a growl and his Grace flared making the air in the room thick and for the first time in a long time, Lucifer was actually scared of him. "I am only going to say this once, Brother; what I am doing when I go searching for Xaphanel is none of your business. My injuries that I get when I am gone for that one day are none of your business. The only problem you should worry about is keeping on my good side. If you ever do something like this then make no mistake, mate or not, and I will throw you back in the Cage myself."  
There was a flutter of wings and the Grace dissipated as the First Born left. Lucifer took several deep breaths and tried to calm himself. It was taking everything he had to not break down in tears. First he had hurt Gabriel and now Michael; the two beings he loved more then life itself and now they both were angry with him. The sound of footsteps made him look up as someone came into his room. Blue eyes met with blue as Lucifer stared up at his father. Chuck came into the room and gently hugged his son and Lucifer tried his damnedest not to sob.  
"I know." Chuck said softly, kissing the top of his son's head. "I know. It's okay."  
"Dad I need..." Lucifer started before his voice broke.  
"I know. You need some time. Take all the time you need. You can come back anytime." Chuck promised him. "When you come back your room will be next to mine okay?"  
Lucifer nodded. "Can I stay for a few more minutes?"  
Chuck nodded and held on tighter, saying nothing about the wetness he could feel seeping into his shirt. "Take all the time you need Lucifer. I'm here."


	18. Lending An Ear

**Chapter 17: Lending an Ear**

Sam stood behind Gabriel, his arms locked tightly around him as the angel cooked a pan of french toast despite that fact that it was already late in the evening, just past seven. They were both barely dressed, with Sam only in his boxers, a tank, and his slippers and Gabriel in his own boxers and and slippers with Sam's flannel thrown on but unbuttoned. The hunter rested his chin on top of the blonde's head, watching as the bread was flipped before being be removed from heat and added to the pile that was already there. With a smile Sam leaned down and kissed the angel's neck even as Gabriel prepared another piece of bread for cooking.  
"What the hell?"  
Sam and Gabriel both turned to see Dean staring at them with wide eyes.  
"Seriously what the hell?" Dean asked stepping into the room, his eyes taking in the look of the two, the still healing marks on the angel, and the closeness they were sharing.  
"It's french toast." Gabriel said with a frown. "I didn't know you didn't like it. If I had I then I would have made something different."  
"Not what I meant there Feathers." Dean said. "And you know it!"  
"Calm down Dean. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." Sam said teasingly.  
"You want to explain what is going on?" The hunter asked angrily.  
Gabriel was silent for a moment before looking up at the older hunter. "Sam and I talked. Last night when Lucifer asked for my help some things happened. Lucifer and I exchanged some rather nasty words. I almost started my drug habit again. Sam and I had sex. We slept. We woke up and talked. I told Sam everything that happened to me. He knows everything and even knowing what he does he still loves me. What more do you need to know?"  
Dean glared at his brother for a few minutes before looking back to the angel. "You sure about this Gabriel? Is this really what you want?"  
The angel sighed, but it was Sam who answered. "We haven't decided if this is what's best for him yet. Right now what he needs is someone who is there for him to give him what he needs."  
Dean nodded, able to understand that. "So what are you doing?"  
Gabriel turned to the hunter with a grin and Deans breath caught in his throat at the joy and happiness on the archangel's face. "I don't know what we're doing but damn if we don't look good doing it! Right Sammich?"  
Sam chuckled and nodded.  
Chuck came into the kitchen and looked around before going over the the fridge and grabbing out some other things, either not surprised or possibly ignoring his youngest son's current unkempt state. "Since you're already making french toast how about I make some omelettes and bacon to go with it?"  
"Breakfast for dinner sounds good to me." Gabriel said with a smile. "Someone want to go grab Mike and Luci?"  
Chuck sighed. "They aren't here."  
That had Sam turning to the deity. "Where did they go?"  
"Lucifer and Michael had a fight." Chuck said simply before moving to help his youngest archangel cook. "Michael was mad about what Lucifer said to Gabriel. They exchanged more words and it ended with Michael returning to heaven and Lucifer returned to hell. Michael will be back tomorrow. Lucifer might be gone for a while."  
Gabriel frowned. "I don't want them fighting because of me."  
Chuck shook his head. "The fight was about you but not because of you. I will admit that Lucifer was out of line with what he said to you last night but what Michael said to him this morning was also out of line."  
"Like how out of line are we talking?" Dean asked, curious.  
"Michael threatened to throw Lucifer back into the Cage." Chuck said softly. "It was enough to terrify him."  
"Damn." Dean muttered. "He okay?"  
"Lucifer will be fine. He just needs some time to himself." Crowley said as he appeared in the kitchen. "Hello boys. Gabriel. Chuck."  
Gabriel smiled at the demon. "Hey Crowley. How's the shoulder?"  
The demon gave him a smirk. "Better. That's for the recommendation. I never would have thought to try comfrey for it. I owe you."  
"So what were you saying about Lucifer?" Sam asked, resting his chin once more on the angel's head as he looked at the demon.  
"I just came from meeting with the Devil himself. He has me playing messenger at the moment. Said that if anyone needed anything to summon me because he's going to be busy for a while. Truthfully I think he just wants to be away from the cock that is the First Archangel."  
Gabriel sighed. "Michael can be a dick. I'll talk to him the next time he shows up. He's far too overprotective of me."  
"In the mean time I was sent here by Lucifer to give you something." Crowley said.  
The demon waved his hand and a vase full of flame lilies appeared on the counter along with a sealed letter. With a smile and wave Crowley vanished, leaving them alone once more. Gabriel frowned and pulled away from Sam and went over to the letter. Picking it up he looked over the symbols on the front with a frown. Dean watched him curiously as the archangel seemed confused by the paper.  
"What's wrong?" The eldest hunter asked.  
"Nothing really it's just...he wrote it in Lucifian. He must not want Michael to read it." Gabriel said. "It the language of the first demons. Something that Lucifer made up out of boredom before his fall. He taught it to me so that we could annoy Michael and Raphael. After his fall he taught it to his demons. Only the oldest and a few of his chosen know it."  
"So he wrote you a letter that he doesn't want anyone to read?" Dean asked. "Why?"  
"Its not that he doesn't want anyone to read it Dean-o." Gabriel said with a smile. "Luci just wants me to know how sorry he really is. If he wasn't really sorry he'd write it in Enochian."  
"You want to read it now?" Sam asked coming over to him.  
"No. I'll read it later." The blonde said, setting the paper back down next to the flowers. "I just want to eat. Food first, then apologies."

 

Crowley stood in the doorway of the entrance to Lucifer's chambers. When the Devil had arrived shortly after three the Fallen had been visibly distraught. Crowley had made a remark about him being tired, giving Lucifer an easy out in case he decided to have a breakdown in front of his demons. Thankfully the blonde had understood what he was doing and headed for his rooms. That was now how he had come to be standing in the door way of Lucifer's study, watching as the Devil stared at the bracelet sitting on his desk; the one that was normally around his wrist, his mating charm from Michael.  
"Last I checked a mating charm didn't do anything special." Crowley said, watching as the devil looked up at him. "Unless you just like the way it looks."  
Lucifer let out a sigh and motioned for the demon to join him. Crowley did so, but not before grabbing a bottle of his finest Scottish Whisky and pouring them both a glass. Sitting down, the Scotsman had a feeling that there was more going on then just the Fallen being tired. The least he could do for the blonde was lend an ear.  
Lucifer took drink with a nod of thanks. "I don't normally drink but thank you."  
"Just looking out for the boss." Crowley said with a smile. "I delivered your flowers and letter like you asked. Seems like Gabriel might be doing better."  
Blue eyes looked up at him, hope filling them. "How?"  
"Well it looks like he and the moose slept together. He seemed happy. Something about talking to the moose and letting him know everything that happened to him and how the moose still loved him. He was actually smiling and laughing." Crowley said. "I think he's actually getting better."  
"I'm glad. He deserves to be happy." Lucifer said softly before taking drink, wincing at the burn. "Especially after everything he's been through."  
"And what about you?" The Scotsman asked.  
"What about me?" The devil asked, reaching for the paperwork he had shoved aside.  
Crowley pulled the papers away and began glancing over them. "Don't you think you have a right to be happy too?"  
"I'm the Devil, incase you've forgotten. The Devil is an evil, manipulative, vile-"  
"Person who deserves to be happy too." The demon interrupted, throwing the papers back down on the table. "Devil or not you deserve it too."  
"People would disagree." The blonde retorted, taking the papers back and going to grab his quill.  
Lucifer frowned as he stared at the quill, pulling his hand back as if he had been burned. It was the one that Michael had crafted for him from a golden eagle feather. With a glare he turned away and began to go through his desk looking for a pen or something to write with. Crowley cleared his throat Lucifer looked up to find the demon holding out a pen to him. The Morningstar nodded his thanks and took the pen and began signing papers.  
"Trouble in paradise then?" Crowley asked. "First you take off your bracelet and now you're refusing to use your quill."  
"My life is hell in case you haven't noticed; no paradise to be found." Lucifer said. "Me leaving here is just to get a break. I probably won't be leaving again for a while. I've been neglecting my duties, even with your help. I was being foolish. I should have known better."  
"You aren't a machine. Even angels need a break sometimes." Crowley said, watching as the blonde opened his mouth. "Even the Fallen ones. Especially the Fallen ones."  
Lucifer's jaw closed with a snap as he tried to think of a comeback.  
"Hellhound got your tongue?" The demon asked with a smirk.  
"I think I've been taking plenty of breaks. Too many. I've let my relationship with Michael cloud my judgment and make me lax in carrying out my job." The blonde said, shaking his head. "I need to devote myself to running hell."  
"Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn but since you've been with Michael, you've become a better person." Crowley said pouring himself a second glass, and topping off Lucifer's. "You've become a better leader and even a family man."  
Lucifer scoffed and signed his name on a paper for the torture of some soul. "I'm the devil."  
"Keep telling yourself that and maybe someday you'll believe it again." The Scotsman said with a chuckle. "I doubt your mate sees you like that."  
The blonde froze and looked up at the demon before looking back down at the bracelet. "Can I ask you a question?"  
Crowley nodded and pushed Lucifer's drink closer to him. "Of course you can. It's what I'm here for isn't it? I'm your second in command. I take care of the day to day affairs while you handle the bigger things. That's what we agreed on."  
Lucifer nodded and picked up the glass and drained it, coughing a bit. "May I confide in you? I have no one else to do so other then my father but his love for me tends to skew his opinion."  
Crowley refilled the glass and sat back. "I'm all ears."  
"I hurt Gabriel last night. I may have mentioned everything about how his life was in shambles and how he was being a deviant. He got angry with me and left." Lucifer revealed before draining his glass again and the demon quickly refilled it.  
"That explains the letter and flowers. I was wondering what the apology was for." Crowley said, sipping at his drink.  
"I know I've told you of Michael's quest for Xaphanel. How he disappears for a day only to return injured and weak. Well I tried to confront him about it after telling him about the fight with Gabriel." Lucifer said softly. "Michael was furious with me."  
"Just how furious are we talking?" Crowley asked, curious.  
Lucifer's eyes went to the bracelet again. "He threatened to throw me back into the Cage. He said it didn't matter that I was his mate."  
Crowley frowned and the pieces fell into place as to why the Devil wanted him to take over going back and forth to the bunker. "Don't worry mate. I'll be your shield for now. You stay here and take care of whatever strikes your fancy. I'll run interference for you. Take the time you need to get your head on straight. Go down and torture a few souls, play with the hellhounds, make a few deals. Go be yourself for a while."  
Lucifer seemed to think it over for a few minutes before nodding. "I think I will. It might help me relax. Thank you Crowley. I know we aren't friends but-"  
"Consider us friends now. After all I owe Gabriel and if me being your friend helps with the debt then so be it. Anytime you need me to be a shoulder to cry on then just give me a shout. Deal?" The demon asked filling the Devil's glass nearly to the rim.  
Lucifer nodded. "Thank you. For the alcohol and friendship."  
"Anytime mate." Crowley said sitting back with a smirk. "Anytime."

 

"You're angry at yourself aren't you?" Adam asked, watching as Michael paced.  
"I don't know why I did it." The First Born said. "I know that he's terrified of the Cage. He told me so right after we were sealed in. He flew into a panic attack and it took ages to get him calm. How could I have done that? I used the one thing I knew would hurt him! I accused him of being stupid for hurting Gabriel and then I turned right around and did the exact same thing!"  
Adam shook his head as he watched his former protector pace. "How about you sit down? You're making me dizzy."  
"I don't want to sit down! I need to know how to fix this!" Michael snapped before realizing what he had done. "I'm sorry Adam. I didn't mean to yell at you."  
"Michael you need to stop this." Adam said. "Whatever you are doing that has you showing up here weak and sometimes injured, isn't doing anyone any good. I know you said that this is helping Gabriel but at what cost? Do you really want to lose Lucifer because you're keeping secrets?"  
Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I want them both safe."  
"You can't protect them forever Mike." Adam said with a smile. "I doubt that they want you too either. Maybe you should come clean and tell them what you are doing. It might just be the only thing that will help you get past this."  
The First Born nodded. "Maybe you're right. I should tell them but if I revoke my deal with Xaphanel then he'll go after Gabriel again. I don't want to lose him to that thing!"  
"Then sit down and find a way to beat him. You said he was created by Raphael right? If I were him and I made something that powerful then I would want to keep a record on it. Something to make sure I knew how to kill it. An insurance policy if you will. Something to hold over his head should he ever decide to turn on me." Adam said with a smile, watching as the First Born's eyes went wide.  
"Adam you are a genius! I don't know why that thought didn't occur to me. Raphael's area has been sealed since his death." Michael said as he stood. "I'm going to go check his area. I might find something that can help Gabriel."  
Adam chuckled. "Good luck Mike."  
The First Born hesitated and turned back to the soul of his once vessel. "Would you like to come with me? We can look together. I might over look something."  
The human smiled and stood. "One last adventure with you? I'd love that."

 

Castiel looked around taking in the area that he had just landed in. The woods here were so thick that you could barely walk through them, the path the once lead here was long gone, taken back by nature. There was barely any open space in the small clearing for the dilapidated cabin that it housed. The only clear view to the sky came from the small creek that ran nearby. The dark haired angel frowned as he took in the area, not understanding why this place was so important.  
Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the copied piece of paper and read it over once more. It was written in Michael's hand but what he had was only a copy, passed along to him by one of the angels that had once followed him. It was given to him with a worried look and the information that Michael had sent it out with one of the angels that had met a foul end in a confrontation with Xaphanel. It was a simple message asking for a meeting and giving a set of coordinates in longitude and latitude along with a time to meet. Glancing up at the cabin once more Castiel frowned feeling the sigils that were for protection and for hiding before shoving the note back in his pocket.  
Pulling out his angel blade, Castiel moved towards door. Checking the handle he was surprised to find that the door was unlocked. He opened it slowly and was greeted with what appeared to be a mix between a bedroom and a torture chamber. Stepping further into the room, Castiel's blue eyes took in the blood splatter on the floor and the burn marks from feathers. Kneeling down he reached out and touched the scorch marks, trying to feel for any traces of Grace. Pulling back he was shocked to find that they belonged to Michael. The door slammed shut behind him and Castiel spun, his blade held at ready only to freeze at the sight that greeted him.  
{I was not expecting this. I didn't think Michael would be kind enough to send me a snack.} Xaphanel said, his sightless face taking in the shocked angel in front of him, before taking in a deep breath, his nostrils flaring wide. {I recognize your scent. You were there that night with Jibril's brothers. Who are you?}  
"My name is Castiel. Gabriel is my older brother. As is Michael and Lucifer." Castiel said.  
{I see. Did Michael send you?} Xaphanel asked watching as Castiel frowned in confusion. {Oh I see. You don't know about Michael's dark little secret do you? Well maybe it's time you know.}  
"I don't want to fight with you." The angel said taking a step back.  
{I don't know where you think you're going pretty one. This is the only door. If you want out then you'll have to get by me.} The demon said before breaking into a smile. {Of course I'm not sure if I want to let you leave. I haven't had the pleasure of entertaining someone in so long. I think I'd like to get back into it. Starting with you.}


	19. Captives and Loki's Return

**Chapter 18: Captives and Loki's Return**

"This isn't like Cas at all. It's been almost a week." Dean said. "He's not answering his cell phone, he not answering his summons, and everyone I've talked to says that they haven't seen him."  
"You've asked Michael if he sent him out on a mission right?" Chuck asked, adding something to the pot in front of him.  
"Yeah. Michael said that after the meeting that Castiel hung back to clean up and that was the last he saw of him." Dean muttered angrily.  
"What about Lucifer?" God asked, turning to look at the miserable human.  
"Since he's being scarce I asked Crowley, who called him. Lucifer hasn't seen Cas since the night Michael showed up hurt. The last I saw of Cas was that morning. He said that there were several meetings that he had to go to that Michael had planned. He called me later on that evening and said there was something he had to check out so he'd be home a bit later then normal and that was it." The hunter recounted. "Last time I couldn't find Cas like this was with the whole Levithians thing."  
"What about Sam and Gabriel? Have you tried asking them?" The diety asked, his voice becoming worried. "Surely they know something."  
"They haven't seen him either." Dean confirmed. "And you know Cas, he always wants to spend time with Gabriel."  
"Maybe I should go look for him." Chuck muttered.  
"Look for who?" Sam asked coming into the kitchen with Gabriel trailing close behind.  
"Cas." The eldest Winchester said softly. "He hasn't been back here in nearly a week. I'm really worried about him."  
Sam frowned. "Did Michael or Lucifer send him out on a mission?"  
"That's what I was just telling Chuck. Michael was the last one to see him at the meeting but I was the last one to talk to him as far as I can tell." Dean said. "I'm starting to get worried."  
Gabriel looked at Dean and then hung his head, as if ashamed. "Maybe we should call Michael, Lucifer, and Crowley here and get them to send out a search party. As much as I don't want to say this there is a chance that he could be in danger. Xaphanel is still out there and looking for me. If I know that demon then he could have easily picked up Castiel's scent the night you saved me."  
Dean turned to glare at the archangel. "So you're telling me that the ninja turtle's pet can tell someone just by their scent?"  
Gabriel nodded. "Xaphanel doesn't see in the traditional sense; no eyes remember? He does something similar to what I do when I heal. He sees in colors and emotions like I do but he takes them and ties them in with someone's scent and the 'taste' of their pain. Cassie was with you that night right? Then Xaphanel could easily recognize him as someone who either sees me as important or as someone that is important to me. If he decides the the risk is good enough then he might try to use Cassie as a way to get to me."  
"I swear if that Sightless Wonder has laid even a single finger on Cas then I will destroy him." Dean declared. "I don't care what it takes."  
Gabriel nodded. "Dad if you could go get Mike? I'll tell Crowley to bring Luci up. I just hope Castiel is okay."

 

"How long do you plan on keeping me here?" Castiel demanded to know, watching as the demon as it gathered something to make food to feed him with, not that he was going to eat it; he'd turned down ever meal the abomination had made so far. "My family will be looking for me."  
Xaphanel turned to face the angel, who was bound to the wall, his arms chained tightly above his head. {I'll keep you for as along as I want. You trespassed onto my territory. You should be thanking me for being so kind to you.} The demon said flicking his tail.  
"Why should I thank you?" Castiel asked puling against the chains, despite knowing that it would do no good. "You're holding me prisoner. I don't think that it is commonplace for prisoners to be thankful to their captors."  
{I could be doing so much worse things to you. Would you rather I did that? Do to you what I did to Jibril? Somehow I do not think that you would enjoy it as much as he did.} Xaphanel stated walking over to him before tilting his head and giving the angel a look of curiosity. {Did Jibril ever tell you why I was created?}  
"Gabriel said you were made to hurt him." The dark haired angel said, shifting away from the demon that was invading his personal space. "That you enjoy his pain both physical and emotional."  
{When Raphael made me it was for the sole purpose of hurting Jibril, that is true. And yes I do feed on the pain that he, or anyone, feels along with feeding on the Grace of angels. When I first became aware, my first act as a newly made being, was to hold Jibril down and rape him until I was told to stop.} Xaphanel revealed, his smile showing his jagged teeth. {When I first came towards him, he was pale, naked, and covered in blood and bruises, but the sheer terror he felt was delicious; I have never tasted anything sweeter. He screamed, he pleaded, and finally he begged for Raphael to stop, to call me off. My Master just laughed and told me to make sure I took my sweet time doing whatever I wanted to him. }  
Castiel felt his stomach turn. "You're lying. Raphael would never do something like that. Not to another angel and certainly not to Gabriel."  
{Then you don't know my Master very well, do you? He even took part in the festivities. I would hold Jibril down while my Master took his pleasure. The pain that came from him was almost a delicacy. I could have feed off him for years.} Xaphanel said leaning in close to Castiel, running his tongue along the angel's cheek. {I spent years with Jibril, making him scream in pain and then in pleasure; first in denial, then in ecstasy. I had that pretty little head of his so scrambled that after a while all I had to do was call him like a dog and he would come, craving my touch.}  
Castiel's blue eyes went wide and he reeled in disgust and horror. "You're insane. How could be so sick? So cruel?"  
Xaphanel pulled back and gripped the angel's chin tight in his hand, those claws making feather light scratches across the angel's skin. {I am exactly the way that Raphael made me; nothing more, nothing less. If you have a problem with it then you can take it up with him. Oh! That's right. You were the one that killed him. You are the one I owe my freedom to. By killing Raphael, you freed me from my confinement. So consider me keeping you here and unharmed as my way of saying thank you for allowing me to go after Jibril once more.}  
The dark haired angel pulled his chin away from the demon. "Why do you call him that? His name is Gabriel!"  
The demon let out a chuckle and moved away going over to the fireplace and piling the wood to make a fire. {Why did Lucifer call him 'Gabby' and those humans call him 'Gabe'? They are nick names are they not? When I first met Jibril, I had no idea of his name and my Master only called him 'whore'. It wasn't until he was freed that I ever heard him called anything else. Two gods called Bast and Sekhmet came and broke into where we were keeping him. They called him that so I figured that was his name. It wasn't until a later meeting with him that my Master told me his true name but by then I was already used to calling him that so I never bothered to correct myself. The pain that rises in him when he hears me call him that is a nice bonus.}  
"You will never lay another hand on my brother ever again!" Castiel declared throwing himself against the chains, making the demon turn to watch him.  
{To which brother would you be referring to?} Xaphanel asked turning away to light the fire before turning back. {Because while I do have Jibril in my sights, right now my attention has been...diverted away from him, for a lack of a better term. Until that diversion is taken away from me, Jibril is safe. I entered into a contract in doing so.}  
Castiel glared. "I don't believe you. No angel would enter into a contract with a demon!"  
Xaphanel was suddenly on the dark haired angel, pinning him against the wall, pressing their bodies together. {Why do you refuse to believe it? Tell me, didn't you come here tracking something? Or perhaps someone?}  
Blue eyes went wide, understanding finally reaching him. He was given the message Michael had sent out with one of their fallen brothers. That message had led him to this place. A run down cabin in the middle of no where protected by angelic and demonic sigils. A place where blood and Michael's feathers were and where Xaphanel was making his home. Michael wasn't disappearing to look for Xaphanel every week; he was meeting with the demon. Michael had made a deal with Xaphanel to protect Gabriel.  
"What are you doing to Michael?" Castiel whispered, almost afraid to know.  
Xaphanel's tongue slid out and he licked his lips, black saliva coating his tongue. {Whatever I want. That was the deal. He comes to me once a week. I torture him, feed from him, take pleasure in his pain, then send him on his way when I'm done. He makes a wonderful pet even if he is stubborn and disobedient. I haven't broken him yet but I do look forward to the time when it happens.}  
Castiel swallowed hard, fear gripping him even if he wasn't going to admit it. "Are you going to do the same thing to me?"  
{I haven't decided yet. Right now I am quite entertained by you. Such pride and such love in you.} Xaphanel said pulling back. {I like you.}  
"I'm not sure how I feel about that." Castiel told the demon, hoping that he would get off of him.  
{If I were you, I'd be flattered. I've never kept someone that I didn't intend on feeding from.} the demon admitted. {But I do realize that I can't keep you no how much I want too. I just need to figure out how to get rid of you without damaging you.} The purple demon said finally pulling away from his captive. {You should thank Jibril for being such a good healer. His memories have given me ample knowledge or ways to do so.}  
"So you do intend to kill me." Castiel said, his mind turning to Dean.  
{Weren't you listening? I like you. I don't want you dead.} The demon said with a chuckle. {I just need a way to make sure that you don't remember how to get here. That might take some doing. I might just have to go about this the messy way and dig myself past those lovely blue eyes of yours to that fascinating mind within and rip the information from you.}  
Castiel stiffened but the demon just turned back towards the fire and began to heat the stew that was there. Looking up at the chains he tested his bonds again but nothing had changed. The sigils binding him hadn't weakened. He was trapped with this demon who, even though the thing claimed to like him, was going to rip apart his mind in an effort to keep himself hidden. He could only hope that Michael would come soon so he could get back to Dean.

 

"I've used every spell I have. I can't find him." Lucifer said. "I don't know what else to say other then I'm sorry, Dean."  
The eldest Winchester kicked the chair in front of him, sending it skidding across the floor only to have Michael catch it before it broke and earn a scolding. "That isn't going to help matters Dean."  
"Maybe not but it'll make me feel better." The hunter spat. "So what? Your angel mojo is broken then? Why isn't this working?"  
"Calm down Dean." Sam said. "Chuck said he was going to try and find him. Maybe he can bring Cas home."  
"I can't." Chuck said as he appeared. "It's like looking for Gabriel all over again. I can't sense him and every spell I've tried is useless."  
"We need to find him. If Xaphanel gets to him then there's no telling how bad Cas is going to be hurt." Dean said. "This sucks!"  
"Good thing I know a way to make it suck less." Gabriel said coming back into the room with a rather heavy looking white stone basin and his duffle slung over his shoulder. "Can I get a hand please? This thing is heavier then it looks and I'm still partially bound here!"  
Lucifer rushed forward and took the bowl and sat it on the table and the wood gave an ominous creak as the smaller blonde sat his bag next to it. As the Morningstar eyed the table warily Gabriel came forward with a piece of chalk from his bag. The Fourth Born quickly began drawing out sets of symbols across the floor in a circle mutter under his breath as he did so, making the chalk glow. Soon there was a rather large and intricate looking almost fire shaped drawing made of strange symbols.  
"Okay Luci. Put the bowl in the center and then we're going to have to step back. No angels allowed." Gabriel said, wiping away the sweat that had gathered on his brow.  
Lucifer did as he was told but Sam was looking worriedly over the angel. "Gabe? Are you okay?"  
"Yes and no. It's been a while since I've acted in my full capabilites as Loki." The blonde replied. "Okay. I made a summoning shrine for calling on Loki and I need a mortal to perform this next bit. So who is going to do it?"  
"I will." Dean said. "Cas is...Cas is my mate." Dean whispered, drawing shocked expressions from almost everyone. "We mated not too long before Lucifer was set free the first time. We kept it a secret because we were afraid of the wrong people finding out."  
Gabriel shook his head. "It's okay Dean. I knew about it. I could tell from the minute I locked you in my tv land. Which is why I am doing it this way. So are you ready to find your mate?"  
Dean nodded and Gabriel began going through his bag and pulled out bundles of something in white clothe and passed them to the hunter. "What is all this shit?"  
"This 'shit' is going to help us find Cassie. You are going to need to open these herbs and put them in the bowl, one at a time and in a certain order. I'll walk you through it. We've only got one chance at this okay? My pagan powers are very limited and I'm going to have to give it all I've got." Gabriel said. "So are you ready to do this?"  
Dean frowned. "What am I doing exactly?"  
"You are going to offer a sacrifice to Loki in exchange for finding Cassie." Gabriel said, passing him a gold knife.  
"I don't have anything to give." The hunter said, gaining a deer in headlights look.  
"Give me." Sam said suddenly. "I'll be the offering. Use me."  
Gabriel stood straighter at that, his face unreadable. "You sure? That means that I claim your soul when you die. You realize that right?"  
Sam nodded. "I rather you have it anyway."  
Gabriel turned to Dean but the hunter was staring at his brother until he nodded. "Okay. If you're sure about this Sammy."  
"I am." Sam said confidently.  
Dean moved towards the bowl. "Alright Gabe. Talk to me."  
"Okay normally you'd need three witches to do this but I am giving you the old way." Gabriel said. "First you're going to need to take the aster and place it in the bowl, followed by the boneset, then finally the yarrow. Then mix those up well. After that use the knife and add three drops of your blood. Once that is done use the clothe to bind your hand. Then use the match and lit the ingredients. Finally your spell is this 'I call forth the one in green, To come forth and be seen, Be he far or be he near, Bring me the Trickster, Loki, here. Can you remember all that?"  
Dean gave him a dirty look.  
"Just remember that I am not going to be Gabriel when you summon me. I'm going to be Loki and as such I'm going to be a bit different and I have to adhere to pagan rules. I'm sorry." Gabriel said.  
Kneeling down in the markings Dean opened and added each plant then began mixing them. He hissed as he cut his palm and added the blood but quickly bound it with the clothe. Not knowing exactly what to expect he stayed where he was and lit the match before throwing into the bowl, shocked to see the flames glowing green.  
"I call forth the one in green, To come forth and be seen, Be he far or be he near, Bring me the Trickster, Loki, here." Dean called out clearly.  
The fire let out a huge puff of smoke and he heard Sam gasp before he looked up to see Gabriel-no, Gabriel had never looked that dark or insane- before him.  
"So a mortal does summon me." Loki said, his oddly green and amber flecked gaze staring down at the hunter as if he was worthless. "So tell me what boon do you seek from me?"  
Dean hesitated at the insanity he could clearly hear in the pagan god's voice. "I...I need to know how to find my mate."  
"Have you tired your bed chambers?" The god asked with a grin. "Or possibly mine?"  
Dean glared but held his tongue, remembering what Gabriel had said. "He's been missing for a week and I think he's in trouble."  
"Trouble in paradise then? How sad. Maybe you should ask me for a better weapon to wield in bed." Loki teased. "So you ask for my boon but what do you offer me in exchange? I cannot freely give that which you ask of me. What is your sacrifice?"  
Dean reached out and took Sam's hand, pulling him into the markings as well. "I give you my brother, Sam."  
Those eyes seemed to narrow before Loki nodded. "I see. Your lover is worth more then your blood then? I would hate to be part of your family. I accept your gift, however, and will grant you what you seek in exchange. Our deal is set mortal and the bargain struck. May you find that which you seek."  
The smoke grew again and Loki vanished in it before it dispersed. Gabriel was nowhere is sight and Sam began to panic until he heard a groan from the other side of the table. Sam rushed to the angel's side, shocked to see the blood coming from his nose and ears. Sam knelt down and pulled Gabriel into his arms and held him even as Lucifer and Chuck rushed to heal him.  
"What the hell?" Dean asked coming over as well.  
Gabriel stared up at the hunter. "I'm s-sorry I s-said those t-things Dean."  
"No I get. Loki was a dick and you were Loki. It's fine. I'm more worried about you. Are you alright?" The hunter asked.  
Chuck ran his hands gently over his son. "He'll be fine Dean. His pagan strength was just weak because of the lack of believers. I promise."  
"Yeah but was it worth it?" Dean asking taking in the angel's pale and shaking frame. "I mean after all that did it actually work?"  
The blonde grinned. "C-Check the b-bowl."  
Dean frowned but went back to over to the bowl. The herbs had burned away to nothing leaving behind only black scorch marks on the white stone. Tilting his head a bit Dean realized that the marks were more then just marks. The spell had worked! There were coordinates of latitude and longitude in the bowl. Dean stood and went back over, intent on thanking the angel but to his dismay, Gabriel was passed out in Sam's arms.  
"It worked." Dean said softly. "I can't believe it worked."  
"Where does it say he is?" Michael asked.  
"It just gave coordinates. They're in the bowl." Dean said.  
Michael went over and looked into the bowl, his blue eyes widening as he read and he took a minute to compose himself he came back over. "I'm going to go check out the location that Gabriel gave us. It shouldn't take long."  
Lucifer looked up at that, realizing that his mate intended to go alone. "You don't want me to come? What if Xaphanel is there? Two archangels are better then one."  
"No." Michael said sharply. "I want you to stay here and look after Gabby. I'll be back."  
With that the First Born was gone, leaving his family wondering about his sudden change in attitude.


	20. Pain All Around

**Chapter 19: Pain All Around**

Michael stumbled, nearly crashing as he landed near the cabin, his heart hammering in his chest. As God's Warrior Michael had rarely known fear. Fear was not something that he ever thought he would ever feel. He was God's First Born and as such Michael thought that he was immune to most base emotions. Oh how he had wished that had been true. He had been blessed with feeling; first with his love for Lucifer, then for his other brothers, then fear came only a few years later and it would make him wish that he never felt it.  
The first time he felt fear was during the First War. He had been mortally wounded and Gabriel, who was then at a tender age of only ten, had struggled to keep him alive until their Father had shown up. The next time he felt it was when he had faced down Lucifer and cast him into the Cage; the fear he felt then was at losing a lover for both himself, who kept his love secret, and Gabriel, who was actually dating the Morningstar. Michael hadn't felt fear again until he had been locked in the Cage with Lucifer. Seeing the angel he loved break down in a pure blind fear, crying and unable to draw a proper breath, had shaken Michael to the core. He felt it again only recently, when Gabriel had gone after Xaphanel.  
Now only a few months later he was feeling it again. He didn't know how afraid he could feel until he saw the coordinates in that white bowl. Being at Xaphanel's mercy one a week, along with seeing what he had done to both Gabriel and Crowley in just a few scant hours, gave him a sense of fear at finding out what state his younger brother might be in, if he was still alive at all. Castiel was only a seraph, despite being trained by archangel, and with his weaker power Xaphanel could easily destroy the angel without even trying. Michael had to take a breath to calm himself; if Castiel was dead then Dean would have felt it. Their mating bond would have been severed with the younger angel's death but the hunter had felt nothing and that gave him hope.  
Michael rushed to the cabin and flung the door open. The First Born wasn't sure what he expected, possibly some gruesome scene with the demon torturing the dark haired angel or worse. What he wasn't prepared for was seeing the trench coat clad angel, sprawled face down on the cabin floor. Michael rushed forward, falling to his knees as soon as he was close. He pulled the younger into his arms, checking him over for injuries but he found none.  
"Castiel!" Michael called giving him a little shake worrying about the shallow breathing and weak pulse he could detect. "Castiel! Castiel wake up!"  
{That's not going to work.} Xaphanel said, stepping from the shadowed corner of the room.  
Michael glared at the demon, unintentionally pulling Castiel closer. "What did you do to him?!"  
{Nothing. I didn't even feed from him. He doesn't have a scratch on him.} The demon replied, his sightless face staring at them. {I like him.}  
"If you did nothing then why isn't he waking?" Michael demanded.  
{I had to protect myself so I went into his mind and erased the location of this place from his mind. He'll have a bit of a headache but he'll be fine once he wakes up.} Xapahanel said. {Jibril's knowledge of herbs has served me well. Jibril will know how to wake him.}  
The First Born felt anger rise up in him. "Are you asking me to bring Gabriel here?"  
The demon shook his head. {Not at all. I'm not going to risk losing my free meal ticket.}  
Michael gripped the coat under his fingers tighter. "So then you'll let me take him back then? He needs help."  
{Do you know what today is Michael?} Xaphanel asked, and the angel shook his head. {It's midnight my dear. That makes it a Sunday, now leave Castiel to his rest. Get on the bed and take your shirt off. I'm hungry.}  
The First Born's eyes went wide. "Xaphanel please. I'll be right back if you just let me get Castiel back to my brothers."  
{Castiel will be fine. I did swear to you that I would hurt only you didn't I? He's just in a deep sleep and he'll stay that way until Jibril wakes him. As I said before I like this one. He's different from Jibril, not what I expected at all. I enjoyed exchanging words with him.} Xaphanel said stepping closer and making Michael pull away.  
"I'm asking you to please let me take Castiel back home." Michael pleaded.  
Xaphanel was suddenly digging his claws into the blonde angel's shoulder. {I thought I gave you an order. I told you to get on the bed and to take your shirt off, didn't I? I'm sure you don't want me to do it for you. That didn't end well the first time for you, if you remember.}  
Blue eyes narrowed into a glare. "I remember."  
{Good. Then let go of Castiel and do as you are told. Unless you want me to wake him and let him see exactly what we've been doing together.}  
Michael let out a growl. Knowing that he had no choice he picked Castiel up and gently laid the angel out on the fur rug near the wall. Making sure that Castiel wouldn't be in harm's way he grabbed a spare blanket and laid it over his brother. Giving the dark haired angel a kiss on the cheek, Michael made sure that Castiel was facing the wall before standing.  
"Don't worry Castiel. I'll make sure you make it home safe. I promise." Michael whispered before reaching up to shed out of his jacket and shirt.

 

"He looks horrible." Dean said, taking in the pale angel laying against Sam on the couch; he'd been like that since last night. "Chuck are you sure Gabriel's okay? He looks worse then when we found him."  
Chuck came over and ran his hand over his son's cheek. "What he did was something I didn't think possible. Gabriel drew on his bound Grace and used it as...as a battery if you will. He used it in place of having actual worshipers. Make no mistake what he used was nothing less then Pagan Magics but he did it at a great risk."  
Sam, who had been looking at the bags under the angel's eyes, looked up at that. "Would it have been better if he actually had followers?"  
Chuck nodded. "Loki has followers but they don't actively worship. That's what makes a difference. He needs people to pray to him to power the magics."  
"Can I ask a favor then?" Sam asked. "There's a room just down the hall from the library. It's fairly large and empty."  
God couldn't help but laugh at what the hunter was asking for. "I'll get it set up for you. I'll just move his temple to that room. Will that work?"  
Sam nodded and looked down, feeling Gabriel shift. "Gabe? You awake?"  
"Shhh...Headache." The angel frowned. "Actually everything hurts."  
Chuck came over and ran his hands along Gabriel's back, letting his power heal the youngest archangel. "How's that feel? Any better?"  
Gabriel nodded but he was still pale. "Yeah. Thanks Dad."  
"You're lucky that didn't back fire on you Gabriel." Chuck scolded. "That was risky."  
Gabriel sat up suddenly, his eyes wide. "The spell. Did it work? Was I able to do it?"  
Sam pulled the swaying angel back down to the couch. "It's fine. It worked. You scared us but it worked. Lucifer's been a wreck. He's been in the kitchen cooking ever since Michael left."  
The archangel frowned at that. "Lucifer is still here? He didn't go with Michael?"  
Sam shook his head. "No. Michael actually snapped at him when he left. He said he wanted Lucifer to take care of you."  
Gabriel went to go stand but his legs were shaky. "Damn."  
"What do you need?" The younger Winchester asked.  
"I need to go talk to Lucifer. Something happened between him and Michael and I want to know what." The blonde said.  
"You sure that's a good idea?" Dean asked. "I mean he seemed pretty upset and told us not to go in there."  
"I know this is hard to understand but Lucifer needs me." Gabriel said. "We were together for almost five hundred years. I know him better then anyone. When Luci says he wants to be left alone, he's really screaming for someone to be there for him. Right now he needs someone who understands."  
"Understands what?" Dean asked.  
Gabriel hung his head. "Someone who understands what it's like having your soul mate pull away from you and refuse to talk to you."  
Sam suddenly pulled Gabriel into his arms and stood, carrying him, much to Dean and Chuck's shock. Gabriel let out a fearful noise at the sudden move and buried his face in the tall hunter's neck. Sam let out a soft smile and kissed the top of his head as he carried him down the hall. Gabriel looked up and Sam stopped for a second to give the angel an actual kiss before continuing on to the kitchen, where he was met with a closed door. Tightening his grip, Sam managed to kick the handle, making the door open and slam against the wall.  
Lucifer jumped and turned to yell at whoever was breaking into his kitchen only to freeze at seeing Gabriel in Sam's arms. "What are you doing?"  
Sam nodded. "Grab that stool and move it next to the stove would you?"  
The Morningstar grabbed it and did as he was asked, frowning when his vessel sat his brother down on it. "Again, what are you doing?"  
Sam ignored the devil. "Need anything else Gabe? Like a blanket?"  
Gabriel shook his head. "No. I'm okay Sam. And thank you, for doing this. For understanding."  
The hunter nodded and moved away, going over to the music player and turning it on for the two. "I'm going to grab my laptop. Take your time okay? Both of you."  
Lucifer watched the human leave with confused blue eyes before turning back to his brother. "What just happened?"  
"I said you needed me." Gabriel said with a smile. "So Sam brought me to you. He'll be back in a few minutes to join us in case I need anything."  
Lucifer turned away and back to the pot on the stove. "I asked to be left alone."  
"So I heard."  
"Then have Sam take you to his room." The devil said reaching for his ladle.  
Gabriel grabbed his wrist and held it tight. "Don't Luci. Don't pull away from me. We promised. We promised to be there if we ever needed each other. I'm here now. Don't shut me out."  
"You have your own problems to worry about Gabb-" Lucifer cut himself off; he couldn't call Gabriel that any more, not after what he did. "You should focus on yourself. You need to heal."  
"How can I heal myself when all can see is stone gray sadness and deep blue sorrow when I look at you? It's my job to heal. Let me help." Gabriel asked softly.  
The damn broke. Lucifer let out a sob and Gabriel pulled him in for a hug. It didn't take long for the Second Born to cry himself out and compose himself. Pulling away, the Morningstar turned back to his cooking and this time the Fourth Born let him. Lucifer smiled and got a spoonful of what turned out to be chili and offered it to Gabriel.  
The smaller blonde smiled as well and took the offered taste. "Not bad. Could use a bit more salt. So want to talk?"  
Lucifer added the afore mentioned seasoning. "What happened after you left my room? I looked for you. I was worried."  
Gabriel sighed. "You were right to be. I went to Sam's room. I...I got more Devil's Claw. I didn't want to get high, I just wanted to take the edge off. So I took a quarter of a petal. Sam walked in just as I took it. He was furious."  
"I'm sorry I drove you to that." Lucifer said, staring into the pot.  
"I know you are. All the flowers and chocolates were a big hint. Needless to say I got too upset and started having a panic attack and Sam snapped me out of it by kissing me." Gabriel said with a chuckle. "It almost made me wonder if you taught him that."  
The taller blonde shrugged. "It works doesn't it?"  
"Yeah. So after that we had sex. I think were slowly heading back towards each other." Gabriel said. "Now that I told you about me it's your turn."  
The oven let out a ping and Lucifer grabbed a set of oven mits. Opening the appliance the devil reached in and pulled out, not one but four, fresh pies. Setting each one on the cooling racks on the counter Lucifer took a toothpick and made sure they were done before putting the four waiting pies in. Gabriel waited patiently, knowing that his brother wasn't stalling, but instead taking the time to get his thoughts in order.  
He was right when the Morningstar turned to look at him, pain clear on his face. "Do...Do you think I rushed into my mating with Michael?"  
"How long did the two of you court for down in the Cage?"  
"Four hundred years. He insisted on not waiting the standard eight hundred." Lucifer said. "I was hesitant to say yes to him in the first place."  
Gabriel frowned as he eyed the pies and Lucifer passed him a bowl that was half filled with the extra pie fillings. "Why?" He asked digging into the butterscotch first.  
"Because...Because I knew that someday our Father would need His Warrior once more and I would be left alone. When Dad showed up I almost had a panic attack. I was sure that I was going to lose him like I lost you. The Cage opened and Michael rushed out to hug him and all I could do was stand there and try not to cry." Lucifer admitted softly. "I finally couldn't stand their smiles and turned away. I didn't want to see them leave me there. When Michael touched me I started babbling at him in Lucifian, telling him all the things I could never say out loud. I told him how much I loved him, how scared I was that he was leaving, how I wished I could go with him, how sorry I was for hurting him. I just couldn't stop myself. I broke down."  
"Why didn't you ever send one of your demons to me?" Gabriel asked. "You know I would have come in a heartbeat."  
"I was afraid to find out if you hated me." Lucifer said turning to look at him.  
Gabriel reached up and placed a kiss on the Second Born's cheek. "I could never hate you. Not after everything the two of us went through. So what's going on between you and Michael?"  
"I told him about that night. About what I said to you." Lucifer said, turning back to his pot. "He was furious with me. He yelled. Told me that you could have started taking Devil's Claw again or started cutting and we'd have no way of knowing if you were hurt or if you had hurt Sam. I tried to explain things and when I called you by your nick name he said that I lost the right to call you that. That's when I tried to talk to him about his injuries and he told me it was none of my business. He left after that."  
"I see yellow Lucifer. What else did he say?" Gabriel pressed. "And unless I tell you otherwise you are always allowed to call me 'Gabby'. Is that understood?"  
Lucifer swallowed hard and turned to his younger brother, unable to hide his shaking. "He said that my only concern should be staying on his good side and that where he goes and what he does is not my business. He told me if I ever hurt you or questioned him like that again then...He was going to throw me back into the Cage. That it didn't matter that he was my mate because he'd do it anyway."  
"That stupid son of a bitch! He better hope I don't start feeling better any time soon." Gabriel said. "Next time I see that bastard I am going to punch him in the face, Bound or not!"  
Lucifer shook his head and pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to the younger angel. "You might not have to worry about it much longer."  
Gabriel stared at the bracelet in his hands, taking in the fine platinum, the perfect cut sapphires, and the flawless diamond containing a single feather, before looking up at his brother with worry. "This is your mating charm. Why aren't you wearing it?"  
"I took it off the night we fought." Lucifer said turning away. "I haven't put it back on since. I feel like I'm just waiting for him to say good bye. He won't talk to me, he won't trust me, and it seems like all I do lately is make him mad. I've already talked to dad about it. He says he'll stand by my choice."  
Gabriel sat the bracelet down on the counter next to his now empty bowl. "I'm sorry Luci. I know how much you loved him."  
"'Loved'? That would imply that I could stop." Lucifer said with a bitter smile. "I never stopped loving him even when I was with you."  
"I know. I held part of your heart while he held the rest. I understood that and accepted it. You told me that you weren't sure if you could love me when you said yes." Gabriel said. "I choose to go after you anyway. I was just lucky that you fell in love with me too."  
"More like stubborn." Lucifer said with a smile. "You never did like being told no. Every day you were waiting for me with something new. Flowers, candy, or some odd little delicacy from where ever you'd gone off to that day."  
"I had to make sure you knew I was telling the truth." Gabriel said with a smile. "You were still worth it."  
"So he did that to you too huh?" Sam asked, making both angels jump a foot. "I didn't realize you were that stubborn."  
Gabriel smiled. "When I see something I like I make sure that it's known."  
"Is that why you keep gummies under my pillow?" Sam asked with a grin.  
"He does that to you too, Sam?" Lucifer asked suddenly before turning to Sam. "My first vessel had dark hair. I wore it long and it was curly until I woke up one morning with melted gummies in my hair. I ended up having to cut it so short that it was almost buzzed."  
Sam suddenly turned to the youngest archangel. "When we head back to my room, your bag of gummies are going in the nightstand."  
Gabriel looked horrified and Sam and Lucifer couldn't help but laugh.

 

Xaphanel lifted Castiel a bit higher on his shoulder, making sure that the angel wouldn't fall off. Once sure that the dark angel was secure he reached down grabbed Michael by the wings and began pulling him along the rough pavement drawing weak moans from the First Born. He wasn't going to hurt Jibril physically but that didn't mean that he couldn't have some fun. It was such a shame that he couldn't get into Jibril's little hide away.  
With a sick grin he dropped Michael and looked at the place he had found in Castiel's mind. He was standing right outside the garage, after all it wouldn't do any good if his audience couldn't see him performance properly. Now all he had to do was knock. With a sick grin he laid his burden down gently and then wrapped his tail around the blonde's neck and picked him up. Grin growing, Xaphanel lined up his shot; he was going to knock so hard that it was going to make Jibril regret escaping from him.


	21. The Calvery Has Arrived

**Chapter 20: The Calvary Has Arrived**

Lucifer caught Gabriel as he was knocked from his seat by the alarms that began blaring. Sam stood and rushed over to them. Lucifer passed his brother off to Sam and pulled out his cell phone and quickly sent the emergency message to Crowley. The demon appeared and looked around at the lights.  
"You having a party?!" The demon asked, reaching out to steady Gabriel.  
"No! Emergency! We need to get to Dean and Chuck!" Sam yelled over the alarms.  
Lucifer reached out and grabbed Sam, while Crowley took Gabriel and they appeared in the main hub. Dean was already looking things over with Chuck and Sam rushed over to help. It didn't take long until Sam found the source. It seemed like something had struck the garage doors but whatever it was wasn't in the frame anymore. Sam turned off the alarms and double checked but it seemed like the building was still secure.  
"There's nothing." Sam said.  
Dean eyed the controls. "False alarm maybe?"  
"No." Came a whimper from behind them.  
"Guys! Get over here now!" Crowley snapped.  
Gabriel was sitting on the floor, small whimpers of pain escaping him. Crowley was kneeling next to him, lifting the sleeve of the angel's shirt. A dark blue mark was pulsing on the inside of the angel's arm. Lucifer placed his hand over the mark and flinched at the cold emanating from it which was saying something considering that he burned cold himself. Lucifer let his Grace touch the mark and realized that it was a claim brand. Thinking quickly the Devil cast the counter spell, watching as the mark first darkened, then faded away from Gabriel's skin. Gabriel slumped against the Morningstar, shaking with relief and fear.  
"Shit! Gabe are you okay?" Sam asked rushing over to them.  
"No! He's here. He's here Sam. I could feel him." Gabriel said, his voice shaky. "Xaphanel is here. He's after me. If he's here then Mike and Cassie are-"  
"No!" Lucifer said giving him a shake. "You can't think like that Gabby. They're both still alive okay? I'm going to go out there and I'm going to force him to give us back our brothers. Then I am going to rip his head from his body."  
Gabriel shook his head, tears falling. "Please don't go Luci, please don't! I can't lose you too!"  
Lucifer pulled his brother into a hug. "You are not going to lose me. I swear it on my Grace. I just have to go out there and get them okay?"  
Lucifer pulled away and Gabriel nearly flew into a panic and Crowley was the only reason the blonde didn't go tearing after his brother. "NO! LUCIFER! PLEASE DON'T GO!"  
Sam turned to look and Dean and his brother nodded. They both had the same idea. Sam pulled Gabriel up from Crowley's hold and rushed out after Lucifer towards the garage. Dean grabbed Chuck and Crowley and pulled them along, making a quick stop to grab a pair of guns before following them. When they got there Lucifer was staring at the door, looking as though he had seen a ghost.  
Dean rushed over. "You okay?"  
"I heard...I heard Michael scream." The Morningstar said.  
Dean let out a vivid curse. Sam passed Gabriel back to Crowley, who took the weakened angel without complaint. Chuck moved and went to stand next to Lucifer, trying to comfort his son by placing a hand on his arm. Sam moved over to the doors, taking the spare gun Dean had grabbed, and tucked it in his jeans. Just as Sam was about to open the door another scream rang out.  
"Michael..." Lucifer whispered.  
Sam turned to look over at Dean, who's face was set in a pissed off glare. Not knowing what to expect, Dean counted to three and pulled open the doors. Dean and Sam took aim but Sam had to drop his gun and grab for Dean as his brother practically leapt towards Xaphanel, possibly intending on beating the demon to death. Sam was dimly aware of hearing a strangled noise from behind him and Chuck saying something but all he could focus on was the sight before him.  
Castiel was unconscious and laying at Xaphanel's feet with the demon standing over him. The dark haired angel seemed unharmed but it was hard to tell with the way the demon was standing over him. Michael's wings were out but they were in horrible shape, feathers were burned, bent, and there were large bald spots in some places. His shirt was gone and his torso and arms were covered in horrible cuts, claw marks, burns, and dark bruises. Unlike Castiel, Michael was conscious and struggling weakly against the demon holding him.  
Xaphanel grinned as his attention turned to the garage, letting go Michael and letting the angel landed face first on the pavement. {Oh good. I was getting tired of waiting. Hello Jibril. How have you been? You certainly seem better then the last time we met. Much healthier.}  
Gabriel tried to rush forward but Crowley held him fast. "Let them go!"  
{Certainly. Just come out here and get them if you want them so bad.} Xaphanel teased.  
"Nobody move!" Chuck said, his voice full of authority, as he easily held Lucifer in place with a firm hand on his shoulder. "This is nothing more then a trap!"  
"We can't just leave them out there!" Dean snapped, trying to get out of Sam's hold. "Look what he's done to Michael!"  
"We need to think about this Dean! Who knows what will happen if we go out there?!" Sam said dragging his brother further away from the doors.  
The demon's tail swung around as he smirked and slammed into Michael's back, pulling a scream from the angel as the skin on his back split open under the force of the blow. {This happens.}  
Lucifer let out an angry growl and reached for Michael but Chuck held firm and the devil didn't budge an inch. "No!"  
"MICHAEL!" Gabriel screamed fighting tooth and nail against Crowley. "LET HIM GO!"  
{Come and get him Jibril. Show me that fighting spirit that I remember so well.}  
"You sick bastard!" Gabriel snapped.  
{I'll make you a deal. Come out here and say hello to me and I'll let them go without further harm.} Xaphanel said with a sick smile.  
Gabriel surged forward again but this time Crowley lost his grip. Gabriel made it almost to the door before the King of Hell managed to grab him again, keeping the blonde in the safety of the bunker. The blonde fought harder and a green glow enveloped his fingers making Crowley let out a curse every time those fingers found his skin. Gabriel's sights however were set firmly on the purple demon.  
Xaphanel suddenly lifted a clawed foot and placed it on Michael's back and slowly dug his talons in pulling another scream from the First Born.  
"NO!" Gabriel screamed. "Please stop it!"  
{Then come here.} Xaphanel said. {Now. Unless you want me to shred him.}  
Gabriel suddenly elbowed Crowley hard in the ribs, making the demon drop. Gabriel rushed to the door and stopped just outside of it. Bringing his fingers to his lips the Fourth Born let out a loud whistle that echoed making the woods around them go still. Crowley made it to the doors just in time to grab Gabriel and pull him back into the garage just as Xaphanel's tail swung, missing grabbing the angel by only a few inches.  
"You're nuts!" Crowley said pulling the angel further into the building.  
"No! Let me go Crowley! I need to help them!" Gabriel said, fighting as the Scotsman managed to pin his arms to his side.  
"You getting caught isn't going to help them!" The demon told him.  
The loud neigh of a horse rang out through the silent woods and it made Gabriel stop struggling. "They're came! I can't believe it!"  
The sound rang out again accompanied by the sound of heavy hoof beats. Gabriel let out a happy laugh and as he did a ringing howl rang out. Xaphanel froze and went on guard removing his foot from Michael's back and standing more overtop of Castiel again. Out of the woods came a large white horse with eight legs and a dark mane. The horse reared and kicked making Xaphanel take a step back. On the opposite side of the woods a huge silver wolf emerged and released another howl. It took everyone a minute to realize that the two were waiting for something else. That something else became very clear when a huge green snake rose up from behind Xaphanel and let out a loud hiss revealing two three foot long fangs dripping with venom.  
Xaphanel suddenly turned to face Gabriel with a glare. {What have you done?!}  
Gabriel let out a laugh but it didn't sound like any sound they had heard the angel make before. "These are the Children of Loki. They don't take kindly to anyone threatening me."  
Dean turned to look at Gabriel and shrugged Sam off. "What the hell?"  
Sam was the one who understood. "Norse mythology Loki had many children but the three he's most famous for are the serpent Jörmungandr, the horse Sleipnir, and the wolf Fenrir. If I'm right, Gabriel just summoned his kids."  
There was a low growl and Fenrir took a step, his heckles raises and teeth gleaming. While Xaphanel's focused on the large canine's approach, Sleipnir pawed the ground before changing at the demon. The horse ducked it's great head and reared up as it approached, catching Xaphanel hard in the back and fling the demon a goo twenty feet away. The demon let out a hiss and got to his feet where he was promptly met by a very pissed off stallion.  
Fenrir took his chance and ran forward. The great wolf picked up Castiel by the back of the angel's trench coat. Jörmungandr slithered forward, wrapping his great green coils around the angel hiding him in his scales. The wolf then went to Michael, head butting and nuzzling the archangel until he was able to stand. Fenrir laid down and nuzzled his way under the angel and, once certain that Micahel had a grip on him, let out a howl once more.  
Jörmungandr shot forward, quick as lightening and headed right for the garage doors. Everyone scrambled to move out of the way and the great snake, once inside, curled up at the back of the room, hiding Castiel within his curled up form. Fenrir was next following his brother with quick moves. The wolf jumped into the center of his brother's coiled body and was gone from sight.  
Sam got to his feet and rushed to the doors. "Dean! Get the other door!"  
Dean nodded and helped his brother start to close the doors. "Gabe! Tell him to hurry!"  
Gabriel yelled out something in Norse at the stallion outside. Sleipnir reared and caught Xaphanel in the chest sending him to the dirt. With a loud neigh the eight legged horse turned and charged towards the doors. Xaphanel, angry that his plan had failed, let out a scream of rage and suddenly appeared behind the horse. The demon swiped and managed to claw the horse's right flank open and Sleipnir responded in kind by using his four back legs to kick the demon in the chest with a sickening crunch, before rushing into the garage, with Sam and Dean quickly closing the doors and locking them behind the stallion.  
Gabriel pulled away from Crowley and rushed to check on the horse. "Sleip! You're hurt!"  
The horse let out a small noise and then leaned it's head down and shoved Gabriel hard in the direction of the huge snake.  
"But your leg! I have to-"  
The horse shoved Gabriel harder and the angel looked torn. Chuck, seeing his son's pain, came forward and placed his hand on Sleipnir, slowly healing the horse. Gabriel nodded this thanks and rushed to the back of the room as quick as he could. Jörmungandr lowered his great head and his tongue flicked out and caressed Gabriel's face as he came closer before uncoiling from around those he was protecting.  
Castiel was resting against those giant green scales, his face relaxed and appearing unpained. Michael was also resting again those scales but Fenrir was sitting next to him. The large wolf was carefully licking the blonde's body, removing the blood from his heavily wounded frame. Jörmungandr lifted his great body up and Gabriel went in and headed straight for his older brother.  
"Michael! Hang on. I can help. Just let me-" Gabriel went to take off his sigil cuff when Michael reached out and placed a hand over him.  
"I'm alright for now. Help Castiel. Xaphanel did something to him." Michael said softly, his voice nearly as weak as his Grace.  
Gabriel hesitated but nodded and turned to Castiel only to find that Dean had joined him and was holding the angel close to his chest and looking almost panicked. "Dean?"  
The hunter looked up. "He won't wake. Nothing is working. He's not hurt be he's not waking."  
Gabriel moved closer and began gently checking the younger angel over; there were no wounds but Castiel's breathing was shallow and his pulse was also weak. "He seems okay. No injuries. He's not hurt at all."  
"Xaphanel said...that Castiel won't wake up until you let him." Michael weakly revealed, as Lucifer joined them, followed closely by Sam. "He wouldn't tell me what he used on him."  
Gabriel's gold eyes narrowed. "He doesn't have too. That sick bastard. Dean help me open Castiel's mouth."  
Dean did as he was asked and helped open his mate's slack mouth. Gabriel carefully reach in and ran his fingers under the angel's tongue. Pulling back the blonde held up what looked like a small black pearl. The Fourth Born threw the object down in disgust and it shattered, turning into dust. Turning back Gabriel cupped Castiel's face in his hand and gently rubbed his cheeks.  
"Come on Cassie. Wake up. Come on. Open those pretty blue eyes for us Cassie." Gabriel said rubbing a bit harder. "Damn it Castiel! Wake up!"  
There was a small whimper and Dean froze as those blue eyes slowly fluttered open. Castiel looked up and seemed confused to see Gabriel sitting in front of him. The blonde let out a sigh of relief and pulled back. Frowning Castiel looked around and his confusion seemed to grow. When his eyes landed on Dean the hunter couldn't contain himself and kissed the angel hard.  
Dean pulled back and rested his head against the dark haired angel's. "Don't you ever do that again. I was scared out of my mind for the past week. Next time you go to check out something you had better damn well come and get me first you bastard!"  
Castiel, still confused and tired, nodded. "I promise."  
Gabriel turned back to Michael and realized that Lucifer seemed upset. Going back over to them the Fourth Born realized why; Michael wasn't healing. Lucifer was trying to heal him but the only wounds that showed any sign of healing were the one on his back and the bruises. Chuck and Crowley, who had joined them, both seemed to realize it as well.  
"What do we do? He's going to bleed out." Crowley asked.  
"Is it a spell?" Chuck asked, disturbed that he wasn't able to help his eldest son.  
"Not a spell." Gabriel said shaking his head. "Xaphanel stuck his tongue in the wounds. His vemon slows healing to human healing levels, sometimes even less. He didn't actually poison Michael like he did me but it's still pretty bad. There's not going to be enough time to get what I need to fix him."  
"What do we do?" Lucifer asked, tightly gripping his mate's hand.  
"Easy. I have the best source of healing outside of myself right here." Gabriel said with a smile. "Right Jör?"  
The huge snake leaned it's massive head down and opened it's mouth revealing those fangs once more. Gabriel wasted no time and pressed on one of the fangs, making a viscous yellow fluid come forth. The blonde waited until he had a handful and then reached for Michael only to be stopped by Lucifer grabbing his wrist in a tight grip, a bruise blossoming almost immediately.  
"Are you crazy Gabriel?" Lucifer asked.  
Gabriel remained calm in the face of the Morningstar's obvious worry and panic. "I know what I am doing Luci. Trust me. My calling is healing. I can help save Michael if you let me. Just summon me some bandages and start wrapping after I apply it."  
Lucifer suddenly pulled back and snapped summoning a huge pile of rolled gauze. "I'm sorry."  
Gabriel ignored him but began rubbing the venom into Michael's wounds pulling a hiss from him. "What... What is this stuff? It's warm."  
"When I made Jörmungandr and Fenrir, I did so with my healing skills in mind. Both Jör and Fen can heal in their own way. Jör can use his venom to either poison or heal. Same with Fen's saliva. I would never make a creature with the sole intent to hurt. My Norse family were shocked and somewhat upset to find that out after I got hurt and Fen healed me." Gabriel said gathering more venom to rub into Michael's wounds. "I never regretted my choice. As for why it's warm...I used a piece of my Grace to create all three of them."  
Chuck looked over the three as he helped bandage Michael and was not surprised to see that his youngest was telling the truth. "I'm proud of you Gabriel." Chuck said, making the smaller blonde pause.  
"Why?" Gabriel asked curiously.  
"For being true to yourself even when others wanted you to be someone else." Chuck said.  
Gabriel flushed and finished applying the last of the vemon and pulled away letting Lucifer and Chuck finish bandaging him. "You're going to need a day or two in order to fully. I'd like you to stay here until I can make sure that he didn't do anything else to you."  
Michael nodded. "Thank you Gabriel. And your children as well. I shudder to think what he would have done to us if they hadn't come to help."  
Gabriel leaned in and hugged his brother. "Please don't scare me like that again Mike. I don't know what I'd do if he hurt you. He's after me and if you had died then it would have been my fault."  
Michael weakly hugged the smaller blonde. "It's my job to protect you Gabby. I'd gladly die for you because I love you."  
Gabriel pulled away and realized that the First Born was in need of rest. "Lucifer? Could you take Michael and put him in the room across from Sam's? Just in case he needs me?"  
"It's fine Gabriel. I'll take care of him. You need your rest too. If anything changes I'll come and get you." Lucifer said reaching for Michael only to step back as Fenrir moved to help the First Born stand, acting as a second crutch for the wounded angel.  
Gabriel shook his head and turned to Dean and his sleepy mate. "You can take Cassie too. He's fine. He just needs to sleep it off Dean-o."  
Dean nodded and carried his almost asleep mate to their room. It was only after those four left that Gabriel gave up his facade of trying to be strong and collapsed with Chuck, Crowley, and Sam all rushing to catch him. They lowered him to the floor and Sam was horrified to see just how pale he was. Chuck allowed his power to gently run over his son and let out a sigh of relief as his color came back. Sam picked up Gabriel and held him close.  
"Take him to your room Sam. He's still not recovered from last night. I'll make a space for Gabriel's kids here." Chuck said. "We can't risk them leaving right now after what just happened. Now go rest. I'll take care of the rest."  
"Don't worry mate. We've got this handled. Just worry about yourselves." Crowley said.  
Sam nodded carried Gabriel away. Chuck waited until he was sure they were all nestled in their bed before casting a sleeping spell over them. Crowley chuckled when he realized what the deity had done. With a chuckle the two of them began to make a space in the garage for the giant snake and horse before making sure to add more safeguards to the bunker. As soon as they were done the demon turned to the diety with a questioning look on his face.  
"Tell me something. Do they even have a chance at beating this thing?" Crowley asked.  
"They do but it's going to involve more pain for Gabriel and Sam." God replied. "This is going to hurt him so bad."  
"Could this have been avoided?" The demon asked.  
"Yes. If Gabriel had never seen the symbol you found then he never would have gone after Xaphanel and the demon would have eventually weakened and been ended quickly by Sam and Dean in a confrontation after he got desperate enough to try and go after him." Chuck said. "But that didn't happen. Now all we can do is be there to catch the fallout."  
"This is going to be messy. I'll get everything ready then." Crowley said. "Least I can do to help them. They'll need it."


	22. The Beginning or End?

**Epilogue: The Beginning or End?**

Crowley pulled the last jar out of the box and read the label. Glancing around he found the correct shelf and sat the heavy jar on it. Wiping his hands off on his apron he was pleased with his work. As a demon he had heard story after story of Gabriel's skills as a healer. How the archangel could heal anything with the right ingredients and a proper space. Given the state they were in right now he figured that Gabriel's skills could be put into action once more.  
That was why he had done this. He had taken the empty room that was across from the kitchen and filled it with solid mahogany bookshelves. Each one was custom made and each was labeled alphabetically so everything would be easier to find. Most of the shelves were filled with jars and covered bowls but there were also hanging racks all over as well. Near the door was a large marble desk that doubled as a workstation with a few empty shelves behind it for books and notes. Oh yes he had put a lost of thought into this.  
Gabriel would be thrilled at all the rare ingredients he had managed to find. Yes this healer's lab was everything a person could dream of. There was only one final piece that he needed to be sure of. Crowley walked over to the book case nearest the door and opened the clear plastic lockbox that had been built into the shelf. Opening it the Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out the antique pill case that held the Devil's Claw that he had given the angel.  
Crowley shook his head, remembering how the angel had asked him, turning nearly beet red, to aquire him some more. He was going to say no at first, thinking maybe the angel was in need of a hit but then he realized that Gabriel was like him. After his human blood addiction he kept a small vial of it on his person at all times as a reminder and it seemed that the angel wanted the same. He had agree and when he handed the case over to the angel, the blonde had looked scared when he took it until he told the angel that he couldn't let the drug control him anymore. The smile he got made his day.  
Opening the pill case he sat in inside the little angled shelf so that the pink petal were visible to all. With a grin he closed the lid and locked it. Palming the small key he decided that instead of giving the key to Gabriel, he would give it to Sam. After all, he was sure that after the last time that the Moose would want to be present should the angel work with the drug once more. Taking off his apron, the demon hung it on the rack near the door and grabbed his suit coat and jacket and walked out, whistling as he headed to Sam and Gabriel's room to drop off the key.

 

"So that's what Michael's been doing huh?" Dean asked, passing a cup of coffee to his mate. "I figured it was something like that I just didn't know it'd be that bad."  
Castiel nodded. "What should we do Dean? Should we tell the others?"  
"I don't know man. I mean it's not really our secret to tell." Dean said getting in the bed with the angel and wrapping an arm around him. "Michael made the deal with Xaphanel. He's kept it a secret this long so he must have a pretty good reason for doing so. With Michael's relationship with Lucifer being on the rocks right now I'd rather keep far away from it. Last thing I want to do is out Michael and have that be end of their relationship."  
"I understand but I do think that someone should be told." Castiel said with a sigh, taking a sip of his drink. "Our Father should know at least."  
The hunter nodded. "We'll tell Chuck in the morning if he doesn't already know."  
"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay the night with you?" The angel asked softly.  
Dean actually flushed. "I sort of outed the fact we mated Cas. I hope you don't mind. I was so worried about you that I couldn't hide it anymore. You're not mad at me are you?"  
Castiel seemed to think about it for a minute as he sat his cup on the bedside table. "Does this mean I'm allowed to kiss you in public now?"  
The eldest Winchester let out a smile. "Yeah. You can kiss me in public now. We can even share the room now."  
The dark haired angel grinned. "Good."  
Dean only had a minute to question the response from the angel before Castiel pounced, nearly knocking them both to the floor in his haste to undress them.

 

"Why don't you trust me anymore Mike?" Lucifer asked softly. "Is it because of what I did?"  
"It's part of it." Michael said. "You swore to never hurt Gabriel ever again and you did it anyway. It just makes me question all the promises you make."  
The Morningstar flinched at that. "I talked to Gabriel about what happened that night. I apologized to him and he forgave me. He said he understood that I was worried about you and I tend to overreact when someone I love is hurt."  
Michael nodded, wincing slightly as he pulled on a shirt; most of his wounds were nearly healed but some were still hurting. "I'm glad you apologized and worked it out."  
"What about you Michael?"  
The First Born frowned at the use of his full name and turned to face his mate. "What about me?"  
"Are you going to apologize to me?" Came the soft question.  
"Apologize to you? Why would I need to apologize to you?" Michael asked. "You're the one who hurt Gabriel's feelings."  
Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "And you hurt mine. Or do you not remember threatening to throw me back into the Cage?"  
Michael turned away. "Why should I apologize for that?"  
"Maybe because you accused me of hurting Gabriel with the one thing that I knew would hurt him and then you turned right around and did the same thing to me. You know how I feel about the Cage. You know what the very thought of it does to me anymore." Lucifer reminded him. "You knew and you still said you would do it."  
"What would you have me say Lucifer?" Michael asked, turning to glare at his brother.  
"You could start with the words 'I'm sorry'." Lucifer nearly snapped.  
Michael's glare intensified and Lucifer let out a sigh and backed down. Shaking his head Lucifer turned away and pulled something out of his pocket. Michael felt his heart stutter in his chest as he realized that it was the mating charm he had made for Lucifer. The Second Born wasn't wearing it.  
"What are you doing Lucifer?" Michael asked, trying not to let his worry be heard.  
Lucifer sighed and sat the bracelet on the dresser he was leaning against. "I guess...I guess I'm fixing your mistake."  
"My mistake?" The First Born asked, not sure if Lucifer was being serious or not.  
"Yeah. I should have turned you down when you asked me to mate with you." Lucifer said. "I knew that if Dad ever came to let you out of the Cage that I'd be forgotten again. I didn't think I'd ever have my freedom again but I also knew it was only a matter of time before you'd get tired of me and things would go back to the way they were before."  
"Luc?"  
"It was nice while it lasted Mike." Lucifer said softly, refusing to look at the eldest angel. "Thank you for making my dream come true, even if it was only for a short time. I hope that you find someone that you can actually trust to be with. Someone that you actually love."  
Michael froze; was Lucifer really doing this? "Luc I do love you."  
Lucifer shook his head and stood, moving towards the door. "You only think you do. It'll pass soon and you'll wonder what you even saw in me in the first place. Just promise me that you'll be happy with someone else, someone who you trust. Promise that you'll love them the way you loved me in the beginning when we were happy."  
"Luc please don't go. We can fix this." Michael said softly. "Just...Just...Let's talk about this."  
"I've tried talking about this with you. Your response was to threaten to throw me back in hell." Lucifer said, his voice cracking. "I love you but I can't live in fear of being thrown away when I do something wrong. I don't want to do this Michael but it's better this way. You can keep my feather or throw it away, just don't give it back please."  
"Lucifer please!" Michael said, panic filling him.  
Lucifer shook his head. "I'm sorry Michael."  
Michael felt numb as he watched his mate walk out the door. Walking over to the dresser he picked up Lucifer's bracelet and stared at it. Adam had been right about him needing to apologize but it seemed that now he was too late. He had driven his mate away. How was he going to fix this now?

 

Gabriel slipped out of his and Sam's room and down the hall. He was wearing the shirt Sam had given him and a pair of boxers. He padded silently down the hall and out into the garage where his children were. It had been three days since Xaphanel's attack and now that things had settled down he was able to slip away to talk to his children. They had asked to speak to him tonight after everyone had gone to bed and he was happy to get the chance to spend some time alone with them.  
The three greeted him warmly with kisses, head butts, and cool coils rubbing against his skin. Gabriel sat down and Sleipnir laid down behind him, letting the angel rest against him, while Fenrir curled up on one side of him and Jörmungandr laid his big head in Gabriel's lap. None of them noticed the two shadows that were watching them.  
"I missed you guys." The angel said softly. "I wasn't sure if you'd answer my call."  
^Why would we not answer our maker?^ Jörmungandr asked, his forked tongue flicking out.  
*You will always be the most important person to us.* Fenrir said, leaning up and licking the blonde's face.  
[We would never abandon you.] Sleipnir sat nuzzling Gabriel's cheek with his soft nose.  
"I don't know why you'd care. I haven't been the best dad in the world to you. I left you alone for so long." Gabriel said softly. "I guess I took a page right out of my Dad's book. I swore that when I had kids I wouldn't abandon them like Dad did to us. Then I turned right around and did the same thing. Guess I'm more like him then I thought."  
^We understood why you had to leave. You made sure we knew why it would happen when it did. You were the best dad in the world to us. You love us.^ Jörmungandr said. ^It was more then enough for us. We are honored to call you our creator.^  
"I shouldn't have called you. I shouldn't have dragged you into my mess." Gabriel whispered.  
*You are in great danger Father. That thing has ill intent for you. I fear for you.* Fenrir said letting out a low whine.  
[He will stop at nothing to hurt you. He would sentence you to a life of pain to fulfill his need.] Sleipnir whinnied. [Knowing this the three of us have talked while you were resting with your life mate. We have decided to help you in the only way we can.]  
Gabriel froze. "What are you saying?"  
^The time of gods has passed Father. There are none who believe and worship anymore.^ The snake said. ^It is time for us to move on.^  
Gabriel felt as though his heart stopped. "I need you here."  
*You only think you need us Father.* Fenrir replied, kissing the angel once more. *You have your family once more. Something you told us you always wanted. Now you have it. We can be at peace knowing that you are with them again.*  
"Please don't. You're my family too." Tears streamed down the angel's face as he realized what his kids were saying to him.  
[Yes we are but in this world you are needed more then we are. The Norse ways are gone and we should go along with them.] The horse gently reminded the blonde. [This is our way of thanking you for everything you've done for us.]  
Gabriel shook his head. "I love you."  
[^*We love you as well Father. Always.*^]  
The three began to glow and as they did their bodies began to disappear leaving three small balls of glowing white Grace. The Grace seemed to quiver before merging into a single ball and sank into the angel's body. Gabriel let out a harsh sobs and broke down in tears. His children were gone. They gave up their life force, the very Grace that made them, to give him a fighting chance. The sound of footsteps made Gabriel look up where he found Sam and Chuck watching him sadly.  
"Dad...They...My sons..."  
Chuck came forward and pulled his son into his arms. "I know Gabriel. No parent should ever have to say goodbye to their child. Not even an angel."  
The archangel couldn't take it. His sobs came out harsh and fast. Tears of pure pain and grief. Sam joined them on the floor and helped hold Gabriel as the angel continued to grieve.


End file.
